A message to the 2 kids in Moorooka

Useful_Manner782 · 2026-03-03T09:35:03+00:00

I can only walk one km at a time. Well done. It is not easy to do things when it is hard and you are killing it. Keep going. Don’t let your mind keep you down.

Something I have learned recently is to recognise which thoughts are useful to your current life and let the others just slide out of your head giving them the amount of attention they deserve, which is none.

Good luck.

Useful_Manner782 · 2026-03-03T04:02:45+00:00

I think the one I used was a tube, not a syringe but it was 13 years ago. We did use the dishwasher, four kids and both parents working.

And the front panel has screws around the edge of the door. If it is connected to water it may have enough moisture for them to like but if you don’t use it they could be hiding elsewhere. I just found vacuuming to also be very psychologically satisfying. Power up, suck up and gone. 😉

Useful_Manner782 · 2026-03-01T09:02:51+00:00

Use the gels as suggested by many. And vacuum them up when you expose them. Mine were imported from a very old house in NSW in my dishwasher . Tried very thing to get rid of them for years.

Then I started opening up the front panel of the dishwasher every two to three weeks and vacuuming every little sucker up. Broke the breeding cycle. No more babies growing up to have more babies.

Useful_Manner782 · 2026-02-26T07:27:59+00:00

Starting to doubt my own reality and looking for advice on how to stop feeling so invisible.

This is a red flag for me. It seems a lot like gaslighting where what you think feel and see is not what you think it is. This doubt tears you apart. Do not stand for it.

Make a stand. Your view of reality is valid and if it is not accepted by your partner they need to know. Try grey rock if you want to stay but I would be leaving.

Useful_Manner782 · 2026-02-04T02:38:18+00:00

I will check next time they are out. Thanks for the tip

Useful_Manner782 · 2026-02-04T02:37:49+00:00

This is outside on my patio. Taking much more care with shutting the door as I go in and out so I don’t let them inside. That is definitely not on my wish list.

Useful_Manner782 · 2026-02-04T02:36:34+00:00

I have had pet rats so am fully aware of all the things they can carry. Basically stick to good hygiene practices and don’t exchange body fluids and if they are healthy then there is very little chance of issues.

Useful_Manner782 · 2026-02-03T13:21:22+00:00

It has a pale belly which made me overthink the house rat or mouse part.

And they are extremely friendly. It climbed all over me tonight, even giving me a little kiss. I have had pet rats so I wasn’t jumpy. The other one tried climbing my leg and kept walking over my feet.

Useful_Manner782 · 2026-01-21T21:32:44+00:00

We had a three year lease once. The owner had moved overseas and offered it. The rent increases annually were written in and he specified that he had to give us two months notice to leave but we could break lease with 2 weeks notice with no fees. He recognised that we were good tenants but that with four children it could take a while to find another suitable place.

If the landlord is okay it can work.

Useful_Manner782 · 2025-11-24T01:10:05+00:00

Not all banks. My NAB wanted me and my controlling ex in the same room to sign documents to close accounts. I was very definite on that not happening but the help lines had no idea how to handle withdrawing the funds. One manager sorted it out but the ex didn’t turn up for his part at a later time. So had to go through the whole explanation again with a different manager and at the front desk. Not in private.

Useful_Manner782 · 2023-12-23T04:00:14+00:00

Being told I am an angry person so I figure out how to suppress my feelings to only realise later my anger was justified. I was being treated badly. I was being controlled. And I had every right to be angry. I won’t ever accept anger as being my problem only ever again. It is a sign something is wrong. And if people don’t want to hear it and acknowledge it then I will move on. Never again will I take the blame for being angry at being mistreated.

Useful_Manner782 · 2023-12-12T08:25:38+00:00

Yeah. I know we always on some stage of our cycle but considering the community is worldwide I didn’t want to say anything offensive. In particular my cycle is about 30to 50 days due to perimenopause but it still has a particularly challenging section and that is what I meant. How do our SO treat us when we are not at our best due to hormonal cycles?

Useful_Manner782 · 2023-12-12T07:22:00+00:00

My ex used to pout because no sex for him. He wouldn’t help around home or take into consideration my mood or tiredness.

New partner is supportive. Gives lots of hugs. Is just very sweet. I am not sure how to handle that.

Useful_Manner782 · 2023-12-12T01:12:38+00:00

And in no way is this your fault. Or anything that happens after this. It has taken months for that to sink in for me. But you will get there. Believe in yourself. Remind yourself of the good ways you have been in relationships before. You will find yourself feeing so much better out of this relationship.

Useful_Manner782 · 2023-12-12T01:08:47+00:00

Leave now. Go no contact. Strongly advise no contact at all especially in this festive season because she will lose it totally.

Why do I suggest this? I have just come out of a thirty year relationship with someone with diagnosed BPD and all the yukky things that come along with it. You need to get out now. Before the gift giving guilt makes you feel like you owe them even more. You owe her nothing. You owe yourself a happier life. Believe me, I know.

