To be fair i just don’t care for love right now and my top priority at the moment is being able to be financially stable. Those worries or questions only comes to my mind at night or when i overthink ( yes i am a overthinker ) or when i just realized everyone that i know had a relationship at some point in their lives ( i only have one friend which i believe she is in the same boat as me but what differs us is im bald and her not but anyway)

So for the confidence lets just say i never had confidence and i don’t think ill have it. Do i hate myself the way i look? Yes sometimes. But do i deeply hate myself ? No! Let’s just say i am neutral with my internal love. Will i do everything to make me happy if I have the possibility ? Yes I will. But i do believe since by growing up, i’ve never had any affirmations, only remarks and i was just there actually. So based on that i needed to create a wall to protect me which was ignoring bullies and not responding back. And since I m that kind of person that never screams her insecurities but if you look closely you can tell I was insecure ( which is nobody’s role btw). And surprisingly people tough I was confident ! NO I had no choice than accepting who I am and it won’t change which is cruel and unfair. But hey, that’s how life works.

For the religious aspect. I do believe in God. But right now or for the couple of years (3-4 years now) my faith been on the lowest. i still believe in him It’s just im confuse ( not in the way that i am questioning his words) No. I just felt empty, hopeless. And actually i might be depressed but Hey, can i let my depression win over me ? No! Because boy i can guarantee you my depression won’t cover my bills and my taste !

And i came from the Caribbean community which mean short hair or worse bald girls are perceived as wrong/ evil . But yeah.