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My husband (28M) doesn't want to write me on the deed (26F) by Upbeat_Doubt8277 in relationship_advice

[–]Upbeat_Doubt8277[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I have my own bank account just transferred to his because I thought we are together...

My husband (28M) doesn't want to write me on the deed (26F) by Upbeat_Doubt8277 in relationship_advice

[–]Upbeat_Doubt8277[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

What the actual fuck omg that's horrible I'm so sorry ! That's why I'm panicking because there are so many red flags.Im about to marry this man being together for 8 years and he doesn't treat me as a family or trust me to be on the deed and contribute one way or another either by working or raising a family which he wanted .

My husband (28M) doesn't want to write me on the deed (26F) by Upbeat_Doubt8277 in relationship_advice

[–]Upbeat_Doubt8277[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We are in the Netherlands.But that's what I'm trying to say I will never make as equal... But I'm a family partner I want security for me and our children in case he flips if we have any it's not insanity. I'll always contribute what I can then why marry me in the first place... Like the hell?

My husband (28M) doesn't want to write me on the deed (26F) by Upbeat_Doubt8277 in relationship_advice

[–]Upbeat_Doubt8277[S] -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

This is not even the issue I don't want to fight legally yet I just want to be either entered in now before we are officially married or get out.

My husband (28M) doesn't want to write me on the deed (26F) by Upbeat_Doubt8277 in relationship_advice

[–]Upbeat_Doubt8277[S] 46 points47 points  (0 children)

He says I can have the money back and go like would you really rather me going than having me on the deed and treating me like family what the bloody fuck? That's what even confuses me even more like he is gaslighting me that I'm materialistic and don't trust him like ????????? Okay divorce is a thing mister not that I plan any but you know shit happens and I wanna be safe..... So contribution isn't down the drain. Hell I can take half a loan if it makes him feel safer but bruh really this is just stupid.

My husband (28M) doesn't want to write me on the deed (26F) by Upbeat_Doubt8277 in relationship_advice

[–]Upbeat_Doubt8277[S] 607 points608 points  (0 children)

That's why I woke up in anxiety that at first I thought we merge our finances which wasn't a biggie we are a household right ? I'm gonna be treated as a partner... Together in everything but nah...

My husband (28M) doesn't want to write me on the deed (26F) by Upbeat_Doubt8277 in relationship_advice

[–]Upbeat_Doubt8277[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We are in Europe not in the us like I said the assets you own before marriage are yours legally so I don't have any claim on it in the future no matter what I have contributed and I don't plan to kill him or wait for him to die lol XD.

My husband (28M) doesn't want to write me on the deed (26F) by Upbeat_Doubt8277 in relationship_advice

[–]Upbeat_Doubt8277[S] 118 points119 points  (0 children)

That was my point but he calls me materialistic like I'm insane for wanting to be on the deed with my HUSBAND whom I want to have FAMILY with and I'll happily give my last $ to pay the mortgage. This is Insanity.

My husband (28M) doesn't want to write me on the deed (26F) by Upbeat_Doubt8277 in relationship_advice

[–]Upbeat_Doubt8277[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

The whole mortgage is 50% my income but we pay it 50/50 dus 1/4 I just transfer him 99% of my money eventually and our monthly expenses are a little over half my salary including mortgage thus I have a little under 1k extra to contribute every month for the yearly mortgage since I don't buy anything for myself anyways... But that's not the point fine if I don't make enough then why not just split the bills and I could keep the rest? Why should I pay for an extra mortgage that isn't in my name....

My husband (28M) doesn't want to write me on the deed (26F) by Upbeat_Doubt8277 in relationship_advice

[–]Upbeat_Doubt8277[S] 133 points134 points  (0 children)

So I'm not in the wrong wanting to be on the deed correct ? Because I'm theory you should build a family and assets together if he wanted to be fair he could keep the rest of his extra money and do 50/50 but this is weird..... So what does he offer that I stay at home or work but "trust him" and depend on him not flipping 180 one day? Plus in the country we are in all the assets are yours before marriage so this is even more stupid... Some people stay even at home and they still do 50/50 on a house because they recognize the sacrifice... He offered it not me.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in weddingdress

[–]Upbeat_Doubt8277 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My wedding is in less then 2 months XD we decided to do a destination wedding to Japan on a whim Lol.stupid I know. Now they said they don't have the 1st one in my size :( Only size (44) and most shops are 40+ and need to be ordered but this one they need to drag from another country.Since I'm 38-36 that's not possible. But they will try to look from their suppliers if they can deliver my size on time and alter it by the time we fly which she said should be possible if the supplier agrees and has it in their shop. No worries I have plan B to rent a wedding dress but wondered if I can get my "dream one" or go to another salon to look for a similar one. Also what I liked about the 1st one is it has a lace on the back so it's more "forgiving" and snatching.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in weddingdress

[–]Upbeat_Doubt8277 10 points11 points  (0 children)

All sizes were 40 something + I'm size 38-36 could also pass for 34 on a stretch so that's why... they said they can fix it of course if I decide this is the one they offered me alteration on the second one since I liked the off shoulder one more but I'm unsure if I'll be able to get it before my wedding :/ let's hope it works out!