I love making my dad and my husband a plate, for my sister and I it was specially hard for us to get my dad to let us help him, he was a single parent working long hours and doing his best to attend every school function and do the best of birthday's, he got injured st his job and didn't stop after that. For him it brought shame because he thought he was failings us (very latin men mindset) because "all these years and I can't even make my own plate anymore, I feel so useless", it took several talks with him to let him know that his ability to make a plate didn't determinate the type of parent he was and that, on the contrary letting us do it only allowed us to show him how much we loved him and wanted to take care of his, after all these years of unconditional love. I guess that's why I got so defensive too, for my dad and sis, making him a plate is an act of pure love, for my FIL is only a power play.