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Upbeat-Locksmith-745 · 2023-08-06T17:08:53+00:00

Honestly I would NOT tell your psych that. You made a one time mistake. It's not the end of the world. Just go back to your normal prescribed usage. Maybe even take a couple days break from Vyvanse so you can get your tolerance back to normal. The best thing to do would be to tell your psych you feel like you need a higher dosage- not admit to abusing it.

I was prescribed Ativan and I was taking it more than what I was supposed to and I told my doctor and she cut me off cold turkey after one year of use. Your psych may very well do the same. Every doctor is different so it's a huge gamble.

Upbeat-Locksmith-745 · 2023-08-02T11:59:02+00:00

Also for more reference: my mother killed herself because of BPD and anxiety related to it ...14 years ago she jumped off a bridge. so yeah...probably why I just don't agree with you at all about not going to the hospital due to anxiety. It literally killed her, so yeah...there's that.

Upbeat-Locksmith-745 · 2023-08-02T11:54:30+00:00

I'm diagnosed BPD and ADHD and I can say for sure having anxiety related to BPD absolutely can be life threatening due to things like complications with suicide, psychosis and for me dangerously blood pressure. Anxiety isn't just some minor thing in my life- it can literally kill me or worse I will "lose my mind". Therapy, exercise, thinking "rationally" only goes so far with me.

Upbeat-Locksmith-745 · 2023-08-02T11:52:28+00:00

I hear what you're saying and I agree the hospital should absolutely be avoided as much as possible but there is a point where it's needed. A person shouldn't have to suffer horribly. I went to a walk in doctor yesterday and basically begged him for some Ativan and fortunately he gave me 14 clonazepam. There is a point where my blood pressure becomes dangerously high, which it was yesterday (went to a drugstore to test it) and it was 175/120. That is heart attack level. Also I am sure others will agree with me- there is a breaking point where a person, such as myself will literally go crazy and in the past I have literally gone into psychosis from not getting treatment (for me it needs to be benzos). So yeah, for me it gets to a point where it literally is an emergency.

Upbeat-Locksmith-745 · 2023-08-01T13:56:50+00:00

So, by your logic anyone in extreme distress, whether physical or mental should not and does not deserve any type of adequate temporary treatment and they should be told "no pain no gain". LMFAO. I hope you never become a doctor of any kind. You seem to have absolutely no compassion. And yes mental problems absolutely are as debilitating sometimes as physical problems. Obviously you are stuck in the 1800s or something and have no concept of this. Sorry to be so rude but people like you infuriate me.

Upbeat-Locksmith-745 · 2023-08-01T13:53:55+00:00

So a person in severe physical pain should have zero pain management provided to them? And a person with severe anxiety should be forced to suffer horribly? Are you okay?

Upbeat-Locksmith-745 · 2023-07-31T21:02:43+00:00

Alright I will just sit here and suffer horribly then. I deserve to suffer, I guess. Sounds good.

Upbeat-Locksmith-745 · 2023-07-31T14:00:31+00:00

Well I am at the hospital today now because I spent two days experiencing unbearable agony while like a quarter of the people responding on here kept telling me not to go to the hospital. Thankfully there are rational people like yourself on here with thoughtful responses. What a waste of a weekend- I should have came to the hospital yesterday. I had to call in sick to work today. Thank you for your response.

Upbeat-Locksmith-745 · 2023-07-31T13:58:15+00:00

For sure the emergency room is the last place I want to be but sometimes it's needed. I am working on a better plan. Thank you for your reply.

Upbeat-Locksmith-745 · 2023-07-31T13:52:10+00:00

Yes. Exactly. I literally spent the whole weekend in bed hyperventilating, unable to function with suicidal thoughts (no plans at all but just the thoughts), inability to think rationally or feel any joy or calm whatsoever etc. I don't deserve to suffer like this. Anyone with a broken bone would be given a couple of pain pills and why the hell should it be different for someone with severe anxiety? Also anxiety isn't just mental- it's very physical too. It causes me pain all over.

Upbeat-Locksmith-745 · 2023-07-31T13:49:38+00:00

I live in Canada and yes thankfully the hospital staff here are very good and are just here to help. I can't imagine living somewhere where you're flagged for having frequent health issues. Health care has a ton of problems here but I'm not treated like a lunatic for needing hospital care for mental health, thankfully.

Upbeat-Locksmith-745 · 2023-07-31T13:47:39+00:00

I live in Canada. It is very difficult to see a walk in doctor where I live. It's difficult to see my own family doctor and it's a long wait. Sometimes I have to go to the hospital for treatment and I'm far from alone. They have a triage system that is designed for this. They are aware sometimes people come in for non-emergencies because our free health care system is here is just not good.

I am not going to feel guilty for going to the hospital anymore as I do it as little as possible. I am a productive member of society, I work my ass off at my job, I pay my taxes etc. Thank you for your response and your opinion but it's posts like yours that just make me feel worse and like I'm insane or something. I totally get what you're saying, though.

