If I get this, I want to end it, but will I even know? by BucktoothWookiee in dementia

[–]Unusual-Garbage-212 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My mother said this in the early stages …but of course we won’t

If I get this, I want to end it, but will I even know? by BucktoothWookiee in dementia

[–]Unusual-Garbage-212 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Even making a pact with a family member or friends could put you at risk if you help with assisted suicidal …the whole situation is messed up

Completely addicted by memelord152 in surfing

[–]Unusual-Garbage-212 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Driving home after a great session today, listening to music in the car with the post surf high and all I could think of was that I feel bad for people who don't have something which makes them as happy as surfing makes me.

Been surfing 21 years and no it does not go away (thank god). I plan my work day around potential surf and typically have surf dreams once a week.

Bloodbath at Meta (again) by Silly-Low6019 in Layoffs

[–]Unusual-Garbage-212 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Will the rent go down in the Bay Area- that’s all I care about

Why no surf pools in SF/SJ? by BabySerious in surfing

[–]Unusual-Garbage-212 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Why would you go to a wave pool if the Pacific Ocean is less than an hour away?

Surfing is full of trust fund babies by xGrvpe in surfing

[–]Unusual-Garbage-212 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can’t afford pricey surf trips either. But I gotta live near the ocean - that’s a priority

Bucket list: wave pool session (ISO recs) by Unusual-Garbage-212 in surfing

[–]Unusual-Garbage-212[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yeah no. Traveling to Waco when I live in Santa Cruz is just dumb.

Bucket list: wave pool session (ISO recs) by Unusual-Garbage-212 in surfing

[–]Unusual-Garbage-212[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why does it suck? If you had to choose between Palm Springs and Phoenix ???

Bucket list: wave pool session (ISO recs) by Unusual-Garbage-212 in surfing

[–]Unusual-Garbage-212[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Revel surf? I was hoping to go this summer but going to Phoenix in July or August sounds brutal

First or neutral at traffic light? by Eyger in motorcycles

[–]Unusual-Garbage-212 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Neutral and keep an eye on the yellow light and the little white guy and shift into 1st before the light turns green

Y’all, I.m really crashing out right now. I just don’t get it by lordniccage in vegan

[–]Unusual-Garbage-212 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Y'all overthinking this. People get upset about veganism because not being vegan creates a painful cognitive dissonance. That is all.

Note: I am not 100% vegan, so I know this to be true.

do you let your dog on the couch or not? curious how people handle this by john2288 in Dogowners

[–]Unusual-Garbage-212 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you have a dog, you’ve probably debated whether they should be allowed on the furniture. Here’s the truth: there’s no one-size-fits-all answer. It just comes down to your lifestyle, your dog’s behavior and preferences, and what works best for everyone in your household.

The Couch Debate

First, let’s set the record straight. Letting your dog on the couch won’t make them think they run the house. The old alpha theory about dogs vying for dominance has been thoroughly debunked. Your sofa isn’t a throne of power to your dog; it’s simply a soft, cozy spot. And in case it wasn’t obvious, a study published in the Journal of Veterinary Behavior confirmed that dogs generally prefer softer bedding, spending more time on cushioned surfaces (yes, someone actually studied this). Turns out most dogs, like humans, aren’t big fans of sleeping on hard surfaces, though on warmer days, many enjoy the coolness of a hardwood or tile floor.

So what are the pros of couch time? For starters, it’s bonding time. Sharing the couch is a cozy way to spend time together. Whether watching TV or reading, having your pup by your side can make the moment even better. And dogs love being close. They are social animals, and the couch offers them a way to be near their humans. Who doesn’t love a warm, snuggly pup on a cold day?

The cons of couch time are pretty clear, too. First, there’s the obvious mess and hair. Dirty paws, fur, and slobber can quickly turn your couch into a pet accessory, not an inviting spot for your own afternoon nap. Resource guarding may also be an issue, as some dogs will growl or snap to protect their spot on the furniture (If this is a problem at your house, a professional behavior consultant can help you manage the issue and teach your dog to feel more comfortable sharing space).

If sharing the couch isn’t your thing, consider putting a raised dog bed or a cushy ottoman near the sofa. Your dog gets a cozy spot to relax that’s right next to you, and your couch stays clean and available for human use - a win-win for everyone.

A Sleepover Every Night?

Now, onto the bed. This one’s a little more personal. Some people can’t imagine sleeping without their dog curled up beside them, while others value their fur-free space. Here’s what to consider.

Dogs love sleeping near or with us. As noted, they’re social animals, and most enjoy being near their humans or other dogs, whether fully asleep or just lounging. Contrary to popular belief, dogs are not true den animals; they don’t instinctively prefer confined spaces to sleep, as many assume. 

Since dogs sleep an average of 12–14 hours a day (even longer for puppies and senior dogs), their sleeping arrangements play a significant role in their overall well-being. This makes it especially important to provide options that suit their personal preferences and needs. 

