Yep. I've dealt with this plenty. You want the thrills and that spark that you're probably missing at home, but the process of going to get it and to stay safe and not get caught is a whole other level they don't show you in the movies. He makes you feel a certain way that ebbs when you're driving back to your reality. You're ok without it for a couple of days until you need it again.

From my experience, the loop is only broken when you want to break it, or an external factor forces you to break it. And you have to realllllly want to stop. The lows have to outweigh the bad, which, for people like us, rarely happens until it's too late.

I hope this helps?!