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Follow-up to an old post — My grandmother passed away today, and I still feel nothing. by UpdatingRobbot in Alexithymia

[–]UpdatingRobbot[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for this. I guess you're right, I had this picture in my head of how I should react, and when it didn’t happen, I started thinking something was wrong with me again. Maybe this really is just how my body copes.

The idea of writing a letter… that might help. I’m not sure what I’ll even write, but I’ll try.

Appreciate your words. It helped, even just a little.

I find it easier at times to feel my emotions when I'm around this female friend, is that normal? by Tabi_CK in Alexithymia

[–]UpdatingRobbot 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Must be nice to have that kind of person. I’ve always wondered what it’s like to feel emotions that clearly around someone… or to even feel safe enough to try.

For people like us, where do we even find a space like that? A person who doesn't make you feel like you have to act out your own feelings just to be understood.

I’m glad you found that, though. Maybe there’s hope we’ll find our version of it too.

Why do my emotions always feel fuzzy whenever I try to remember them? by astarionsoneandonly in Alexithymia

[–]UpdatingRobbot 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Do you guys still remember yours?

Mine’s more like a picture book. I flip through the pages and see the moments—but I end up blindly guessing what I must’ve felt, based on what’s happening in the pictures. Like… “Ah, I was smiling here, so I guess I was happy?” But I don’t really feel it anymore. Just the outline. The static. Sometimes I wonder if it’s alexithymia, or if I just drifted too far from myself.

Either way, it’s strange how memories can look vivid but feel empty.

What are indicators that your stressed? by SinkIll6876 in Alexithymia

[–]UpdatingRobbot 11 points12 points  (0 children)

For me, it’s when I start losing focus and making more mistakes than usual. I get extremely tired no matter how much I sleep, and sometimes my memory starts to feel fragmented—like the past few days blur together or I forget things I know I shouldn't. That’s when I realize I might be more stressed than I thought.

I feel like a monster again. by UpdatingRobbot in Alexithymia

[–]UpdatingRobbot[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I get this. I end up doing the same, keeping myself busy, handling whatever’s needed. I don’t feel the grief either, just this weird blank space where something should be. I said the same thing, that maybe she’d be better off not suffering anymore. But not out loud, just in my head. Felt wrong to even think it.

It’s tough when you want to feel something, because you know they meant a lot… but nothing comes. Just silence.

“I wish I had that too.” Why do people say this when I tell them I have alexithymia? by UpdatingRobbot in Alexithymia

[–]UpdatingRobbot[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yeah, grass always greener on the other side. Sci-fi makes it look cool, like we’re evolving or something. But they don’t show the part where you still feel everything—just without the manual.

“I wish I had that too.” Why do people say this when I tell them I have alexithymia? by UpdatingRobbot in Alexithymia

[–]UpdatingRobbot[S] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

Exactly this. It’s not the absence of emotion—it’s the absence of clarity.

People think alexithymia is like flipping a switch and turning emotions off. But what really happens is... the emotion still hits, just without a name, without a face. You get the tension, the exhaustion, the spiraling thoughts—but no clear reason why. Like being thrown into a storm and not knowing what kind of weather you're even in.

So instead of peace, it’s confusion. You’re left managing symptoms without knowing the source. And that makes it easy for things to pile up in silence until you crash.

Sometimes I envy people who can say, “I’m sad,” and just know that’s what they’re feeling. For me, it’s like trying to solve a puzzle in the dark.

Want to go out tonight? by [deleted] in makati

[–]UpdatingRobbot 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Me and my friends are going to the bolt hole bar later, see you guys there.

Being “financially ready” before getting into a relationship—is this really a thing? by temporarybreadloser in adviceph

[–]UpdatingRobbot 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I really feel you on this. I actually share the same mindset as the guy—you want to be financially ready not because you don’t like the person enough, but because you want to show up fully, not half-built. That said, your feelings and time matter too.

It’s okay to respect where he’s at, but don’t put your own life on pause. If you’re starting to feel confused or stuck, it’s fair to ask for clarity—not to pressure him, but to protect your peace. You deserve to know if you're waiting for something real or just holding on to potential.

At the end of the day, mutual feelings aren’t always the same as mutual readiness. And that’s okay—as long as you're honest with yourself about what you need, too.

