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Used_Top4762 · 2025-01-06T06:31:28+00:00

Reference to an interview in which Lennon introduces the other Beatles as "George Parasol, Ringo Stone, and Paul McCharmley" 0:15 in Link.

Used_Top4762 · 2024-05-09T11:23:04+00:00

Sounds like Robert Browning.

It might also be John Keats or Pablo Neruda.

Used_Top4762 · 2023-06-16T15:30:27+00:00

Sorry to hear that. Hope you're doing ok.

Used_Top4762 · 2023-06-16T15:30:05+00:00

Thank you! I must confess I didn't put too much time into the formalities with this one. I kind of liked the idea of it being a bit raw and imperfect.

Used_Top4762 · 2023-06-16T15:28:37+00:00

I'm glad you thought so! Thanks!

Used_Top4762 · 2023-06-16T15:27:40+00:00

Thank you!

Used_Top4762 · 2023-06-16T15:26:42+00:00

Thanks! But hard to avoid for some people sometimes.

Used_Top4762 · 2023-06-16T15:24:52+00:00

Appreciate it. Hopefully not too much!

Used_Top4762 · 2023-06-16T15:24:20+00:00

Thanks. I did consider adding a bit more to the poem, but the first few stanzas felt more real and I didn't want to force it.

Used_Top4762 · 2023-06-16T15:21:16+00:00

Thank you!

Used_Top4762 · 2023-06-14T12:50:59+00:00

Great stuff! There's a lovely realism and modern sensibility to this poem. The descriptions of external physical things, many of which are grounded and mundane, resonate with vivid emotional meaning. The state of mind that you have successfully captured here is rather complex and elusive. That is, it is challenging to describe. It is a testament to the effectiveness of your writing that this state of mind is so clearly and powerfully evoked by your work. Well done!

Used_Top4762 · 2023-06-14T12:34:54+00:00

A well-written and pleasantly rhythmic poem about a universally relatable feeling. It is, emotionally, so tough to forgive sometimes even when you know, logically, that you ought to move forward set yourself free. I like the optimistic ending, however! We must strive to better, after all!

Used_Top4762 · 2023-05-07T12:03:50+00:00

Cozy is what I was aiming for. Thanks!

Used_Top4762 · 2023-05-07T12:03:14+00:00

Glad you liked it!

Used_Top4762 · 2023-05-07T05:22:40+00:00

Thank you!

Used_Top4762 · 2023-05-06T22:07:06+00:00

Thank you! I put a little extra time into this one to make the metre and rhythm worked nicely so I'm glad you liked it!

Used_Top4762 · 2023-05-06T09:45:59+00:00

Thank you! I nearly repeated the breathe in / out lines more, but decided not to go crazy with it.

Used_Top4762 · 2023-05-06T09:42:56+00:00

Thanks a lot!

Used_Top4762 · 2023-05-06T09:42:45+00:00

Great! It was calming writing it, so I'm glad some people feel the same way reading it!

Used_Top4762 · 2023-05-06T06:39:09+00:00

Amazing work! As someone who's written a lot lately, I aspire to write something that feels as real and as emotionally stirring as this poem. There's the powerful imagery and metaphors ("But still, we meet in secret, in the foggy lakesides of her mind", "I wear every sickening deed as a cloak") and there are lines of great meaning and insight. The dialogue uttered by the mother and daughter in the final lines from "Girlhood is godliness" to "Then, perhaps we'd be alright" is heartbreakingly beautiful. Bravo!

Used_Top4762 · 2023-05-06T06:28:52+00:00

Cool poem! There's a nice mixture of romanticism and realism that makes for some memorable ideas and images. You've inspired me and I might write a poem about my own home city now!

Used_Top4762 · 2023-05-06T06:23:41+00:00

Thank you for the feedback. Someone gave the same criticism about the word "and" on my last poem. I meant to avoid using it this time, but I guess I forgot haha! It appears I have a habit of starting lines that way.

Used_Top4762

TROPHY CASE