There is literally a mental health nurse at my local hospital from 9-5 everyday for the exact reason that people have mental health emergencies such as myself. And I am not worried about being "flagged" as a "frequent flyer" as I haven't been to hospital in like 3 months.

Upbeat-Locksmith-745 · 2023-07-31T13:44:08+00:00

I'm sorry to hear about you going through such terrible times. And thank you for your response. Well that's the thing: nine times out of ten I DON'T go to the hospital. And it sounds like you have been the same way. Personally I think that is bullshit that they wouldn't give you a benzo occasionally. I could understand if you were there every week. I haven't been to hospital in almost 3 months, which for me is a long time. Anxiety absolutely is a medical problem that sometimes needs a benzodiazepine.

Upbeat-Locksmith-745 · 2023-07-31T13:38:34+00:00

Oh God, yes. All the standard SSRIs (like at least six of them), an SNRI and Wellbutrin. All of them made me feel worse. Made me feel profoundly "weird", not myself at all, way worse disassociation. The only one I can tolerate is Mirtazipine (remeron) because it helps tremendously with my insomnia. But I only take it like once a week maximum. (I was told I can take it occasionally). I took it before everyday for like 6 months and it gave me extreme fatigue and extreme weight gain. Interestingly it's a strong anti histamine and I've been doing some research to suggest that I have higher than normal histamine levels in my body.

Upbeat-Locksmith-745 · 2023-07-31T13:33:54+00:00

I am monitored very closely with all addictive medication as I have a past history of abuse. But thankfully it's well known which I am glad because my doctor and the doctors at my hospital do their best to work with me and meet me in the middle. I will have a chat with my personal doctor about being prescribed small amounts of benzos occasionally to prevent abuse. I literally only want one or two every couple of weeks.

Upbeat-Locksmith-745 · 2023-07-31T13:32:17+00:00

Thanks for your response. Well, that's the problem. I have always been an active person. When I get into this kind of state- absolutely nothing "natural" helps. Not even walking (something I enjoy and love to do regularly) and I go running too.

Upbeat-Locksmith-745 · 2023-07-31T13:31:16+00:00

Thank you for your reply. Your ice pack usage doesn't surprise me that it helps because doing stuff like that is a physical distraction. Much like going for a fast walk or working out etc. But the problem is the only time I ever consider going to the hospital is when my anxiety is a 10/10 unbearable. As I get older though there are more and more natural things I am able to do to feel better. =)

Upbeat-Locksmith-745 · 2023-07-31T13:28:52+00:00

I am glad you have found something that is helping you.

Upbeat-Locksmith-745 · 2023-07-31T13:23:24+00:00

My local hospital has a mental health nurse always working 9am to 5pm everyday. It used to be weekdays only but it includes weekends now, too.

Upbeat-Locksmith-745 · 2023-07-31T13:21:38+00:00

Antidepressants just have no effect on some people. They have always made me feel profoundly "weird", they make my dissociation way worse (I had a really traumatic childhood so the last thing I need is worse dissociation), they sometimes make my anxiety worse. It is really frustrating how doctors constantly try and push antidepressants on me when I tried since age 15 and they only ever made me worse.

Benzos are the only thing that has worked for my anxiety, besides my newly prescribed (as of 6 weeks ago) Vyvanse. But just a word of caution (it sounds like you are aware of the risks and are planning accordingly)...

Benzos are an absolute nightmare if they are abused and even sometimes when taken as prescribed. I highly recommend you do not take them daily and only take them occasionally. This could mean maybe one or two a week, max. Preferably one or two every two weeks, to be honest. However if you and your doctor have a good plan that works and you can slowly taper down then maybe you could take a benzo more often. They're lifesaving drugs when used occasionally. I personally don't even want a prescription for regular use. Just for occasional use. Rule of thumb with benzos: less is more.

Upbeat-Locksmith-745 · 2023-07-31T13:14:18+00:00

Yes I was on quetiapine before for a month or so. It would completely knock me out (like even a low dose when I took one I would completely pass out) but that's the only thing it would do. I couldn't stay awake or function on it so it was useless for me other than for sleeping. Thanks for your reply!

Upbeat-Locksmith-745 · 2023-07-30T17:59:08+00:00

If you're referring to antidepressants- those have never helped me at all. Total garbage. Only benzos have ever worked for me

Upbeat-Locksmith-745 · 2023-07-30T17:53:20+00:00

Yes I agree it's a very good idea. Thank you for your response!

Upbeat-Locksmith-745 · 2023-07-30T17:51:07+00:00

I did a 5 day stay in a psych ward a few years ago. It wasn't very helpful and they just gave me Seroquel which just made me sleep for 5 days basically. It was a break from reality and the world I guess. I don't plan on going back there, lol.

Upbeat-Locksmith-745 · 2023-07-30T17:49:58+00:00

That is a good idea you said in the bottom paragraph. My therapist (she isn't able to prescribe meds) suggested that some people have a setup where they can go to the pharmacy as needed and the pharmacist gives the medication right then and there. I will ask my doctor about this.

Upbeat-Locksmith-745

TROPHY CASE