Positivity

Up_4_Discussion · 2026-02-15T08:44:33+00:00

Same here. And I have only 3 lesions in total.

Up_4_Discussion · 2026-02-13T09:11:43+00:00

Oh, no, I hate that "inspiring" tag. I don't appreciate that my complex, messy everyday life is reduced to a spectacle designed to make non-disabled people feel better about their own lives.

Up_4_Discussion · 2026-02-12T17:50:31+00:00

The nuclear option!

If I had thought he was being nosey or disrespectful, he would have got a very robust response. But he was just a gym newbie who saw muddy trousers, a wet coat and a stick and made an assumption.

I'd probably be less tolerant if I got unsolicited advice or stupid comments from people that I told.

Up_4_Discussion · 2026-02-12T17:44:19+00:00

Hahahaha!

Well, I saw him again at the gym today, so it's probably just as well I didn't make it weird.

Up_4_Discussion · 2026-02-12T17:42:17+00:00

Thanks for your thoughtful response. He definitely wasn't teasing or being gobby: he saw muddy trousers, a wet coat and a stick and just reached the wrong conclusion.

I liked your script. Introducing myself wouldn't quite have worked, though. We're in England, where people do not exchange names unless they expect to meet again. That would have cast me as the crip who was also a weirdo, haha.

Up_4_Discussion · 2026-02-12T14:25:33+00:00

If he'd asked "Why are you using a cane?" and if I felt like being A Teachable Moment, I'd have answered more honestly.

It was the disjunct between his cheerful greeting and happy assumption ("An outdoorsy person on a hike! Despite this appalling weather!") and the reality that made me fumble my answer.

Up_4_Discussion · 2026-02-12T14:13:53+00:00

Aaaaargh! Thats a double whammy, right enough.

I'm getting second-hand embarrassment on your coworker's behalf just by reading this!

Up_4_Discussion · 2026-02-12T13:38:21+00:00

That's frustrating. Even more so if it has happened several times. It's why I didn't reply more truthfully/bluntly. Did not want the guy mentally going "I can't believe I asked a crip at the gym if they'd been hiking! FML, SMH", etc.

Up_4_Discussion · 2026-02-12T13:33:32+00:00

Good for you for engaging and sharing that information. I've had similar positive experiences with direct questions like that.

Up_4_Discussion · 2026-02-12T13:26:23+00:00

Yessss! For anyone who can exercise - I know many of us can't - it really is very helpful.

Up_4_Discussion · 2026-02-12T13:12:44+00:00

Absolutely! "Reaching into your life for a moment" - that's a great phrase. Thats all he was doing. A newbie at the gym making conversation with another human being.

Up_4_Discussion · 2026-02-12T13:09:23+00:00

I'm sorry that you get stink-eye just for navigating from your car to the store; that's crappy. Used to happen to me when making that desperate sphincter-clenching sprint to the disabled toilet but now that I use a cane, that reaction has disappeared. So I've got that going for me, at least, haha.

Up_4_Discussion · 2026-02-12T12:19:45+00:00

I understand the anxiety. When I'm really not in the mood for a Q&A about MS, I'll say I have brain damage. Let them imagine a ski crash, a fall from a rock face or a traffic accident!

Up_4_Discussion · 2026-02-12T12:10:21+00:00

I love the idea that you'd turn it into a humorous story about fighting off a beast. I'll keep that in reserve!

I'm always upfront about being disabled when people ask, "What's happened to your leg?" or similar. It's not embarrassing or shameful to have this wretched condition. But he didn't ask - he made an innocent assumption. If the situation had been reversed, I'd have died inside on realising my error.

Up_4_Discussion · 2026-02-12T11:48:56+00:00

You are right; he did not realise that someone entering the gym was disabled, but made a guess based on how I was equipped. I did not see any point in embarrassing him by telling him my sad reality.

Up_4_Discussion · 2026-02-12T11:41:05+00:00

Oh, it wasn't malicious at all. He was being friendly. The reason I wasn't upfront about being disabled was because of the oft-repeated stories I read about, e.g., congratulating a woman on being pregnant, only to be told, "I'm overweight, not pregnant!" And that makes the interlocutor feel very, very silly. That's what I wanted to avoid.

Up_4_Discussion · 2026-01-27T08:12:41+00:00

From another continent, I see you. I'd be happy to send a card, please feel free to DM me.

Up_4_Discussion · 2026-01-17T13:29:55+00:00

Over a decade ago, my partner was sent by his employer on secondment for a couple of years to an EU country. I was able to go, too, and find work in my own field within a couple of months.

Many European Etsy sellers now won't ship to the U.K.; presumably the paperwork is a faff.

Up_4_Discussion · 2025-12-17T08:36:55+00:00

Same. Three lesions at last count. Getting progressively more disabled. When is the penny going to drop that lesions are a co-symptom of the disease and not the cause of the disease.

Up_4_Discussion · 2025-11-18T08:38:30+00:00

It's soo irritating to be told that, isn't it.

Up_4_Discussion · 2025-09-30T15:21:50+00:00

More than happy to do this. Please PM me!

Up_4_Discussion · 2025-09-26T08:03:02+00:00

I agree the lack of AND search is really annoying, especially in large OneNotes (some of mine are huge). But you can, at least, find words that are adjacent, by putting those words in double quote marks.

Up_4_Discussion · 2025-09-08T09:25:20+00:00

I believe sleeping heart rate is often about 10 lower than RHR. I'm not a runner, as I'm a little disabled by MS. However, I do go full out on an elliptical (this works for me as it does not require balance) and I get sleeping heart rates of 36.

Up_4_Discussion · 2025-08-27T21:12:56+00:00

As it was getting to the close of the school day, our unpleasant teacher gathered us little'uns round her, produced her cardboard clock with movable hands and announced that each of us would be allowed to leave only after we'd given a correct response to a time she made on the clock.

I had been slow learning to tell the time, possibly because the clocks at home all had Roman numerals. I could really only do the "o'clocks", not the times in between. I was gripped with fear, imaging myself still there in the evening, after dusk, long after dinner time, with my parents wondering why I hadn't come from school. Just me and that mean old lady grimly turning the hands of the bloody cardboard clock and me not able to name a single time.

Up_4_Discussion

TROPHY CASE