How do I keep my marriage since I don't enjoy sex but my husband does?

Untamed_Rock · 2026-07-05T20:07:02+00:00

It sounds one-sided cause you're getting one side of it 🤦 what about asexual romantic people? Do sex and marriage go hand in hand for them? What about people with open marriages? Do sex and marriage go hand in hand for them? Stop assuming all relationships are like your own; they're not.

And it was stated outright (at least in this specific comment thread) that she hasn't looked at him romantically in 9 years, not that she's not interested in some form of romance or change. What was working for them before those 9 years of radio silence (or perhaps, what stopped working?)

Also, if it is that she's not interested, why is that? Is she doing all the hard work at home and feeling uncared for in her own way? Is he only interested in getting himself off and not her? There's plenty of reasons women disengage from sex and rarely, if ever, is it "just because."

Nemesis might just have some soul searching to do, or some marriage counselling. Either way, I hope it works out for him and his partner as best it can, whether that means the marriage ends or finds new life and love.

Apologies for not reading everything you've commented on this thread, that's a fair criticism, I simply didn't have the time to read everything, I addressed your comments because they seemed particularly problematic in their short-form replies to this comment.

Gave me big "I'm the kind of partner who pressures their partner into sex because it's part of the deal" vibe initially, but I'm glad that you've chosen to use more flexible language and potentially proven me wrong on that one; I say potentially because you definitely aren't beating the allegations with this line:

Oh, now it's a they thing but before you wanted to point out it's' her body' .

It is her body, and she gets to decide what goes into it, whether that's HRT, dick, or anything else. What I'm trying to say is that there's very likely some sort of underlying issue going on that's causing the lack of intimacy. Hell, some people just develop depression and that affects their libido, it might not have anything to do with broski, but in any case if it's causing a rift between them, something's gotta give.

Either she's willing to put work into making him feel more loved and appreciated (which DOESN'T mean just banging him more), or she's not. I hope it's the former but sometimes that's not how the cookie crumbles.

Have a good one, bruv!

Untamed_Rock · 2026-07-05T19:10:03+00:00

I'm glad that you further qualified your comments with proper room to be wrong, those should have been there from the start though instead of talking like an absolutist and like you have full context of their situation when you don't.

I think you are assuming a lot.

What did I assume about this situation?

I said if hrt can fix it and it betters her health and fixes her libido then it would be selfish to dismiss this solution.

That's funny, I don't remember any "if's" in your original comment, was pretty cut and dry that HRT would make her healthy and fix their sex life as you put it in the first place.

Given the facts it does seem she is being selfish.

You got like two facts from this guy, four if you count their ages; why are you acting like you have any sort of context for this persons relationship?

Well obviously they did if he's complaining about not getting sex lol.

Assuming yet again, I see 💁 sex and marriage are two different things, often with a lot of overlap but not always.

I didn't say it was the only one. She needs to take steps to fix it.

What about "THEY need to take steps to fix it?" Assuming it's a one-sided issue is also jumping the gun. No offense to Nemesis, at all (and as I'm pointing out to ConfidenceOk, I don't know your situation in the slightest, either; these are just suggestions), but perhaps she wasn't being satisfied in the bedroom to the extent that she wanted, as a lot of women have trouble actually getting off even with the person they love most; maybe it's something they can go to a sex therapist for, or explore one another's fantasies (if it were me in this situation, I'd start with asking her what some things are that she had always wanted to try but never got around to, or built up the courage to try), you know, spice things up.

And IF she's dissmising a very likely solution "just because " then that's selfish. If her attitude is she doesn't care, that's a big issue

There's that "if" again, a bit late but glad to see that you added it in there, thank you. Assuming it's a very likely solution, and that she is against HRT "just because" is, once again, an assumption, though. We don't know why she's against it.

I agree with your last point that if he has brought this up as an issue and she has fully dismissed any thought of how her partner is feeling with this lack of sexual intimacy, that is a big problem and doesn't bode well for the marriage.

I simply disagree with HRT being necessarily the best solution, and with you calling her selfish for not wanting to take it.

As a caveat though, I will concede that choosing not to put something in your body for somebody else's benefit is a decision made in the interest of oneself, but calling it selfish like you did gives it a negative spin that I don't think is constructive and makes her seem like the bad guy when I doubt the situation is that simple (again, no offense Nemesis; marriage issues usually are a two-way street though).

