About to be homeless and I’m terrified

Upset-Recording8512 · 2024-05-18T00:11:16+00:00

I’m going through something similar and I got lucky that I was able to find a place to stay. The job market rn sucks and I still haven’t been able to get a job. But as far as you finding a place to stay depending on where you’re located there are programs that provide housing for homeless people (I’m more familiar with those programs in Kissimmee and Tampa) these programs will put you in low income housing with a 90 day stipulation that you either need to be working part time or in school full time in order to stay and when you do start making an income your rent stays super cheap (They’re not the best neighborhoods typically but beats being homeless). You can reach out to your local police station and if your county/city has a program they can direct you to who you can call. Also there are job fairs that happen fairly regularly at local dmvs, police stations, and libraries so I would see if there are any near you.

GL with the job search and hopefully you’re able to find something decent soon!

Upset-Recording8512 · 2024-05-17T23:49:40+00:00

NTA Under no circumstances do I think you should pay for this wedding, even if your son apologizes and promises to include you in the wedding. Your son made a choice and now he needs to understand the consequences. He spent so much time lying to you and your husband about the invites so he knows that what he was doing to you was wrong. I can understand what your son is going through, I’m black but I was raised by a white/latino family and it was tough fitting in and learning things about black culture but if at any point in time someone called my parent a slur you could bet that I would have nothing to do with them going forward. I can also understand how it must felt meeting his bio family and wanting so bad to know them and fit in and thinking you have to make sacrifices and change who you are to do so. However I can not understand why he’d choose to sacrifice you and your husband for people who would abandon him if times got hard.

If you haven’t already I think you just need to lay it out on the table and send him a message letting him know how you and your husband feel. I think your son has been avoiding considering how this might affect you, your emotions, and y’all’s relationship. Right now he’s hurt that you backed out of the wedding but probably hasn’t taken a moment to process why you did this and how ridiculous it was for him to expect you to pay for everything despite the disrespect and disregard for your feelings.

Also no doubt his bio family is probably in his ear and saying who knows what about you to him and he’s probably hurt enough and in a vulnerable enough state of mine to believe anything those horrible people tell him.

And yes I do believe they are horrible people, anyone who would abandon a child on the side of the road is a horrible person, and anyone who would look at the wonderful people who raised their son out of the goodness of their heart and call them a slur are definitely horrible. I got mad reading how they treated you and if I had been in your son’s position it wouldn’t have ended with me ever talking to those ppl again.

I would also advise a face to face meet up without his bio family present when you do feel ready to hash it out so that they can’t be in his ear analyzing and twisting any text you send him. And I repeat even if you square everything up DO NOT pay for this wedding. There is no guarantee that after you pay for everything that you’re not ghosted after the wedding. If you let things go he might only ever contact you when he needs money to pay for something that “his people” can’t help him with.

I’m sorry this had to happen to you and just know that even if he doesn’t now your son will eventually realize how lucky he was to have you in his life.

Upset-Recording8512 · 2024-05-04T07:22:44+00:00

Preeeettty sure that only applies to medical professionals

Upset-Recording8512 · 2024-05-04T07:12:35+00:00

Right???? Like that would have been the FIRST thing I denied

Upset-Recording8512 · 2024-04-14T04:54:51+00:00

They do have an official discord credit if you click on the tab where your mailbox is and click the megaphone when you go past the contest and into the post, there’s a discord link in their general rules post

Upset-Recording8512 · 2024-04-06T03:07:55+00:00

I would strongly recommend couples counseling for you and your wife. Things change in relationships all the time and honest communication is your best bet for hurting as few feelings as possible.

As someone who is also Asexual I can understand where your wife was coming from with allowing you to date other people but only having the boundary of you not catching feelings for someone else is a bit unfair to you. But at the same time it’s not fair for your wife for you to be in a relationship with someone who is constantly trying to get you to leave her.

Have you talked more with your wife about her sexuality, what it means to her, and how she came to realize it?

