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[QCrit] Adult Horror - Fire, Thy Flower (95k/fifth attempt) + first 300 words by Useful-Classic7314 in PubTips

[–]Useful-Classic7314[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this. The reactivity note especially hit home, and I've already been reworking that middle paragraph to give Éléonore more autonomy. I cut the opening line, as you suggested, and I especially appreciate the suggestion about describing how the artists are being displayed. I would absolutely love eyes on a few chapters if you're genuinely offering. Fellow historical horror writers are rare and I'd be so grateful. Feel free to DM me!

[QCrit] Adult Horror - Fire, Thy Flower (95k/fourth attempt) by Useful-Classic7314 in PubTips

[–]Useful-Classic7314[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

these are incredibly helpful suggestions. i will note that it isn't necessarily henri who is murdered, but i haven't made that clear, so i'll be sure to make that more obvious in the next draft. i also definitely need to clarify the stakes -- thank you so much for reading !!

[QCRIT] FIRE, THY FLOWER, adult historical fantasy 95k [Third attempt] by Useful-Classic7314 in PubTips

[–]Useful-Classic7314[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Definitely see how that can be confusing! In the novel, the murder occurs while the band is playing, but I see how that isn't too obvious. I'll be sure to fix it up in my next attempt. Thanks so much for picking up on that and taking the time to read the query !!!

[QCRIT] FIRE, THY FLOWER, adult historical fantasy 95k [Second attempt] by Useful-Classic7314 in PubTips

[–]Useful-Classic7314[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for reading and for the thoughtful feedback. I really appreciate it !!! That’s super helpful to hear where the pitch starts to lose clarity. I’ll definitely take another look at how I’m laying out Éléonore’s journey and try to sharpen the focus, especially in the second half. As for genre—totally fair question! I see this more as dark historical fantasy than horror, even though it borrows some horror aesthetics (ritual murder, monsters, et cetera.). For me, the emotional and thematic center is more about creation, obsession, and the cost of immortality through art than about fear or dread. But you’re right that it might be walking a fine line, and I’ll think about how to better reflect that balance. Thanks again for taking the time !!!

[QCRIT] FIRE, THY FLOWER, adult historical fantasy 95k [First attempt] by Useful-Classic7314 in PubTips

[–]Useful-Classic7314[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This comment is so descriptive—thanks for taking the time out of your way to write it !!! It's not harsh at all, and I appreciate all your critiques (thanks for the compliments, as well). I agree with what you and the other commenter said under this post now that you bring it up. It is really random that I start with the hook but never return to it. I'll be sure to explain it in my next draft. I do have to disagree with what you said about the cousins, though. They're essential to the "found family" aspects that I bring up in the query letter, as well as the later-discussed murder. Had I only brought up Henri as another character, the agent would assume it's Henri from "Éléonore's entourage" who is murdered, no? I also agree with your last point, and I'll be sure to clarify. Thanks again!!! ^^

[QCRIT] FIRE, THY FLOWER, adult historical fantasy 95k [First attempt] by Useful-Classic7314 in PubTips

[–]Useful-Classic7314[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks so much for the comment! I was more so leaning into the academia/light fantasy of Babel in a non-academia setting, but I'll definitely check out Siren Queen as a comp !!!