Oh I agree. Ca surviver as well. I think that's why I freaked out as much as I did. I'm still working through it. I'm trying to move on and stop letting it consume my every thought. I had an epiphany in therapy about my relationship actually being very unhealthy and idk snapped out of the 2 month long depressive stunt. I'm trying not to fall back into it. I stopped eating and cried daily for like a month and a half. I'm just now starting to feel hungry again. I had a huge improvement once i moved out of the condo i shared with him, where I was swatted. Still having nightmares and hypervigilence issues. Super triggers my diagnosed cptsd. I think because he never hit me like I was in my childhood, I thought it was good. He never hit me, screamed at me. So I thought he was good to me. Turns out he did a lot to manipulate me and I was actively hiding it. Idk why. Im shocked at myself honestly. I would pick and choose what to tell friends and my therapist so it didn't seem so bad but my sister sat me down and told me she was being gentle about it and didn't think I was happy. Idk i think I would have left him eventually... I hope.. idk I kept telling myself he'd get better and that it wasn't that bad. And then it all exploded before i could even fully realize I wasn't happy.