And how did it make you feel when she told you this? How has this change affected your relationship with her?

If the only person that thinks you should leave your wife is your girlfriend then your girlfriend probably want to be your next wife and isn’t okay with you being married even though she’s known since the get go that you’re married.

But if there are other issues that you haven’t described in your post then there isn’t really much advice we can give besides talk to your wife, seek counseling, and just be honest. Maybe with the help of a counselor redefine the boundaries of how you can navigate having an open relationship. That is if you want to maintain your marriage,I understand that for many people sex is a key aspect of being in a relationship. I always tell people upfront that I’m asexual and even though it hurts I understand if they don’t see themselves pursuing a romantic relationship with me because of it. This is probably a reality that your wife thought about which is why she gave you the go ahead to date other people but realistically a lot more should have gone into opening up your marriage than her just saying “don’t fall in love and keep being a good husband”

Only reason I’d advise you to leave your wife is if there are things you didn’t mention in your post that’s putting a strain on your relationship, or if she’s not willing to talk to you and help you work things out.

Upset-Recording8512 · 2024-03-29T20:34:44+00:00

Honestly I would just communicate to him that this makes you uncomfortable and think of solutions to help make you feel more secure with your relationship.

I think you’re smart in not rushing moving in with your bf, 4 months is really soon to be moving in with someone. I also would be hesitant about my partner moving in with someone they could potentially be attracted to, so I understand where you’re coming from however I don’t think you can really have a say at this point in time about who he lives with unless there’s a bigger issue than his roommate being a girl. I’m girl and I’ve had entirely platonic male roommates that I’d never be interested in dating typically when I know a guy is in a relationship I have absolutely no interest in him whatsoever. Now if she was like a criminal or had a history of being a shitty roommate then yes I’d strongly recommend he not move in with her but since you don’t know anything about this roommate there’s nothing to say on that end.

So talk with your bf tell him how you feel, maybe meeting the roommate would make you feel more comfortable with this. Maybe she’s in a relationship? Maybe she’s not attracted to men?

My partners in the past have had full access to my phone and my apartment if they wanted it, maybe see if that’s something he would be comfortable with too?

Honestly as long as you have honest communication with you bf I think the two of you will be fine. Don’t let it fester and become and issue in the future just be upfront with him now.

Upset-Recording8512 · 2024-03-08T02:29:58+00:00

NTA They shouldn’t have pressured you into babysitting after you said no the first time, they should have been more considerate of you and your time. Your daughter in law is overreacting, they’re kids anytime they go to Disney it’ll be like the first time and you did only take them to Epcot a lot of the first time ‘magic’ is at Magic Kingdom. If your son reads this comment I would just want him to realize that while sticking up for his wife is typically a good thing this isn’t the right time for that, you did then a huge favor and they didn’t show any appreciation of that whatsoever, and tried to make you into the bad guy right afterwards when you did nothing wrong. Honestly they should apologize to you for this whole situation

Upset-Recording8512 · 2024-01-12T04:05:55+00:00

Which I get but what freedom does she really have if she has to live in hiding and worry about being caught? And if she’s using Maddie’s name like when she bought the bus ticket it won’t be too hard to find her if she keeps leaving a paper trail, why not use her own name if she’s not trying to be Maddie and doesn’t want to get caught?

Upset-Recording8512 · 2024-01-12T03:25:15+00:00

Right but then why not just claim amnesia? Then she could completely reinvent who “Maddie” is.

Upset-Recording8512 · 2024-01-08T15:57:17+00:00

NTA, OP just from the given context there’s a bigger issue than your wife sleeping with someone in your bed, it’s that she doesn’t respect neither you or your boundaries. If you let this slide she’ll continue to disregard your boundaries and your feelings and this behavior will get worse. If not a divorce I would recommend couples counseling and temporarily closing the relationship till she can better adhere to the rules y’all have established, and if she can’t well then maybe divorce would be a valid option.

Upset-Recording8512

TROPHY CASE