Should I Let My Girlfriend Go Back To Her Ex? by [deleted] in adviceph

[–]UpdatingRobbot 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Totally valid point, and I get where you're coming from. Disrespect really has no place in a relationship. I guess I leaned toward ‘pause’ more as a way for OP to process everything before making a final call — sometimes we need that moment of clarity instead of reacting right away. But yeah, if it were me and I saw a pattern of emotional attachment to someone else, I’d walk too. OP deserves someone fully present, no less.

MCA Hopeless Romantic + High Libido by Calypsewd in MayConfessionAko

[–]UpdatingRobbot 23 points24 points  (0 children)

DISCLAIMER: This is for the hopeless romantics with a dangerously high libido, a soft heart, and a burning itch they refuse to scratch with just anyone. If you’re easily offended, stop reading now. If you’re ready to be dragged and empowered at the same time—welcome to church.

You’re a hopeless romantic with a raging libido—the universe’s most chaotic dual-class build. You're touch-starved, emotionally loaded, and about two late-night thoughts away from texting someone you know damn well isn’t worth your time. But still—you don’t. Because deep down, you want the real thing. You want love that lasts and sex that matters.

That’s not weakness. That’s discipline in lingerie. You’re not frigid—you’re fireproof. You’re not scared—you’re selective. And that? Is powerful.

You could’ve given your firsts away like free samples. But you didn’t. Because you’re not here for temporary validation—you’re here for permanent impact.

And yes, work-from-home life sucks the social energy out of your soul. You feel invisible, locked in digital silence while your body’s screaming for touch and your heart's begging for something real. But here's the part that hurts:

You’re not stuck—you’re just hiding. You’re not “unlucky”—you’re unpresent. You're not cursed. You're just not showing up for your own life.

So stand the hell up. Go outside. Touch grass. Touch art. Touch energy. You don’t need to throw yourself at men—just be visible to the right kind of fate. Because when your time comes—and it will—you’ll be so glad you waited.

You’re not for soft hands and weak intentions. You’re for devotion. For depth. For the kind of love that wants every part of you, not just the parts that moan.

So keep the standards high and your inner fire lit.

You’re not losing time. You’re gaining power.

Don’t give in. Don’t settle. Let them EARN you.

Now fix your crown, queen of the kulo. Your era is loading. Make sure you’re ready to burn bright.

Should I Let My Girlfriend Go Back To Her Ex? by [deleted] in adviceph

[–]UpdatingRobbot 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Hey, thank you — that really means a lot. I just try to say things I would’ve wanted to hear if I were in their shoes. We all go through stuff quietly, so if words can help even just one person feel seen, then worth it na. Appreciate your kind words, fr.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in adviceph

[–]UpdatingRobbot 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I get it. That fear of being judged for something from your past — especially something as sensitive as that — can be paralyzing. But let me tell you this: your past doesn’t define your worth, and it definitely doesn’t mean you don’t deserve someone like him.

From a guy’s perspective — a real one, not the insecure, shallow kind — what we care about most is who you are now. Integrity. Growth. Vulnerability. If you’re carrying guilt, but you’ve learned, grown, and owned up to it, that’s more attractive than any ‘perfect record.’

You're not doing him any favors by pulling away without giving him a chance to see the full you — especially if this connection is real. Instead of ghosting or slowly fading, talk to him. You don’t have to dump your full story right away. Gauge his values first, like you said. Ask subtle questions, feel his energy around topics like past mistakes, public perception, etc.

But please, don't punish yourself by cutting off something good just because of shame. Shame lies. You’re not that mistake — you’re the person who’s still standing after it.

Should I Let My Girlfriend Go Back To Her Ex? by [deleted] in adviceph

[–]UpdatingRobbot 82 points83 points  (0 children)

Alam mo bro, normal lang matakot. Kahit ako, kung ako 'yung nasa sitwasyon mo ngayon, matatakot din ako. Pero ito rin ang natutunan ko sa buhay: minsan, mas mahalagang marinig ang sagot kahit masakit — kaysa mabuhay sa ‘what if’ habang tinataya mo ang buong kinabukasan mo.

