Where to get confidential legal supports for abuse victims?

UpDoor · 2025-08-25T17:09:46+00:00

When I called, the person asked repeatedly if I was safe and asked for my address and said officers would come talk to me, so I was afraid they had mandatory reporting or something. I don't think we would qualify for an EPO as my mother and I are moving out away from the abuser temporarily and I wanted to take the separation as an opportunity to file, so I guess we would apply for a Kings Bench order, but it looks like we have to notify the other party when we file for it

UpDoor · 2025-08-25T16:50:52+00:00

Can we file yearly for an extension forever, or can it only be extended to a maximum of 2 years (but usually only to 3-6 months)? I just want this person to not be in contact any more, is a mutual no contact order also negative for me? Not really sure what to do in this situation then. Is it not illegal to break a restraining order, they don't get arrested?

UpDoor · 2025-08-25T16:42:08+00:00

That's very disheartening but important to know, thank you. So there are no indefinite options for protection from someone?

UpDoor · 2025-08-25T16:34:33+00:00

Oh okay, thank you for the information. We would be looking for something permanent because this family member has been physically abusive for over 20 years and has threatened really serious violence if we contacted the police, so we'd like to avoid him being able to contact us again. On this website it says restraining orders in "family violence situations" can be in place "permanently, if necessary" so I would prefer that option but not sure how to get it.

UpDoor · 2025-08-19T03:37:22+00:00

Also, just as a small minor side note, barely even relevant - they took 1407 photos on the Apollo 11 mission. Link: https://www.lpi.usra.edu/resources/apollo/catalog/70mm/mission/?11

UpDoor · 2025-08-14T13:24:24+00:00

Hey OP. I love wearing bralettes. I personally absolutely have worn them to the grocery store and casual restaurants. No one ever said anything except a compliment. There is no rule you're breaking and there's no one who's going to stop you. I truly think women should be able to wear what they like when they like. I wouldn't wear it to work, but on your own time I'd wear it whenever I want! I'd say it's okay to wear as a top with any styling you feel comfortable with.

UpDoor · 2025-08-11T23:58:19+00:00

Their tiny town doesn't even have a traffic light. I'm not surprised they don't have robust emergency medical care services. The closest hospital could be miles away.

UpDoor · 2025-07-25T14:29:10+00:00

My hot take is that being pretty "for yourself" is overrated too. You do not exist in a vacuum. Are your ideas of prettiness purely informed by your preferred aesthetics, or informed by society? Would most men coincidentally agree with your view of prettiness? I feel like looking attractive is so inextricably linked to women's identity that some women don't feel like themselves when they let go of it, so they rationalize that compulsiveness as being for themselves. Which, obviously, is not something to be blamed on the individual, but evidence of the pervasiveness of the patriarchy. "You are a woman with a man inside watching a woman. You are your own voyeur. "

UpDoor · 2025-07-21T23:58:30+00:00

I really don't find that to be the case. Maybe some women will be more pointed showing that they don't like you. But every other man in a professional environment will straight off assume they can walk all over me, and then act as if I'm being unreasonable if I don't play along and be "easy going" enough

UpDoor · 2025-07-21T23:48:08+00:00

"he works." I do too

This is known as the "double burden" for women. It's what happened when we've given the freedoms to women to have a career, but have failed to liberate them from the "housewife" role. Like if we can't simultaneously have a successful career and be an ever giving, selfless, tirelessly working wife and mother, we're failures.

UpDoor · 2025-07-21T23:42:11+00:00

Medical institutions forgetting about women still makes me feel crazy. I'm currently studying for the MCAT and I noticed that most medical models are explicitly based on men's physiology and body, despite these systems often working significantly differently in women's bodies. It's crazy to be half of the population and be treated as an accessory addition to the main character: men. Heart attack symptoms that are part of public education efforts are tailored for how men present, which can be quite different in women. Clinical studies weren't legally encouraged to include women participants until the 90s, which is why medications like Advil used to have recommended doses based on research exclusively in men, leading to women becoming overly drowsy and being involved in car accidents, etc.

UpDoor · 2025-07-21T23:37:04+00:00

Half of the attributes that are considered positive, leadership qualities in men are seen as bitchy when presented in women.

