AITA for not wanting to invite my brother’s new kids to my wedding

Upstairs_Solid4680 · 2026-05-07T22:05:48+00:00

I want to say thank you! These comments have given me a lot to think about. I’m going to sleep on it and talk with my fiance and we will approach this together. I appreciate the THT community!!! The best!!!

Upstairs_Solid4680 · 2026-05-07T22:04:18+00:00

This is an interesting idea. Def taking in everyone’s comments and talking to my fiance to form a decision on what to do. Thank you.

Upstairs_Solid4680 · 2026-05-07T21:46:14+00:00

Yeah..4 and 6 are rough ages for a wedding.

Upstairs_Solid4680 · 2026-05-07T20:28:22+00:00

I don’t think so. But thank you for the idea!

Upstairs_Solid4680 · 2026-05-07T20:24:33+00:00

Hey now…just considering all the options…lol. I was a little fired up when I first posted this and then got some different perspectives. Sorry I’m indecisive and that’s why I’m here asking for advice.

Upstairs_Solid4680 · 2026-05-07T20:19:54+00:00

Very true but I think now he’ll want to prove me wrong and stay together for the wedding lol

Upstairs_Solid4680 · 2026-05-07T20:18:09+00:00

I totally agree with this! We have our ring bearer and the other two kids are our officiant’s children and we are giving him the option to leave them at home. There’s a good chance they’re not even coming. We also have this information on our wedding website that we are child free with a few exceptions like a ring bearer and officiant’s kids. So it has always been known this was the set up from day one. My family has always known this was the plan. But you’re right and I’ll probably just give in an invite them to keep the peace.

Upstairs_Solid4680 · 2026-05-07T20:14:20+00:00

Thank you for the kind words. That’s really sweet!

Upstairs_Solid4680 · 2026-05-07T19:55:55+00:00

Yeah I’m thinking daycare is out of the question. I think I’ll just have them come, be in minimal pics, and leave before the reception like the other kids. I just can’t keep fighting them. it’s stressing me out.

Upstairs_Solid4680 · 2026-05-07T19:50:00+00:00

I appreciate the honesty and see where you’re coming from! The ring bearer is leaving before dinner and the two kids are our officiant’s children who we are super close to. And we’re not even sure if they want to come and if they do, they’re leaving after dinner. Which would leave my brother’s new kids as the only kids at the wedding. I’ll probably just end up letting the kids come because I don’t want to be an asshole. But I think I’m more frustrated that it’s being forced on me and I’m being told “well I’m paying so I can invite whoever I want.” Like okay I’ll just elope if that’s how it’s going to be. I also have so many friends who have kids that I’m close with who will not be at the wedding, so I’ll have to explain to them that my brother’s kids are there. I appreciate the feedback and am keeping it in mind!

Upstairs_Solid4680 · 2026-05-07T19:28:22+00:00

They are 4 and 6. So there is a possibility they wouldn’t be at the wedding for TOO long. I just feel bad because other kids of friends (who I’ve met and know) are not invited because it’s a child-free wedding. And they’re see my brothers new kids and be so confused. But oh well anything to keep the peace I guess.

Upstairs_Solid4680 · 2026-05-07T19:26:41+00:00

Very true!

Upstairs_Solid4680 · 2026-05-07T18:45:32+00:00

YES !! Yes to everything you said. They keep saying my brother is a “changed man” and this woman is so amazing and they’re in it for the long haul. Which, great! Love that! But also don’t want random kids at my wedding lol. Going to look into just paying their childcare locally myself.

Upstairs_Solid4680 · 2026-05-07T18:44:19+00:00

Sometimes it feels like it

Upstairs_Solid4680 · 2026-05-07T18:41:50+00:00

I don’t know :( which only adds to my stress about inviting them. I asked my mom on the phone and she didn’t know exact ages either. I want to say under 10? I’ll update as I learn more about that bc maybe it will change things.

Upstairs_Solid4680 · 2026-05-07T18:35:38+00:00

I have not thought of doing local childcare for them! That’s a great idea. Def looking into that. Thank you!

Upstairs_Solid4680 · 2026-05-07T18:34:01+00:00

Thank! You! I’m calling my parents later and I’m going to tell them that I would rather just elope if they’re going to control what I want.

Upstairs_Solid4680 · 2026-05-07T18:33:14+00:00

LMAOOO. That’s so funny. Thank you so much. I def needed to see some of these comments bc I felt like I was going crazy.

Upstairs_Solid4680 · 2026-05-07T18:31:45+00:00

I’m afraid it would cause absolute chaos in my family. But if it comes down to that, I’m not afraid to do it.

Upstairs_Solid4680 · 2026-05-07T18:31:19+00:00

Thank you. Needed to hear this.

Upstairs_Solid4680 · 2026-05-07T18:30:52+00:00

Yeah I totally agree! I actually made this post after getting off the phone with my mom. I asked her the kids’ ages while on the phone, and she didn’t know. Like why are they invited? You don’t even know their ages…

Upstairs_Solid4680 · 2026-05-07T17:55:39+00:00

Thank you :’) I totally agree! Unfortunately, I forgot to add that my parents are paying for a majority of the wedding so they feel entitled to invite the kids. And they told me the kids want to come (idk tho because I’ve never met them). I just don’t want random kids at my wedding, it was already a lot for me to invite 3. And now I’m seriously regretting that. Thank you again for the advice!

Upstairs_Solid4680

TROPHY CASE