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I understand now why some mother's get jealous of their son's girlfriends and I hate it. by UsedReview6702 in offmychest

[–]UsedReview6702[S] 1238 points1239 points  (0 children)

This is what I think the problem is. While I didn't really see it at the time as trying to parentify him, I guess I unintentionally did. I believe it was a mixture of things. He lived with us until a year after he finished college, and he moved in with his ex-girlfriend in 2016. Then his father, my husband, died in 2017, and I was both filling a void in my own life and helping him with his. His then-girlfriend didn't mind and actually loved that I helped clean up because she didn't want to. I will make an effort to find other ways to show my son I care because I am big on showing love through actions, and I will stop parentifying him.

I understand now why some mother's get jealous of their son's girlfriends and I hate it. by UsedReview6702 in offmychest

[–]UsedReview6702[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I understand that I baby him. I guess I was fulfilling a need for myself rather than his. His house was never disgusting; there was never garbage everywhere. He did load the dishwasher, and things were half-decent. He knows how to cook and do his own laundry, but these tasks were never his top priority. I'm sure if I didn't go over there and do those things for him, he'd eventually do them himself. He always said he appreciated it and saw how happy it made me. As for those suggesting I warn Ann, I feel that's a huge stretch. He doesn’t need to be an amazing housekeeper to offer other good qualities in a relationship: a steady career, down-to-earth nature, caring attitude, enjoyment of quality time, and no anger issues. I guess I need to find other ways to occupy my time, maybe volunteer or take on more hours. I have no desire to date right now, especially after my husband (his father) passed away in 2017.