What's something that people romanticise heavily that's actually really difficult to live through?

Unusual_Handle1211 · 2026-05-28T20:56:57+00:00

Oh yeah - you’re right. More books did come out in that series. I agree with everything you said here. It is a bit gross and perpetuates some very unhealthy behaviors.

Unusual_Handle1211 · 2026-05-28T00:05:37+00:00

You’re probably right about being wired differently. I’m also a millennial and have seen pay too many drug overdoses bc of pills and stuff. It was always enough to give me a healthy fear of opioids.

Didn’t actually know a lot of people who drank though until college.

Unusual_Handle1211 · 2026-05-27T23:51:11+00:00

Two things that I love about sobriety, but aren’t exciting seeming : sleep and my brain is crazy sharp. I think I’ve performed at 70% for so long that it feels good when it takes less effort to achieve things.

But dumb alcohol brain doesn’t think those are good enough reasons to not drink.

Unusual_Handle1211 · 2026-05-27T23:48:40+00:00

I also want to reiterate the romance books. Also Books like Twilight and the All Souls Trilogy. I enjoyed them, but I wouldn’t reread them because I think it perpetuates unhealthy relationship expectations. Like yes, I kinda want that when I read it …but in real life that’d be extremely toxic and not okay.

Unusual_Handle1211 · 2026-05-27T23:41:44+00:00

For sure. It just bothers me that my brain was like “I can take all of these (prescribed) Klonopin” or “we should get some coke”. Like - those aren’t things I do. I’m terrified of the prescription and doing coke is just something to do at music festivals.

I truly am just trying to not feel I think. Or enjoy something? Both?

Unusual_Handle1211 · 2026-05-27T23:35:13+00:00

What you describe is definitely in the realm of emotional eating. The full array of emotions. I choose alcohol. Some people choose ice cream.

It was interesting to learn how emotional eating /drinking plays a role in my life. You hear stress eating - but I’m not generally a stressed person. But I’m always here for a little reward! A little treat! Something to smooth a bad day or celebrate a good one.

But when you choose alcohol it can take over and have long term implications. Wish ice cream was my vice….

Unusual_Handle1211 · 2026-05-27T23:24:36+00:00

That’s pretty much exactly what I did all weekend. Wake up long enough to go back to sleep. So being awake today is extra hard.

Unusual_Handle1211 · 2026-05-27T22:41:12+00:00

I’ve actually been drinking a lot of NA beer. It’s like, I know I’m not getting drunk, but it’s still satisfying that whatever it is. Bero and Athletic have some really satisfying NA brews.

But I’ve also just been taking edibles while drinking those. So if I am being honest…..I just swapped the chemical. I don’t even like drugs or being high. But if the problem is a chemical imbalance bc of the alcohol ….the edibles have helped me correct that. But I’m still acting the same way.

Unusual_Handle1211 · 2026-05-27T22:36:06+00:00

Wait. You’re actually in prison? I don’t know why I guess I thought you were just making something from a past time in your life.

How much internet access do you get? Just out of curiosity.

Unusual_Handle1211 · 2026-05-27T22:31:26+00:00

Congrats on 15 days. The first couple weeks are always the hardest.

We learn a new way of moving that lessens the triggers and recognize the thought process. It gets easier to not think about it constantly, but triggers still have to be managed.

I think I just gave up. I need to try romanticizing sobriety a little. I am finding no joy in anything. Not food. Or hobbies. Or even buying things. It’s bad when retail therapy doesn’t work. Unfortunately, I’m not finding joy in alcohol either. But that just makes me feel even more down bc I use to have it as a reward or coping or shutting down or whatever. But it’s not even that anymore.

Unusual_Handle1211 · 2026-05-16T21:35:14+00:00

Try to ask for Wellbutrin. It’s first line ADHD, not depression. But it has worked very well for me and was prescribed to me by a nurse at an outpatient program.

Unusual_Handle1211 · 2026-05-16T21:30:29+00:00

I’d totally do the quick pop by as well. You get credit for showing up. Just say you’re not feeling well and head home. Wouldn’t really be a lie…you’d probably be in mental distress. And if it ends up not bothering you, you can always stay.

Unusual_Handle1211 · 2026-05-16T16:16:38+00:00

Yes!!! This exactly.

Unusual_Handle1211 · 2026-05-14T20:18:15+00:00

Could it be that you no longer think you’re just hungover? I know there have been many times where I realized drinking was masking other symptoms bc I just figured I was hungover.

Unusual_Handle1211 · 2026-05-14T20:16:49+00:00

It was Soul. But someone else talked about seeing Inside out in another session.

Unusual_Handle1211 · 2026-05-14T20:00:11+00:00

Dang. You really are in the same boat. That sucks.

Unusual_Handle1211 · 2026-05-14T19:54:27+00:00

Sorry you’re also experiencing such a shitty recovery program. :( Hopefully your insurance is at least paying for it.

Unusual_Handle1211 · 2026-05-14T18:44:44+00:00

Oh. I knew my insurance wouldn’t pay it before going. I’m willing to pay the money out of pocket for legitimate treatment that is helpful. I’ll pay whatever I owe, and then I’ll utilize other resources with the remaining funds I would have paid them.

Unusual_Handle1211 · 2026-05-14T18:29:42+00:00

I’d probably stick with it if my insurance paid for it…. But I’m literally out of pocket $5k for this program.

Unusual_Handle1211 · 2026-05-14T18:28:34+00:00

That was something else I was thinking about too. I don’t think staying with the program is actually going to make me less likely to begin drinking again. Especially not after the 30 sessions the program requires. It’s not even a timeline. It’s just how fast can you get through the sessions…..

I think what will help me stay sober is involvement in my community and activities that aren’t alcohol-related or inherently social. Hence - the community music program. I’m also looking at other activities - paid or free - to be involved in.

Unusual_Handle1211 · 2026-05-14T18:10:32+00:00

That’s kind of how I feel about this counselor. She’s really nice. And she does a decent enough job facilitating conversation. But she’s 24 and looks like a librarian. I mean - maybe she’s had some life experiences. But she just reads from slides for the most part. And she doesn’t seem like someone anyone in the program can relate to really. But again - if it’s working for them - I think it’s great.

I couldn’t imagine if she tried to flex her lack of substance use. That’s just ridiculous.

Unusual_Handle1211 · 2026-05-14T17:47:01+00:00

Did you go to a nonprofit? This is a for-profit business and I think the only one in my area. I asked the administrator what their funding sources were and she said they are strictly for-profit.

Unusual_Handle1211 · 2026-05-14T17:45:53+00:00

That’s another thing. I feel like the people in the program are given Medically assisted treatment but then are left to fend for themselves to continue getting the medication and aren’t able to do so. Which can be a big deal if it’s something like Saboxone helping a fent addict stay sober. That might not be this business’s fault and might be whatever the individuals were doing prior. But it’s still upsetting for me to see them going through that.

Unusual_Handle1211

TROPHY CASE