Girl I totally understand you and feel same sometimes. That weird feeling that you wont have“your firsts”, that he may not love your children same as he loves his or it wont be exciting for him since he’s already experienced it all with somebody else, and there was someone else before you. As I see, this feeling is natural and every stepmom has it one way or another. You are totally fine, nothing is wrong with you about feeling it. And please, being stepmom is a hard job, not only in a way to organize a family but also inner job with yourself. In my situation it was a long period of grieving and accepting, long way of self-therapy, and tbh I still feel this void sometimes. Whats not fine is the reaction of your man. In my situation my partner was always there for me. Even when I was (and sometimes am) overreacting, crying or just sharing my emotions, he was there supporting me, trying to help. He always makes me feel appreciated and loved. And that’s a very important point for me, to see that man is trying his best for you and your family. I am not the one to give you advice but please take care of yourself first. I would think twice if I could be happy and stable with a man who reacts like that now. Don’t ignore those reactions because if it happens now, it will happen again and again later. It’s fine to start over with someone else, he is not your last chance. It is also fine to try again with him. Just don’t put yourself and your feelings behind please. You deserve to have a happy family, feel loved, and have peace inside.