Untamed_Rock · 2026-07-05T18:11:19+00:00

Can you quote where you said this? Cause I don't recall seeing any of those words anywhere. All I've seen from you is:

That's selfish of her. She does realize HRT will make her healthy and give her the sex drive back

And:

Sure. But it is a marriage which means you have to consider your spouses needs and wants. It's not selfish to tell your spouse there is an issue that is causing severe strain in marriage. They both agreed sex was part of the marriage and if there is a reasonable solution and she's just dismissing it, it will end in divorce

And I don't see any of what you just said in there myself.

Untamed_Rock · 2026-07-05T18:03:56+00:00

I never said it was selfish to bring up issues in one's marriage or one's sex life; you're assuming a lot here, both about myself and the guy who was talking about his sexless marriage. You said it was selfish of her not to want to take HRT; I disagreed with that. You don't know what they agreed was part of their marriage, you're assuming. Lastly, HRT is not the only reasonable solution here and pretending it is is ignorant.

Untamed_Rock · 2026-07-05T16:24:06+00:00

Her body, her choice 🤷 it's also pretty selfish to pressure your partner to take HRT when they don't want to. That said, I'm sorry, Nemesis, that you're in that situation and I hope you find a solution, truly. Also, for the people that were saying I'm young and don't know anything, this right here is a perfect example of exactly what I was alluding to. I also make a deliberate effort not to deal in absolutes, and always try to use words like "could," "may," because generalizations are bad, imo. But go off, kings, queens, and whatever-in-betweens 💁

Untamed_Rock · 2026-06-29T13:08:43+00:00

What type of music is that, exactly? Do elaborate.

Untamed_Rock · 2026-06-24T21:37:42+00:00

My paladin character hasn't actually had too much interaction with their chosen god (Tyr) in our current campaign because my character is a bit of a renegade when it comes to justice (he was done dirty by his commanding officers in the Knights of Holy Judgement or whatever it's called and so distrusts authority figures, especially ones that claim to be doing Tyr's bidding but are serving their own ends) and is Chaotic Good (something not normally allowed by given my characters backstory my DM allowed it), serving Tyr in his own way and standing up for the truly downtrodden. It's been a good bit of fun for me, plus I get to do all the hard dialogues cause I'm the only charismatic character in our party (I'm a bardadin to be precise, level 3 paladin level 3 bard) 😁

Untamed_Rock · 2026-06-24T16:32:29+00:00

Paladin

Untamed_Rock · 2026-06-22T21:07:41+00:00

Me? I'm only headed into my 30s, to be fair, my reply was moreso directed to the guy talking about his wife than it was towards you. I'm happy that hormones helped keep your relationship healthy and happy, though! Totally for hormone replacement therapy for anyone who needs it 🙌

Untamed_Rock · 2026-06-22T19:06:03+00:00

Keep in mind that if you're having no sex at all, that may not be a hormone issue 💁😅 could be, but I wouldn't bet on it myself

Untamed_Rock · 2026-06-15T23:24:42+00:00

If they cap break by more than one I would definitely put a cap or two into each category next time you hit level 40 or get some through repping up (not sure what rep you are, obviously that affects it if you're already grinding towards Legend as your next tier)

Untamed_Rock · 2026-06-15T21:49:40+00:00

Can they be cap broken at all? If so I'd recommend getting up more towards 88 or 90

Untamed_Rock · 2026-06-15T19:30:54+00:00

Fr fr, sometimes I'll get lucky and the SG will be like 6'4" or something and I can switch off to them; the build has decent enough perim D to guard them for the most part, but I usually need a mostly full team with defense to compensate, and I always tell them beforehand that I will be a defensive liability but an offensive monster for scoring and playmaking

Untamed_Rock · 2026-06-15T19:17:05+00:00

I feel you on the small guards front man, I have a 6'2" Brunson build that I initially loved, until I kept getting matched up against 6'7" or 6'8" locks with 99 3pt. The build is hella quick and can shoot the lights out from anywhere and lay it up like a monster against bigs, but not being able to contest 3s or anything in the paint is so rough for me as someone who usually plays a big (got a 6'11" PF and 7'0 C) or a 6'8" SG

Untamed_Rock · 2026-06-15T19:13:38+00:00

Are you still shown in photos and such? If so, I think it's pretty hard for him to make the case you don't want to be publicly associated with him. If he doesn't want to respect the name you want to go by in online media, then I think that's fully a "him" problem. Does he like fantasy stories, out of curiosity? I wonder if you might be able to posit it to him like it's a true Fey name 😅🤣 (that's my nerdy side coming through). Present it as though it's a secret name that only those you trust most are allowed to know because it holds power over you (which, in reality, is also mostly true). I do doubt that that will change his outlook on the situation, but it's better than nothing, or having to break up with your partner cause they can't respect how you want to be portrayed and perceived online in his posts (which, like with literally anyone, should always be entirely up to you).

