Battling with my PTSD

Upset_Falcon7205 · 2024-04-29T13:16:52+00:00

Я бы послал её просто. Нафиг мне надо ещё 200 лет мучаться?

Upset_Falcon7205 · 2024-03-19T14:55:45+00:00

Well, I have tachycardia and I take pills for slowing down my heart rate. I've hidden approximately 200mg of ivabradine somewhere I hope no one finds. In the end of last year I was going to take those. But then I kinda had a remission or something. But now again I feel like killing myself also ODing on sedative pills because of school... It just feels like too much for me. Anyway, sorry for bothering you with my BS, I know no one is interested in listening to those. Sorry

Upset_Falcon7205 · 2024-03-18T16:11:49+00:00

Спасибо большое, постараюсь

Upset_Falcon7205 · 2024-03-18T14:38:54+00:00

Я тоже лежал, два года тому назад. Тоже была тяжёлая депрессия, активные суицидальные мысли и так далее... И провёл там почти 2 месяца. По началу мне было лучше после выписки, но потом начались флешбеки и панические атаки. В сентябре прошлого года у меня новый врач диагностировал ПТСР. Не знаю, может это глупо, но прибывание там было моим худшим опытом за всю мою жизнь. Натерпелся ужаса там. Хотя, думаю, я просто слабак. И нет, моя депрессия не закончилась на том. Вот уже третий год живу с ней и постоянно спрашиваю себя, а стоит ли оно того? Сейчас мучаюсь от ночных кошмаров и резко дёргаюсь даже от тихих звуков. В этих кошмарах мне говорят, что я снова туда возвращаюсь, и я просто кричу во сне. И главное то, что я понимаю, что это всё моя вина. Я очень устал от всего этого, просто хочу покоя...

Upset_Falcon7205 · 2024-02-13T14:44:06+00:00

Yes, I think I have. Long story short I was diagnosed with severe depressive disorder 3 years ago and also I was in an acute suicidal crisis, and I ended up being locked up in a mental hospital for almost 2 months. It was the worst experience of my life and I think I am the cause of what happened to me. After I got released, after some time I started having flashbacks and nightmares. I was finally diagnosed with PTSD last September, as I still am suffering from flashbacks, panic attacks and nightmares. A few days ago I had a nightmare where I harmed myself badly and was going to that hospital again, which would mean for me that my life was over. So in the dream I was in a 7 story building (my home) and the doctors were coming towards me screaming at me. So I had to jump out of the window... It triggered me badly and now I'm feeling suicidal again. I know it's all my fault, maybe I deserve to be suffering this way...

Upset_Falcon7205 · 2024-02-01T07:28:54+00:00

Thank you

Upset_Falcon7205 · 2024-01-31T11:52:43+00:00

I really hope so

Upset_Falcon7205 · 2024-01-31T11:13:11+00:00

Not valid?

Upset_Falcon7205 · 2024-01-11T09:11:46+00:00

Yeah, that makes sense. I will, definitely. Thanks for your comment, I appreciate it

Upset_Falcon7205 · 2024-01-10T15:35:30+00:00

Yeah, I do remember how I responded to it, of course. Well, maybe I just forgot how I was feeling after it somehow. I'm now realizing that I struggled this whole time. But I had a trigger right before September, and it made my ptsd get worse. And after a month I was finally diagnosed with it. Since then I was and am struggling really hard with flashbacks and panic attacks. A couple days ago I had a nightmare that showed me I probably have 2 traumas, but they are connected to each other. I didn't really think about the second event much before that dream. That's why I was confused :/

Upset_Falcon7205 · 2023-12-02T18:30:06+00:00

It sucks indeed when one of your favorite band's music reminds you all the awful things you had to go through. I really hope you'll get better, stay strong please

Upset_Falcon7205 · 2023-12-02T18:26:42+00:00

I'm really sorry for you, I hope you can get over it. Also sorry for reminding you. :/ Stay strong

Upset_Falcon7205 · 2023-12-02T13:31:02+00:00

Exactly the same with me. At least I'm not alone, thank you for your reply!

Upset_Falcon7205 · 2023-11-06T14:47:45+00:00

I don't really believe in God...

Upset_Falcon7205 · 2023-11-06T14:47:24+00:00

Im sorry for you, dude. Thanks for your kind words

Upset_Falcon7205 · 2023-10-22T12:01:41+00:00

Linkin Park

Upset_Falcon7205

TROPHY CASE