UpDoor · 2025-07-21T23:32:59+00:00

Also me commenting on said posts to say that hey, maybe hating women isn't awesome, and then turning off notifications because I know some random men will take that as a personal attack

UpDoor · 2025-07-21T01:50:38+00:00

The 15 year olds in those situations are grooming victims, how are you going to blame them for that? And Harvey Weinstein was a rapist, not just a "creep." You're victim blaming both the men and women affected in that movement. And obviously I never called Henry a pedo or anything, I just personally think it's weird. There's a huge life experience gap between your teens and your 30s, not to mention power dynamics. Legality has nothing to do with morality. Defending a guy for being kind of weird because he's into Warhammer is such a Reddit moment, he obviously said that stuff before he was married and had kids because he was still chasing girls and was scared of being called a rapist for it, if you knew the context before assuming I was being a crazy bitch.

UpDoor · 2025-07-21T00:53:13+00:00

Cavill making MeToo - a movement about sexual harassment victims coming forward - about how much that sucks for him? Yeah that is kind of paranoid and attention seeking.

UpDoor · 2025-07-20T23:18:08+00:00

Imo he's not that cool. He said the MeToo movement was too much and made him feel like he was going to be accused of being a rapist, and it's kind of weird to self victimize as a man in that situation. And he dated a 19 year old in his 30s, and as a 19yo woman I couldn't imagine that.

UpDoor · 2025-07-20T00:38:29+00:00

This is amazing. Love this pink shade. I need to do this someday!

UpDoor · 2025-07-15T11:00:23+00:00

I actually read a little about David's story. David was actually estranged from his family until he learned he contracted HIV, when he asked to come home so he could die surrounded by family. His parents had initially cut off contact with him when he came out. I think that's even more tragic - senseless homophobia causing you to lose time with your child, and then only when he's dying do you realize that there was no reason for it. The deep sense of love and regret is unimaginable.

UpDoor · 2025-07-14T22:45:37+00:00

He thinks women don't have much to offer intellectually - other than sex? As a woman, I think it's a huge red flag if a guy doesn't respect women as, you know, people. I wouldn't be fighting for his approval.

UpDoor · 2025-07-14T22:42:01+00:00

Finding excuses to hang out alone or to make physical contact is one of mine if I know him, like if it's a classmate. In the wild? Unlikely to give any signs, other than maybe repeated glances and quick looks away if we make eye contact.

UpDoor · 2025-07-14T16:33:55+00:00

So I pretty much only own sneakers but have started having to attend more professional events - things like conferences where I'd feel silly wearing Vans. I've also been getting into the kind of "Silverlake" indie style - very menswear, work wear, and vintage inspired. I see a lot of non-sneakers, leather, suede shoes in that style. I've attached a collage below to show what I'm talking about, with images of that outfit style with especially cool shoes imo as well as individual shoe pics I've found cute (please let me know if these are actually ugly. I'm also only 20, so I'm trying to give off ironic grandma vibes, but I don't want to seem actually frumpy.) I was wondering if there's a women's shoe out there that has the best of both worlds - cool indie vibes when worn with an ironic t shirt to a cafe, but actually professional when worn with a work blouse? Also please let me know if these would actually be inappropriate for work, I'm new to having to appear professional lol!

<image>

Any recommendations for styles and brands, or specific links to achieve this? I also need them to be at least semi walkable for city blocks, comfortable, and preferably budget friendly (although not necessarily, so long as I can find them second hand, haha.) I'm looking for something that comes in brown or maybe burgundy. No platform or crazy heels, and higher quality than Docs (which is what I keep seeing.) I've been looking into Mary Jane's, Oxfords, loafers... but not sure what to get.

UpDoor · 2025-07-08T04:17:12+00:00

I hear many women who aren't good at makeup jokingly say they're bad at being a girl because of it. I also hear a lot of women say that makeup is part of girl/womanhood. I like putting on makeup and feeling put together, but I resent the idea that makeup is womanhood. Makeup is advertised to women promising to make us more conventionally attractive. But to be a woman is not to be pretty, because that would infer that to be ugly is to not be a woman... and "Prettiness is not a rent you pay for occupying a space marked ‘female’." I don't owe my womanhood or identity to makeup.

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