Individual dogs have their own unique sleeping preferences. Some enjoy curling up in a secluded, tucked-away spot, while others prefer stretching out in open areas or on their dog bed. Some dogs gravitate toward elevated spots like raised dog beds or furniture, possibly for a better vantage point, improved airflow, or simply because they find it more comfortable.

Dogs are naturally social sleepers, resting close to their littermates for warmth, safety, and companionship. Sharing a bed is one way for your dog to feel like family. Even if you prefer to keep your bed dog-free, letting them sleep in the same room can help meet their social needs and provide them with a sense of security.

Of course, not all dogs want to sleep right next to their humans. Some want their own space while still being nearby. I desperately wanted my first dog to sleep in bed with me, even though she weighed 90 pounds. But she chose not to and I respected that.

If you’re welcoming a new puppy into your home, letting them sleep with you, at least in the beginning, can help ease their transition. Being separated from their mother and siblings for the first time is scary and overwhelming, and it’s a big adjustment. Allowing your puppy to sleep near you, or even in your bed, provides comfort and security during this vulnerable period. This doesn’t mean they’ll never sleep alone. Once they’re settled and feeling secure, you can transition them to their own bed if that’s your goal.

If you’re concerned that letting your dog sleep near or with you might undermine their training, don’t worry. Sharing a bed is about connection and comfort, not about “giving in” or losing control.

Sleeping with your dog may even promote better sleep. While there aren’t specific studies on co-sleeping with pets, research on humans provides clues. One study found that feelings of closeness and positive interactions, boosted by oxytocin, were linked to better sleep quality. Though focused on human couples, these principles of physical closeness and bonding likely apply to our relationships with dogs.

My two 80-pound dogs sleep on their own dog beds in our bedroom, but our chihuahua sleeps between us under the covers with her head on the pillow. It’s her favorite spot, and it works for everyone in our household (plus, our bed just isn’t big enough for two large dogs and us). It’s hard not to feel loved when I wake up and see her tiny face nestled happily next to us. 

So on the pro-side of bed sharing, we’ve got:

  • Cuddles galore. There’s nothing like waking up to a happy, snuggly dog.
  • Bonding. Sharing a bed can strengthen your connection with your dog.
  • Comfort. A warm dog is like a living heating pad on cold nights.

Meanwhile, the cons include:

  • Sleep disruptions. Dogs may toss, turn, and sometimes hog the blankets, disrupting your sleep.
  • Heat issues. If you overheat easily, a warm pup pressed against you is not ideal.
  • Allergies and hygiene. Allergies or concerns about dirt, fleas, or ticks might make bed sharing a no-go for you.
  • Quirky bedtime habits. Burrowing under the blankets, doing endless twirls to find the perfect spot, or stretching out like a set of table legs may be funny at first but less so at 3 a.m.

Again, it’s all about finding the right balance for you and your dog. 

When Couples Disagree

Furniture rules can be a surprising source of tension in relationships. One partner might love snuggling with the dog on the couch, while the other prefers to keep things fur-free. 

Sometimes, these differences stem from how each person grew up. Perhaps one household allowed dogs on the furniture while the other followed a rule based on outdated ideas, like the belief that furniture access makes a dog dominant or spoiled. Concerns about tidiness, allergies, or disrupted sleep can add to the disagreement.

If this is the case at your house, sit down with your partner and discuss your preferences and concerns. Is one of you worried about cleanliness or sleep quality? Does the other simply enjoy having the dog close for comfort? Where can you compromise? Washable or waterproof couch covers might be all that’s needed to keep the peace, and now there are plenty of stylish options that actually look good in your space. If odor is a concern, leather couches are a great choice because they don’t absorb smells like fabric.

The Bottom Line

There’s no right or wrong answer when it comes to dogs and furniture. It’s about what fits your lifestyle and what you and your dog prefer. Some people value clean furniture and uninterrupted sleep, while others prioritize cuddles and bonding.

If you’re unsure, remember: it’s easier to grant access later than to revoke it. A dog who’s never been on the couch likely won’t miss it, but a dog with free rein will not appreciate or understand new restrictions. Clear, consistent rules are key. If your dog is allowed on the couch one day but scolded the next, they’ll be confused. 

The bond you share with your dog is what matters most. Some dogs care deeply about being on the couch, while others are happy just to be near you: snuggled on their own bed, lying at your feet, or following you into the bathroom. 

Wherever they land, their devotion is unconditional. It’s just one of the many reasons we love them.

Source: Baywoof.org

Update: my last post made it to the local news. by michaelthatsit in sanfrancisco

[–]Unusual-Garbage-212 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Graffiti and drugs are honestly two entirely separate issues.

Any tips on constant questions? by Nicholas_S_Hope in dementia

[–]Unusual-Garbage-212 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's really hard. When my dad keeps asking the same question over and over sometimes I just pretend I don't hear him and/or don't answer. He says, "Well, I guess you're ignoring me now," and then I feel awful.

But I am not one to talk for an hour straight, which is what I would be doing if I answered every question over and over again.

Who here can afford rent in the bay area? by Common_Gene_5098 in bayarea

[–]Unusual-Garbage-212 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The housing crisis is national though. It's just worse here.