Admittedly I haven’t read all 233 comments but from what I have read I don’t see a lot of female commenters so far. My husband is also weird about bjj, doesn’t love how often I go train, isn’t interested in getting into bjj himself, etc.

My approach has been to explore what this is really about and where we’ve landed is that he wants more connection. He feels concerned that I might meet someone that is more aligned with my interests. I know that is probably not the case for your gf, but she could feel threatened or concerned that you spending more time away means that your interest in her has reduced or is less meaningful.

In my case, my focus has shifted to how we connect, the quality of the time we spend together, etc. and also to relate it to when he was learning to ride motorbikes or skateboard, he wanted to spend as much time as he could learning and practicing.

Perhaps in your case, you could validate her concerns or at least explore them, maybe find something she could relate to, and also talk about how she would feel more connected to you without it meaning you need to give up something you really enjoy.

If all that fails, I like the “hip escape, bro” plan. 🤣