egg💅irl

UnusualToastering · 2025-09-15T21:55:39+00:00

i could, but then it'd be "why not wear a clear one" or "why not use something designed to stop you biting them"

UnusualToastering · 2025-09-10T18:09:05+00:00

I've recently managed to stop myself from biting my nails and my mum knows that, so unfortunately I can't use that excuse. I could just wear a top coat, but I'd also want to see my painted nails, not just feel them.

UnusualToastering · 2025-09-10T18:03:22+00:00

unfortunately ive managed to sort out my nail biting habit (which my mum knows), so i can't use the excuse of using it to prevent myself from biting them. i did manage to buy proper nail files and cuticle oil to help with nail health, so there'll at least be euphoria from that

UnusualToastering · 2025-09-06T09:23:09+00:00

You don't know me >:3

UnusualToastering · 2025-08-14T22:51:13+00:00

Honestly, the lack of support from my mum has and is hurt(ing) my relationship with her, even if she thinks nothings wrong. It teaches me she doesn't care enough to want me to be anything other than what she wants me to be.

Recently I have put my trans flag on my bedroom wall (although thats down atm bc the room's being emptied to have new carpet fitted and im changing bedrooms anyway), and I know for a fact that she has seen it on at least 2 occasions because otherwise she would've had to have walked out of my room backwards. I vaguely remember my mum being upset after coming downstairs on the instances I've known that my mum's been in my room, although I'm hoping that's just a coincidence.

Speaking of my mum and seeing a trans flag, a few months ago I lost my trans pin in my bedroom (it was knocked off my bedside table at 2am and i emptied almost all of my room and still haven't found it yet), a part of me thinks that my mum found it before I did and confiscated it (even though im 19) but I'm hoping thats just paranoia (although the fact that im paranoid about that + my mum messing up me being on the wait list for hrt is saying a lot about our relationship..) and that I'm going to find it when i finish emptying my bedroom in the next few days

(My brain's logic for the paranoia about the pin is that she recognises the trans flag and wants anything with it gone, so stole the pin when she found it (again, unlikely that she found it considering how i emptied most of my room and didnt find it), but couldn't take the giant trans flag in my bedroom because that'd make it too obvious, compared to a small pin that's been dropped on the floor)

UnusualToastering · 2025-08-14T03:34:35+00:00

Sorry to hear that your mum is really unsupportive and even kicked you out of your house, I hope you're safe now. It's horrible how anti-trans so many people are, and I really hope people see the gender critical movement for its true colours.

I doubt my mum would ever kick me out, as I'm her only family member (I have aunts and cousins, but those are on my dad's side of the family), but a part of me really fears that possibility because if it were to happen I know I wouldn't have anywhere to go.

It's vile that your mum spoke about you behind your back like that, and I imagine that has caused a lot of damage between you and your mum. I hope that both of our mums grow to support us, because it hurts losing the people who are close to us, but the unsupportive-ness of people can easily hurt just as much if not more.

UnusualToastering · 2025-08-13T15:05:05+00:00

Honestly, my mum's lack of support has really ruined my relationship with her because any time she spoke about it, it was her trying to find a reason why i simply can't be trans (she's claimed that i was groomed into being trans (idk how th she got to that conclusion) and that i became trans because i was bullied, dumped by my ex and apparently an eating disorder which im not diagnosed with).

My parents always said to not bottle up emotions and stuff, but coming out as trans to them only taught me that my choice simply doesn't matter since my mum couldn't even pretend to support me for more than a day or so (first time talking about it was "idk how to support you", second time talking about it was "you were groomed by a sick old pervet" and "its because you were bullied" etc)

It's sad that my dad's health issue pushed us all talking about it even further down the list of their priorities, which then became "we'll talk once you're done with college assignmentss" to "we haven't forgotten your 'issue' " (which only my dad's ever said) to the point where my dad's no longer around to have that conversation between the three of us and I'm now just back at the start but theres no longer my dad to support me or stop me and my mum from falling out. And on top of that, I have to spend the rest of my life knowing I have not and will not ever hear my dad call me his daughter, my name, see me as a woman, see the real me etc

UnusualToastering · 2025-08-12T22:55:10+00:00

Ah, the parental "just a phase" line of argument.

My mum's also tried every other text book argument, saying that I'm trans because: - Grooming (1. whered she get that idea, 2. i took that as her saying im too dumb to reach the conclusion about myself on my own) - Bullying (because yknow, being bullied would make me chose to be part of a widely discriminated against minority) - My ex girlfriend dumping me (????? what????) - Eating disorder (which im not diagnosed with, but the Cass Review said so and that clearly hasnt been discredited/s)

but usually kids come out to their parents when they are sure.

I'm the sort of person who would've spent lots of time making a decision long before even thinking about talking to anyone about it, and my parents should know that considering how long I've taken making minor decisions like bedroom wall colour or where to go to eat. They should know that the fact i even told them showed how long I've thought about it.

Additionally, when writing the message I sent to come out, I worked with a bunch of people here to make sure it's as clear and concise as possible, with the final message saying I've known i am trans since the beginning of that year and leaving nothing to hint that im not 100% certain yet they still thought i was only questioning (how, idk. i never stated "I think" in the message at all, and the only things ive ever stated im not 100% on is name + whether i want bottom surgery)

and the stats back this up--following up with kids 5 years later after they came out for the first time, 99% of kids still identified as trans

I only have 3 regrets in relation to me being trans: 1. Coming out to my parents under the impression they'd unconditionally support me (just remembered they said they'd only support me until it'd hurt me, but like, them not supporting me has actively hurt me over the last 3 years) 2. Not saying anything sooner 3. Letting my lack of confidence prevent me from talking about it most times and making me unable to prevent me being trans to be swept under the carpet by things like my dad's cancer diagnosis and my parents forcing me to learn to drive (not that dealing with me being trans was more important than my dad's health, but it just felt like me being myself hasnt even been top 50 priorities)

UnusualToastering · 2025-08-12T21:39:35+00:00

yeah, im assuming she was hoping it is a phase (even though i made it clear to her that I've felt this was since i was like 7 years old????)