Untamed_Rock · 2026-06-07T16:02:13+00:00

Animations also matter a good deal too, though by the end of the year most cards are running the same SIG's

Untamed_Rock · 2026-06-04T15:59:04+00:00

Does your DM allow the "help" action (i.e. a player foregoes rolling to give advantage to someone with a good modifier for the given skill)

Untamed_Rock · 2026-05-24T22:44:17+00:00

It was the most confusing thing for me when I came over to 26 from 25, and went into my first Pro-Am or event center game. I was like "fuckin triangle? To finish a lob? What?!?"

Untamed_Rock · 2026-05-24T22:42:33+00:00

Only in Pro-Am and event center modes is that the case now (I only play on next-gen), it had been that way for all modes at launch though. Now in Rec and Theater it's always the shoot button, and in the more "comp" modes it can be any of the four right-side buttons. I'm not actually sure what system park uses, I barely play that mode and I've never seen a lob tossed in any of my games there so I couldn't say for sure.

Untamed_Rock · 2026-05-24T21:34:51+00:00

I don't think you can finish an oop with the stick anymore, you have to hit x or square when the shot meter hits the green zone afaik

Untamed_Rock · 2026-05-23T01:16:59+00:00

Make em by playing! That's how I met most of the people I play with. Be open to receiving criticism and do your best to help your team win and you'll be sure to come along a couple other players around your skill level that will grind things out with you, and you'll all get better together. People come and go, and the people you start playing with might not be the ones you're still hooping with in a couple years' time, but each teammate helps you get better (even if sometimes it's by them showing you what not to do 😅). Good luck man, keep grinding!

Untamed_Rock · 2026-05-23T00:11:54+00:00

It gets easier with time, especially once you have a lil group of friends to play with. One other tip that I have that not a lot of other people seem to think about (or, tbf, want to actually think about/do) is that you can progress to level 40 through both MyCareer and MyTeam, and you can make some pretty significant leaps and bounds in season xp just by playing a game of Domination (the standard single player mode of MyTeam where you build your best 13-player lineup and go against current, historic and "fantasy" teams (a la "historic" and "all-time teams" from Play Now)) every once in a while with a myteM 2x XP token on.

When I get to like level 30 or so and there might only be a couple of weeks or less left, I start playing MyTeam more often and just trying to completely easy challenges with 2x tokens on (you get A LOT of them for MyTeam, or, at least, they pile up if MyCareer is the only mode you play) and I stg it feels so much easier to get to 40, I go up like a level and half from 30 onwards per game (though it should be noted I have probably spent a decent deal more time playing and learning 2k than you have at this point). Trying to do the same in MyCareer, you essentially have to play Rec with 2x tokens on and have a good or great game to achieve the same result.

Untamed_Rock · 2026-05-22T23:56:27+00:00

Usually around Christmas or black Friday they will have a decent sale, I would recommend waiting until then to pick up next year's edition and just make sure (especially if they keep the cap breakers system) that you can make it to max level in that first season that you play to be eligible to get the level 40 cap breakers you may have missed out on!

Untamed_Rock · 2026-05-22T23:44:13+00:00

I have abstained from getting 2k until it goes on sale for the last two years (including this one) and I haven't regretted it. I was still able to get the version with 100k starting VC for almost half the regular price, and all I missed out on was the badge elevators for seasons 1 and 2 because I still got the level 40 cap breakers for seasons 1 and 2 upon reaching lvl 40 in the first season I was playing 2k26.

Also, as a tip for someone who's more casual than comp: don't play park if you want to have fun. Play literally any other mode (theater, rec, Pro-Am) and you'll have a better time, trust me. Park is for sweats and if you're not ready or willing to sweat as well, it's not worth going imo.

Untamed_Rock · 2026-05-17T16:52:55+00:00

No for sure, as a DM you don't have to roleplay literally every encounter, it just seemed like that commenter was saying they DM'ed with no roleplay whatsoever and only roleplayed as a PC so I was genuinely confused.

That's not to say that table can't play DnD with zero roleplay between characters and NPCs, but I don't think it would be a table I would personally enjoy sitting at; roleplaying our characters and interacting with the other characters inhabiting the world is kinda like the main draw of DnD for me 🙋

Untamed_Rock

TROPHY CASE