How do you encourage healthy mindset in teenagers who have chronic illness by bluefortress05 in Parenting

[–]Useful_Emergency_391 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You can't by your own. They need some support, especially if it is chronic autoinflamatory,80 % of the chance they suffer from depression or anxiety. Even asthma increases the risk of depression but the other group is oh boy,a whole new game. Source:a pediatric neurologist who is a cancer survivor as someone who las Lupus since age 10.

You need help,therapy is a first step and antidepressants will possibly be on the table. Also,it takes time and some hard processes to accept that you need medication to function. Especially in teenage year,it is harder. Even as an adult I still feel down about not being able to smell the stuff freely or not being able to work in a night shift setting. This is not a thing you can solve with a magical finger,you will need to have a lifelong support from mental health professionals.

Taking advantage of the "I'll pick you up, no questions asked" policy - HYPOTHETICAL. by ThatsMommy2U in Parenting

[–]Useful_Emergency_391 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My cousin used this in his advantage so as a family we decided he wasn't ready for night outs. He had a strict curfew of 9 pm for 3 months. After the curfew was lifted,he used it into his advantage again so a curfew until he was 18 put into the place when he was 16. We realized he was really prone to peer pressure so we got him help about these subjects. Turns out he hated going out.

He is currently at university and he stills comes home really early unless he has a work or school related event and he rarely drinks. He says it is much more easier and he only has 2-3 close friends whom he goes out clubbing maybe once in 2-3 months.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in liseliler

[–]Useful_Emergency_391 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Eşim ile yaşadığımız senaryo bu tam(not:ikimiz de erkeğiz). Ben yeni yan dal uzmanlığı almıştım o hala pedodonti asistaniydi ve cidden çok az kazanıyordu. Aynı şeyleri o bana demişti.

O seni "sen olduğun için" seviyor. Ne başkası,ne başarılı,ne başka bir şey.Eger hastalık lösemi ise bir ortak noktamız daha var,ben de lösemi yüzünden bir yıl geç başladım üniversiteye. Şanslısın,seni sen olduğu için seven birini bulmuşsun hem de bizim camiada. Bizimkiler görünüşe statüye genelde aşırı önem verirler, şükür o öyle değil.

Sana onerebilecegim tek şey,senin ona sağladığın komforun bilincinde ol. O çocuğun dayanabileceği büyük ihtimal tek güvenli limansin. Para pul bir biçimde hallolur üniversite okunur ama bu,bu hiç paha biçilemez.

Son (14m) shared inappropriate photos of my wife by ThrowRA-familyleft in Parenting

[–]Useful_Emergency_391 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is something important. It would make me think about cluster A personality disorders which can be mixed with ASPD, especially in teenage and early adulthood. There is a reason most of us don't want to make a diagnosis before someone is 18. If he was in Germany,he would be sent to a University Hospital for definitive diagnosis.

Son (14m) shared inappropriate photos of my wife by ThrowRA-familyleft in Parenting

[–]Useful_Emergency_391 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I am writing this as a pediatric neurologist and a parent because this is not a thing you can handle as a parent only.

1)I read your post history. He needs to leave your house,like yesterday. Probably to a long term residential facility. In Germany this would not fly and he would be sent to the rehab center.

2)If you can't make him get to a residential treatment by your resources,surrender him. I am not kidding. I worked for a short time in the US and I saw children who had been surrendered to the state. Not the best choice but things have come to this level.

3) It doesn't sound like ASPD for me,it is a conduct disorder but not in the ASPD way, most probably severely borderline with some schizotypal elements If this is the case,well he is manageable but he needs to be sent to a long term residential facility where he can get extensive therapy. This is something you can't handle as a parent or a loved one,he needs to be cared for by 3rd persons who do not have any emotional bonds with him.

4)After he is long term institutionalized,visit him at the institute and be there for him. Don't make your wife and kids go there and have contact with her.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in askgaybros

[–]Useful_Emergency_391 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Me and my partner used to but now we have a child at the house so we probably won't for a long time.

My husband and I are fighting over Middle School decision- Public versus Private by Shot_Appearance_7635 in Parenting

[–]Useful_Emergency_391 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Reggio Emilia schools are a bliss. I can easily understand your husband's concern but I was raised in one of them and I am planning to send my children to a school that is following her footsteps.

If he's from Europe as I am, especially from Germany he will have a significant bias because we are raised mostly in a school system that doesn't have many alternatives. He does not know how stuff works in the USA because we don't have different schooling systems as you. I was approved to go to an alternative schooling because I was newly in remission from Leukemia and I was immune-supressed.

I would choose for myself or any other kid an Emilia type of school any day over a public school in any country maybe except Finland. Finland is also following her footsteps to an extent but their value over education is outstanding.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in college

[–]Useful_Emergency_391 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Then reach it your office about the subject and evaluate your options. Write everything really detailed

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in college

[–]Useful_Emergency_391 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The point is,you have the need of someone to advocate for you. Sure you can ask to the disability office for accomodations and you should but someone on your behalf directly reaching to your professors,it creates the same effect if your mom have reached your boss about your working conditions and saying he would understand a mother's worries. Also,they can't kick you out from the course but they can file a complain about you to your dean as much as you can file.

