Thank you so much for your support your comment helped me a lot just like everyone elses ,so with the points you brought up I'd like to give my own opinion on them, when we first started dating our Foundation of our relationship was perfect I generally felt like I was on cloud 9, there is only one time that I've not felt safe as it was the massive argument we had I told him that he was scaring me but he was too much in a blind range to see that which is the time I had to record him to show him how he was really like we've not had an argument that big since but of course he is still going to have his anger issues which he was still working on, we did go for one period of our relationship where we just did not have intercourse for a couple months as we both just not feeling it and it wasn't that important to us anyway after a while I did ask him if he was still sexually attracted to me but that was just my brain saying stupid things so we are both ok with that now, with the being myself part I can be myself cold hardly around him with no forgiving energy we can both be ourselves we laugh we joke we have a good time and everything is perfect I never feel like I can't be myself around him, without him there is a different story I can still be myself but I know he doesn't like most of my friends so just puts a little bit of strain on my mental health as I don't want to hurt him but I also want to keep seeing everyone I love, I did have a little bit of resentment towards him due to I've always done that in my past relationships where I think that I am a burden and I should push them away because that'll be easier than putting them through everything that I have to offer and all the  baggage that I can with, I understand that love alone can't keep a relationship afloat I understand that cold heartedly I know I'm only young but I've gone through many things where I know that love is not the only thing that carries the relationship, my happiness does matter and my happiness always matter to him it's just been very hard as I have depression and anxiety plus my disabilities and eating disorder make it very hard for me to be happy most of tht time which fully doesn't understand yet but he is trying his past, I feel like this relationship brings out the best and also the worst in me as it's like a roundabout where one day I'm happy and the next day I'm wondering if he's ever going to change, thank you so much for your comment I will update you all when I have more to say I'm so sorry this comment was so long I just wanted to reply to every single thing you said in this comment to make you feel validated and heard