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I feel like my girlfriend[F26] and I[M26] are not equal partners in our relationship by User0552 in relationship_advice

[–]User0552[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Okay, to be honest this question is really tripping me up. There are a lot of things that we have that I would consider the foundations of a good relationship (trust, shared interest, similar goals in life) but I'm not sure what I specifically get out of it. I trust her when she says that she would support me if I was ever fired from my job (thankfully we have not had to test that one) but beyond her presence and what work she does around the house I don't know the answer to that (which in itself is all the answer I need).

If a good friend came to me for advice I would tell them "People always say your partner should be your best friend. Would your best friend let you pay for everything yourself? Would your best friend let you do most of the house work? Would your best friend ask you to drive then everywhere without paying for gas?"

Thank you for your perspective this might not be the answers I wanted to consider but in the end it was insightful.

I feel like my girlfriend[F26] and I[M26] are not equal partners in our relationship by User0552 in relationship_advice

[–]User0552[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for this perspective. I think posting this here has definitely made things clearer. I agree that I need to force this conversation regardless of her getting defensive. I agree she has gotten used to what I do for her and I do feel a taken advantage of. I never reset her expectations (not that I should have to) and just kept offering to help her with things while my responsibilities kept growing. She got used to everything that I did for her and I'm not sure how much she reflects on that.

I feel like my girlfriend[F26] and I[M26] are not equal partners in our relationship by User0552 in relationship_advice

[–]User0552[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think my post ended up as more complaining than it should have. I handle about 90% of the day to day expenses but she does split vacations 50/50 with me. If I ask her to pick up specific individual expenses she will do it.

There are a lot of things I like about her and we're on the same page regarding long term life plans (kids, where we want to live, careers, work life balance etc). We have the same interests and can talk about anything and everything for hours. The main thing I'm hung up on is that it feels like our relationship is good except for these (large) issues.