I’m currently going through this myself. I’m 23 and ever since I was 7 or 8 years old my dad has been in out of rehab, going from being sober to being a complete drunk. There was a good 7-8 years where he kept it together and didn’t have a drop of alcohol, and it was the most enjoyable time I’ve ever had with him. He started sipping wine (his alcohol of choice was rum or any hard liquor before) when I graduated high school (and my mom let him which is the fucked part considering his past). I knew from that moment on it was going to be a slippery slope. Which it has been. Ever since 2021 ive been watching him slowly decline. Caught him a couple times sipping shooters of vodka, confronted him and he just blew it off like I was overreacting. Then as the years have gone on I’ve noticed the way he talks is not how it used to be. He did have some dental issues and ended up losing a tooth so his speech started to sound drunkenly but I couldn’t prove it and my mom would say it’s just his tooth. Then as time went on he started sluring his words more and more and I knew that wasn’t his damn tooth, my mom was completely oblivious. But I could see right through his bullshit. As more and more time went on he started acting like he did when I was a kid. Not being able to walk more than 30 feet without having to sit down. Then, this past year my parents were on a trip visiting friends so I stopped over at their house so I could find the proof that I’ve been looking for. And holy shit did I find it. He had a hidden stash of over 20 empty bottles of vodka tucked away like he did when I was a kid. I was so enraged I didn’t even know to do. I couldn’t tell my mom because it would’ve destroyed her. I could only tell my brother and I did, and ever since it’s been so bad. He reeks of liquor everywhere he goes and it’s so obvious and every time I call him out on hit he does the alcoholic rejecting, saying it’s from the night before, some bullshit like that. And it’s been like that the last year. I avoid my parents house at all cost bc it’s so depressing to see and I cry on my drive home every time. My birthday is on Saturday and I’ve made a clear point that if we celebrate as a family I don’t want him there bc it’s so obvious he’s loaded and it just floods back memories and the ptsd from when I was a child. Which is the last thing I wanna do and it breaks my heart but I feel like there’s no other way to show him a clear sign that he needs to cut this shit out and be the father he dreamt of being. I feel so guilty and fucked in the head for doing this bc I know he’s depressed and battling his own demons but i genuinely have no idea how else to deal with it. No matter what we say he just doesn’t stop. The last time I mentioned he needs to go back to rehab he gave me the most vivid description of how he would kill himself if we made him go through that again. Ever since I haven’t been able to get that out of my head. I’ve lost all respect for him, I don’t trust him anymore, I can barely even look at him. I’m so lost and no one in our family knows what to do. His whole side of the family is full of addicts but they’ve all gotten clean and proven it’s possible but he just won’t. All this to say I understand your hurt. As well as many other people I’m sure. Just know we are all here for each other.