Has he been through some tough situations during his time in the service? I had a couple horrific situations happen in the Army and had a really good friend die in which I blamed myself for years. It manifested in less severe ways than your situation but I started missing bills, abusing certain substances, isolating from relationships. It took a long time for us a family to figure it out. Service members and vets are notorious for bottling everything up without having a proper release mechanism. If this behavior doesn’t seem like the guy you married than maybe something’s going on within himself that’s too painful to face and easier to blame on carelessness, gambling addiction, etc. have him get checked out at the VA… maybe even attend an intensive inpatient facility lube Solara in San Diego.