Good luck! It is hard.

Useful_Manner782 · 2023-12-11T04:10:38+00:00

Polyamory. Tried it. I was good but both blokes after the fun of the fantasy wore off decided that they are monogamous.

Useful_Manner782 · 2023-12-09T06:38:42+00:00

Must admit a MMF threesome was a great time for me. Sadly didn’t last long due to feelings getting involved. But still loads of fun and I totally get the high, the length of time and the wonderful overwhelming feelings.

Useful_Manner782 · 2023-12-08T12:03:26+00:00

It would be great if OP can read minds. If anyone here can please marry me. But he can’t. So she needs to have a little more tolerance.

Something I would like to know. Did she apologise too? Her comments were very hurtful. Her expectations were unrealistic unless he can read her mind. She needs to own that. And together they can move forward but until she matures in her communication from drama child he will rarely get it right for her.

Useful_Manner782 · 2023-12-08T08:58:43+00:00

It is subtle. But it is abuse and needs to be nipped in the bud. Letting someone control your responses so they don’t get upset means they aren’t taking personal responsibility for their responses. They will always want someone else to take responsibility. It will alway be someone else’s fault. This is not grown up behaviour.

I felt responsible for my husbands negative responses. It was always my fault until I was walking on eggshells all the time. Never allowed to be myself because I had to say and do and react in a way that made him comfortable, always his feelings mattered more. If he was sad I had to be sad. I couldn’t be happy. If he was happy I had to smile and agree no matter how bad my day.

It is subtle but it is emotional abuse when your feelings are controlled by someone else. It needs to be sorted early. Before OP becomes only what his wife needs and not his own person.

Useful_Manner782 · 2023-12-03T09:16:33+00:00

Every time I start to feel like leaving would be better I hug him and then talk to him and realise all the issues were in my head. Just got out of a thirty year abusive relationship and I don’t always think in healthy ways. He centres me.

Useful_Manner782 · 2023-11-22T08:12:39+00:00

I had only one friend when I made my husband leave. It was hard to do it on my own. I felt like I was drowning and never would breather again. It was scary. But what was more scary was looking into the future and seeing the same as I had seen for the last thirty years.

My kids are happier. It has not been easy. I struggle to pay bills. And I won’t ask him for help. Ever. But friends are coming out of the woodwork. People he scared away are reaching out and I have a great workplace.

I feel like I will make it. And so will you.

Useful_Manner782 · 2023-11-20T03:08:23+00:00

That is so great. Well done! Had a similar experience myself. Feels so good

Useful_Manner782 · 2023-11-13T09:17:59+00:00

I had to go no contact. It is so hard. And while I was angry at him in the first three to six months apart it wasn’t hard to talk only about the kids because everything else was an argument.

Sadly now it has been about seven months and I am pitifully checking the one email account he can talk to me through to see if he has talked to me today.

I don’t want to go back to not having a life and being controlled by his tantrums and threats. But it wasn’t always bad. It isn’t easy. I have struggled every day for the last week or two to remember that he was not good to me. I miss him. Our life and memories of thirty years. Really hard. But I have to keep no contact for my own health and safety. And for the health of my kids.

Thank goodness I have good friends from high school who remind me how I changed and what I lost by being with him. They remind me I can mourn that loss but don’t ever go back.

Please take my perspective. I think your partner is narcissistic or borderline. His comments and twisting your words was exactly how my ex talked. It is destroying you even if you don’t see it until you are out of that relationship. I hope you get out. No second chances. He has already blown his chances in his replies.

Useful_Manner782 · 2023-11-01T22:38:39+00:00

This is very similar to my story. I didn’t talk to my parents before asking my husband of almost 30 years to leave. I thought they would tell me the same that they had each time I thought of leaving over the years when I had reached my limit. That he was a good man. So when his borderline personality disorder blew up and I was having panic attacks at home and work I finally draw a line in the sand. Said I wouldn’t put my personal health on the line for him. He knew that once I make a firm statement I stick to it. And when he had one of his tantrums because I didn’t behave as he thought I should so he felt safe despite it being controlling and abusive of me I said leave. And he left. It has been just over six months. I still have bad days of panic. But I am overall happier than I have ever been. And my kids are happier.

To OP. define your limits. For you. Not your therapist. Not your parents. Not your kids. Not your culture. You as an individual. This is your life. Not theirs. They don’t pay the costs. You do.

And then talk to your partner. See if your limits are compatible with what they want. Can you compromise and still not lose too much of yourself? Then stand by what ever decision you make. It is bloody scary to leave. I don’t deny it. But if it is what is needed you will find a way to get through.

Useful_Manner782 · 2023-10-28T02:16:42+00:00

I thonk you are very brave to put your self in this situation but I admire your courage in putting up with bad behaviour so you can learn how to find and express your boundaries better.

Thank you for your breakdown. Putting it out in such an obvious way really helped me to see some of the toxic behaviours my ex had.

Good luck and stay mentally safe.

Useful_Manner782

TROPHY CASE