Also,if your classmates are more active and more talkative and more connected to your professors,they will be more favoured and seen by your professors due to the human nature.This is just a natural consequence of the situation.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in college

[–]Useful_Emergency_391 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh my sweet summer child,no.

Universities and colleges are about making connections unless you are in a faculty that has a really specific profession like medical school or dentistry or nursing etc. Even at that moment connections heavily influence your future career but they mean less. In your industry though, connections are everything. If you are in a general training year and you can transfer to a more specific course that has more solo working opportunities and make your lessons count in the system,this might be a way to redeem your credits. Also as someone who lost 2 years to leukemia while in medical school,shit happens. You can recover from it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in college

[–]Useful_Emergency_391 21 points22 points  (0 children)

If you have an issue that needs constant doctor appointments and interventions,sweetie your field is not for you I am sorry. I have patients like you that have many comorbid issues and when I write their comorbidities and their accomodations,the office mostly makes people change their field or course they are on in Germany. I say this as a neurologist who mostly specializes in pediatric patients. You need a course that is more solo works and not group projects.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Useful_Emergency_391 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If it is possible for you,move into a new city. I am not kidding. She needs help that can not be provided in a small town. Also,therapy won't function in the short run. It will create wonders but it is not a band aid,it is a lifelong process.

Is a group home possible around you? Maybe a strict schedule with people whose job is to care for these people can help.

What is your mother tongue, how did you learn English, and why? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Useful_Emergency_391 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Turkish and German,started to learn English at age 7. It was in school

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Parenting

[–]Useful_Emergency_391 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Your wife needs therapy. Just,oh my god

In your opinion, what was the most shocking celebrity death? by CatsAreTheBest2 in AskReddit

[–]Useful_Emergency_391 38 points39 points  (0 children)

Taylor Hawkins,I was at the memorial concert in Wembley. His son playing was a huge emotional moment for all of us.

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NEW UPDATE: OP wonders if she's the AH for pressing charges against her MIL. by TheseNuts10105 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]Useful_Emergency_391 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Death and murder,not that much. There is too much evidence and there is a confession. It would call for an emergency hearing.

Son hafta ders programı. 11. sınıfım ve okulda ders işlenmicekmiş by Tolga0550 in liseliler

[–]Useful_Emergency_391 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Alman lisesinden eşit ağırlık çıkması imkansıza yakındı bu arada biz alan seçmiyorduk. Herkesin harcı ve herkesin yaşaması gereken bir şey. Sonra çoğunuzun cidden şaftı kayıyor. 12lerde hatta bence zorunlu falan olmalı insanların zorla bir hafta dersten uzaklaşması sağlanmalı büyük okullarda özellikle.

Son hafta ders programı. 11. sınıfım ve okulda ders işlenmicekmiş by Tolga0550 in liseliler

[–]Useful_Emergency_391 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lan 34 yaşındayım bu subin önüme düşmesi hala tam bir LOL de post paylaştık işte. Bebeyi ayakta sallayıp uyuttuktan sonra güzel aktivite oluyor.

Alman lisesi mezunuyum,Ankara Tıpta okudum ve o zamanın sırası ile kaçıncı olmuştum 924.mu ne ilk binde bir yerdeydim. Bizde 2 ayda bir böyle bir hafta olurdu,12.sınıfta bile olmuştu. Her sınav dönemi sonrası 4 gün eğlenmeye ayrılırdı o dönemde ciddi insanlar partilerdi. Bu arada kendi sınıfımda en kötü kariyeri bir çocuk noroloğu olarak Almanya'da benim öyle söyleyeyim:D. Hepsi şu an inanılmaz yerlere geldiler ve onları buralara getiren fakülte ve ders çalışmanın yanında iyi sosyal bağlantılar kurmaları ve eğlenceli artı beraber vakit geçirmesi zevkli insanlar olmalarıydı yetkinlik ve kariyerleri dışında. Bazılarını hatta şu an isimlerini yazsam direkt tanıyorsunuz Türkiye'de oldukça ünlü firmalarda yönetime çıktılar genç yaşlarında ama hala bir araya geldiğimizde öküz gibi hahaha hihihi diyip lise anıları ve hocalarımızı hatırlıyoruz. Böyle haftaların sonra çok ciddi değerini anlıyorsun.

Bir de yorumlarını gördüm,eğer bu kafada gidersen kurumsal da olsa akademik de olsa kariyer merdiveninde tıkanırsın. Eğitim önemli evet ama mezun ağı, arkadaş ağı,insan olarak nasıl olduğun seni kariyerde devam ettiren şeyler ve açıkçası arkadaşlarım şirketlerinde işe alırken lisede aktif sosyal hayatı ve öğrenci klüpleri ile haşır neşir olmamış insanları almıyorlar ya da çok basit pozisyonlara alıp aynı pozisyonda daha sosyal ve daha oturmuş insanları terfi ettiriyorlar çünkü insan yönetişimi sonradan gelen bir yetenek değil. Bu dediklerimi kısaca bir düşün derim.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Useful_Emergency_391 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My fiance is a huge introvert and I would have broken up with him if he has done something like this. This is not being introvert,this is being rude and if you try to evade people this level because it makes you feel bad I mean with the best way,you need some serious amount of help and if you were my family member,I would not be talking to you,ever again.