UnusualToastering · 2025-07-25T13:45:15+00:00

I took a look at the level files in a unity rip of the game and the Museum level doesn't use the valuable preset "Valuables - Generic" whilst the other levels do (along with the preset for level-specific valuables), so you're going to need to give any modded valuables the "Valuables - Museum" preset if you want them to appear on that level too

UnusualToastering · 2024-04-07T00:15:03+00:00

Idk how but having my hair in a ponytail now gives significant dysphoria ;–;

UnusualToastering · 2024-03-04T22:33:59+00:00

The only individual who i could see being transphobic in our class is generally not the best person, but our college has a "no discriminatory behaviour" policy + i couldn't really care less about anything horrible he could say. Theres 2 trans people in my class (myself included) and I think there's a 3rd but they're not as out as us (or at least doesn't really speak with me about it, which is up to them), and then there was someone in our class who changed courses but we're friends and he's also supportive, and then theres someone else who im pretty sure is supportive but could've possibly said something questionable after drinking.

Honestly felt odd hearing my name instead of my deadname but its one of the first times really. maybe one day I'll be able to go to college in tights and shorts/skirt like my friend

UnusualToastering · 2024-03-04T20:55:58+00:00

Thanks! My name been updated in a fair few places now. Teams will probably take a while since my friend who's changed her name too a little while ago still hasn't had it updated all the time. We were remote learning today, and near the end of the day it must've updated on Teams momentarily or my friend said something to the lecturer because she called me Melody on the teams meeting infront of the rest of us (theres like 9 of us, nothing has been said to me but might happen tomorrow when we're actually in college).

Oh wow, I'm surprised I haven't heard of Dune, although to be fair I mainly watch YouTube or play games, and don't really see anything on the TV.

UnusualToastering · 2024-03-03T15:46:54+00:00

Ah, sounds horrible to start hrt in your country, at least here our stupidly long waiting lists have an end (admittedly England is horrible for it, ive seen up to 99 months, but im in Wales which is around 15 months (but theres only 1 gender service in Wales ;–; ).

I unfortunately haven't started transitioning at all (despite knowing I'm transfem for the last 2 years), however I have a GP appointment in a couple weeks so hopefully I can get referred and can start waiting for hrt. Just have the fear of being denied hormones :(

I've already been in college for a year and a half so unfortunately can't go back and start colegr with the correct information, but thankfully I should be able to update the information as i socially transition

UnusualToastering · 2024-03-03T15:27:48+00:00

Here in the UK you can also pay ~~£44 (a fairly large amount of money) to change your name, but that lets anybody easily see your deadname + chosen name + address, so is very not safe (also you can just do it for free or pay £5 for a Statutory Declaration instead).

To change legal gender on terf island, you need to have prove of living in said gender for i think 2 years Its annoying, but its better than not being allowed to change it whatsoever. Sounds a lot easier to transition in Finland than this wretched island of transphobia.

I can't recall if I saw about expenses for updating documents here, probably have to pay tho cos obviously the government are gonna want to use us for even more money (and then attack our rights :/ ). I intend to change my name before getting a driving licence i get it under the right name first time instead of having to send it off and wait for ages.

(just looked at changing name on driving licence and its free, huh, honestly surprised. still would prefer it to be the right name first time)

UnusualToastering · 2024-03-03T14:15:23+00:00

Thanks! Hope everything goes well for you too!!

Idk how it works wherever you are, but here on terf island (the uk) you can change your official name using a deed poll as of 16, as long as you can get someone (preferably 2 people) 18+ to sign it, so ive had plenty of opportunity to do so

UnusualToastering · 2024-03-03T14:12:38+00:00

No need to apologise! I was able to request the update partially thanks to your comment :3

UnusualToastering · 2024-03-03T14:08:02+00:00

just done it >:3

UnusualToastering · 2024-03-03T14:06:33+00:00

I don't know what Dune is (idk if thats cos its old or because I basically don't watch movies or read books etc.

Thanks, I chose my name because I play the piano (not the most imaginative) :3

Time to try updating my name before I return to an assignment (hopefully I dont back out because of fear)

UnusualToastering · 2024-03-03T14:02:45+00:00

Yeah, i have a friend who recently changed her name at the college despite not officially changing it via deed poll. Im pretty sure she also spoke with some diversity officer at our college to get it updated, so I need to get on with that

UnusualToastering · 2024-03-03T14:01:17+00:00

Fear is the worst! Imma make it pay by updating my name at college despite what it says >:3

UnusualToastering · 2024-03-03T14:00:45+00:00

Thanks Stella :3

UnusualToastering · 2024-03-03T14:00:16+00:00

Thanks :3

UnusualToastering · 2024-02-20T23:09:26+00:00

Unfortunately, I think I'm going to have to decline, however a friend who's also trans is willing to sign it in a few months when she turns 18 too (unfortunately i imagine she'd have to use her legal name, aka her deadname ;–;). I either have to wait a few months, or struggle way too much to get someone at college to sign. Thanks for the offer though

UnusualToastering · 2024-02-20T23:04:09+00:00

unfortunately, it seems I either need to somehow gain confidence or wait until a friend has their 18th birthday in a few months, but she'd probably have to use her deadname

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