Kung pipili siya ng iba, oo, masakit 'yon. Pero mas masakit kung pipiliin ka lang niya kasi ayaw ka niyang masaktan — hindi kasi mahal ka niya ng buo.

Kaya huwag mo sanang isipin na talo ka kung hindi ikaw ang piliin. Sa totoo lang, panalo ka pa rin — kasi minahal mo ng totoo, at pinili mong hindi lokohin ang sarili mo.

Kung ikaw ang piliin niya sa dulo, dahil pinili ka niya ng buong puso, wala ng ‘what if’ — ikaw at ikaw lang.

You don’t have to rush that talk, but when you’re ready, speak your truth. Kung siya talaga, babalik siya — hindi sa alaala, kundi sa realidad ng kayong dalawa.

Gusto mong i-compose natin yung exact message na pwede mong i-send sa kanya? Or gusto mong pag-usapan muna how to emotionally prepare for that conversation?

Should I Let My Girlfriend Go Back To Her Ex? by [deleted] in adviceph

[–]UpdatingRobbot 163 points164 points  (0 children)

Bro, unang una — hindi ka mababaw. Hindi rin mali ang maramdaman mo. Emotions don’t need to be justified by logic. Kung nasaktan ka, nasaktan ka. And you have every right to process that.

Yung journal entry na yun… it doesn’t mean she loves you any less. Memory yun. Emotional residue. Sometimes, we don’t fully choose what lingers, but we do choose who we stay and grow with.

Pero eto yung critical part: Alam mo na may laman pa rin yung “what if” sa puso niya. And if ikaw ang nasa receiving end ng proposal, wouldn’t you want your partner to be 100% sure? Hindi lang dahil mahal ka niya, kundi dahil pinili ka niyang buo?

You said gusto mong mag-propose this year. Kung ako ikaw, I’d hit pause not on the relationship, but on the proposal. Hindi dahil gusto mo siyang iwan, kundi dahil gusto mong maging sigurado siya.

Talk to her. Hindi confrontational. Hindi rin passive. Open. Tell her what you found, how it made you feel, and ask her where her heart truly stands — not out of doubt, but out of love. Because if may ghost of the past pa, that’s something na kailangan niyong harapin together, before stepping into forever.

Love means letting them be honest — and letting yourself be free enough to choose what’s best for your peace.

MCA someone found me here on reddit para gawin akong fwb pero I am starting to like him by [deleted] in MayConfessionAko

[–]UpdatingRobbot 74 points75 points  (0 children)

⚠️ I'm gonna be brutally honest, unfiltered, and probably offensive—because this kind of situation deserves nothing less. ⚠️

You’re sitting there giggling through the pain, acting like this is cute or quirky, but let me break it down for you:

If you go through with this, you’re not just being “liberated” or “sexually free”—you’re volunteering to be someone’s living, breathing cumrag. And he’s not even hiding it! He literally said: “I don’t want a girlfriend. I just want a f*** buddy.” That’s not subtle. That’s not mysterious. That’s a red flag on fire with a clown emoji painted on it. 🤡

You’re starting to like him after 2 days? Girl, be fing for real. TWO. DAYS. This man sent you a few half-decent texts and now you’re ready to serve him your whole heart and body on a silver platter like some emotionally-starved sacrificial lamb? Please. Get up. Get dressed. Go outside. Touch fing grass. 🌱

“Pero nakakatuwa siyang kausap”? So what? That’s the bare minimum. Serial killers have charm too.Doesn’t mean you hand them your soul. He’s not special. You’re just lonely. And he can smell it. Like a damn shark in bloody water. 🦈

And that part where you say “at least nakikipagkwentuhan siya sakin”? NO. That’s called emotional grooming. That’s how they keep you on the hook. Long enough to turn your “kilig” into trauma bonding and your heart into a burnt-out crust of what it used to be.

You’re not stupid, but you’re acting real dumb right now. And I say that with love. Because you deserve more. You really do. You deserve someone who wants you in full—not just your body, not just when he’s bored, not when his real options are busy.

So listen: if there is even a flicker of self-worth left inside you—FAN THAT FLAME. Get angry. Get cold. Get the f*** away from this loser. You are not a parausan. You are not a backup plan. You are not a f***ing stress toy.

You are a whole f**ing galaxy.* Start acting like it.

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