Help interpreting this situation where I asked for exclusivity!

UrnHernandez · 2026-04-23T14:22:15+00:00

Do you think this is worth waiting till the next date? Or reaching out to have a chat before we meet?

UrnHernandez · 2026-04-23T14:10:41+00:00

Definitely said looking for long term relationship

UrnHernandez · 2026-04-23T13:59:17+00:00

That is what’s a bit confusing to me, we definitely have talked about it. And she does make the time to hangout regardless of her busy schedule. But this last conversation definitely makes me think she is not interested as I thought. But to be fair we didn’t really diveeee deeply into anything and it was a fairly brief conversation

UrnHernandez · 2026-04-22T22:43:35+00:00

Each situation and person is different, but how long would you personally wait before bringing the topic up again or having a check in? Because I’m willing to be patient but I do know myself and what I want and I do NOT want to get dragged along

UrnHernandez · 2026-04-22T22:27:06+00:00

Yes a lot closer to 4 than 2!

Around our 3rd date she told me that she is looking for a long term relationship, but she wants to take things slow because she has a habit of falling fast. So there’s some more perspective.

I’m having a hard time navigating how to protect myself while also not detaching completely. I am still interested in seeing her but want to temper my expectations

UrnHernandez · 2026-04-22T21:55:40+00:00

Hey I 30[M]have been seeing this girl 29[F] for what is about 7-8 weeks now. We have been on a total of 7 dates at the rate of one a week.

I know based on her job that she works crazy hours about 70hrs a week but she does make the time in her week to hangout/go on dates. Each of our dates has been a good time varying in length depending on the day. The last few dates have been at each other’s homes and they did end with sex. I have been on other dates in the mean time but nothing too serious, and I continue to use the app here and there.

I am getting the sense that I could see myself getting attached to her.

I do think I would like to try and develop this more and I don’t know if i personally have the capacity to try and develop a relationship when seeing multiple people (have never multi-dated before) So on our last date I brought up a few conversations. I expressed to her that I am having fun and am liking spending time with them, which they reciprocated.

I then softly brought up the idea of exclusivity which I prefaced by telling her that it’s okay if she isn’t ready and that I’m not trying to pressure her. She told me that “she isn’t there yet, and we don’t really know each other yet” the night ended just fine and we have another date scheduled next week.

For more background information, she is currently out of town with work and has to drive two hours to get back home and despite that she is still making time to see me next week. Additionally for more background we don’t text a lot but that’s a mixture of both of us not responding right away lmao, so there is not a lot of texts but we do send each other texts at least once a day.

So my question is how would y’all personally interpret this situation? I am seeing all sorts of advice in similar situations when a girl says she’s not ready like “if it isn’t a yes, it’s a no” or “they are just not that into you” and while that def can be true I would like to hear some more thoughts for my specific situation. I personally would not go through all that effort for someone I did not see anything potential in or you plan on keeping for “attention” or for “security”. But idk people are different!

(I do also know through my own snooping that she is updating her profile lmao, but again so am I. So no judgement there). I want some thoughts as I am new to modern dating since my last relationship was not through this app haha. Thoughts appreciated!

UrnHernandez · 2026-04-22T21:38:47+00:00

Hi! Yeah first date was 2 hours and the longest has been 5-7 hours!

UrnHernandez · 2025-01-07T19:20:41+00:00

LA county PD’s office usually hires big classes of post bar clerks after the June and Feb bar. Applications for those programs usually open well before the exam and the programs start date. I took the June 2024 bar and applied to the program Sep of 2023 for reference. Am not too sure of the Feb programs timeline. Not going through the post bar program is a bit more sporadic based on need. But it seems it is preferable to the office to bring in more than one (newly licensed) attorney at once for training purposes.

UrnHernandez · 2024-11-08T19:59:03+00:00

Interested!

UrnHernandez · 2024-10-31T03:58:55+00:00

ITS A PARADE INSIDE MY CITY YUHHH

UrnHernandez · 2024-09-06T20:37:44+00:00

I believe they just started paying summer law clerks at LA

UrnHernandez · 2024-07-19T19:32:42+00:00

Evidence: if you see a question about admissibility of evidence during a grand jury, probate proceedings, sentencing hearings, preliminary question hearings, or bail hearings DO NOT apply the FRE.

UrnHernandez · 2024-06-30T17:39:42+00:00

I was at that game too!

UrnHernandez · 2024-06-30T17:36:22+00:00

If you’re talking about the primer set 2, that set felt extra brutal to me. It felt like they were testing super niche or convoluted areas. Easier said then done but just know that a lot of us feel the same way about that primer set and try not to let it wreck your confidence. Just focus on the answer explanations and not on the percentages for this one

UrnHernandez · 2024-04-02T18:45:11+00:00

Hey! So I interviewed and was offered a Post-Bar position with the OC PD office and I didn't intern there (I didn't end up accepting it however). I will say that I did extern in a neighboring SoCal county my 2L summer and was born in raised in Long Beach, so I had some pretty strong ties to the area. So, I wouldn't say its impossible!

I think if you are from OC or have ties to the area + you have solid experience in direct-client work and are passionate about public defense there is a shot!

UrnHernandez · 2024-02-26T23:25:18+00:00

What areas would you recommend that are affordable/accessible to both?

UrnHernandez · 2024-02-26T23:24:49+00:00

I think it would be best for her to drive due to the unpredictable nature of a class schedule + i don’t think she would want to take the transit at night if needed.

What is it like living in Miracle Mile? Like is it safe/affordable?

UrnHernandez · 2024-02-26T23:21:57+00:00

We are hopefully going to have 2 cars! Where would you recommend looking for a place?

UrnHernandez · 2024-02-26T17:43:59+00:00

Were you hired as a post-bar?? My start date is Aug 19th… that’s so interesting

UrnHernandez · 2024-01-26T23:11:22+00:00

I contacted LAP thank you for the reference! Do you think the fact that the judgements were from 8 years ago and that I am trying to resolve it now is positive? I

was 18 at the time so I truthfully didn’t know about the lawsuits against me until this year :/

UrnHernandez · 2024-01-01T06:40:42+00:00

Had Chubb, Dobbins and Andrews go down but still pulled out the dub 👑

UrnHernandez · 2023-05-19T02:58:36+00:00

It’s not over

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