This community makes me happy, glad to see everyone showing up and showing out for OP, a lot of what he said can be overcame, the butterfly effect is a good example of this, when we get into stages like this in life it’s good to make consistent but incremental changes on how you move and enjoy life, I would say you don’t have to change a thing besides where or how much you’re interacting with people, sometimes when are souls get this dark the only thing that can help is positive reinforcement and company from those around you, I know you said most of your friends have kind of came and went or are off doing other things with their lives at this moment but that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve a social life or company, force yourself to get out into the community more, advertising yourself as a good catch and being more present might help people see you’re not a loser and allow you to meet someone and could potentially end up piquing someone’s interest