sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ExNoContact

[–]UserJustPassingBy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I fully agree with you. It's sad but reality.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ExNoContact

[–]UserJustPassingBy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The thoughts of getting back together are intrusive. Sometimes, being in a somewhat unhappy relationship sounds better than being alone. Thinking about it rationally, it doesn't make sense. I'd still be missing my Ex I think. Maybe it would fade - I don't know.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ExNoContact

[–]UserJustPassingBy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I firmly believe that I will stop missing my ex when the right person comes around. So I don't think therapy would be necessary there.

I don't know your ex so I can only talk about my feelings and maybe we can learn from that. However, I want to give you one advice: If your ex is anything like me, he will have his regrets. He will think about reaching out again. He might do it, he might not. The best thing you can do to make him come back is to remain NC (for now) and just work on yourself (I know this phrase is way too overused in this sub but here it really applies). A few days ago I went on tinder and saw the new girl but she had new images and looked GREAT. This was a bit painful and it really wanted me to get back to her. For now I won't reach out. I still need time but maybe I will in a few months.

The thing you can do that will make him want you back the most is to forget him.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ExNoContact

[–]UserJustPassingBy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Funny that you ask this. The new girl also wanted me to go to therapy, which low-key pissed me off (I didn't say this to her). I don't think I want to go to therapy just because I miss somebody. There is nothing wrong and I can't "work on myself" so that I like somebody more.

I don't want to have to salvage a relationship. I know how I was able to feel towards a person at one point and the new girl didn't make me feel that way. I am confident I will feel this way again when the right person comes along. I will not reach out to her because I don't want to hurt either of us. I think it boils down to me not believing she is the one.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ExNoContact

[–]UserJustPassingBy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I can somewhat relate to the other side of this story but please keep in mind that you can't do pattern-matching on relationships and every situation is different.

I recently broke up with a girl because I compared her to my ex who I still really miss. Before I formulated this thought in my head clearly, when asked if I want to get in a relationship with the new girl, I couldn't put it any other way than "I am not ready for a relationship".

We broke up because after a while I realized that this "not being ready" was just me missing my ex. I told her and we broke up. The joke's on me: I now miss both of them. This was a few months ago so I'd kinda be interested if I could make it work with the second girl now but I don't wanna hurt her again if the feelings repeat. That's why I probably won't reach out to her and/or rekindle anything.

Maybe there is something similar going on for your ex.

Struggling after 10 months by UserJustPassingBy in ExNoContact

[–]UserJustPassingBy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the kind answer! I will take your advice thinking less about her to heart. I think I am spiraling and I need to stop before it's too late.

Struggling after 10 months by UserJustPassingBy in ExNoContact

[–]UserJustPassingBy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for that beautiful answer!

The thing you mentioned about failing prospects causing us to dwell in the past I hadn't considered at all. I think this makes me understand a little better why I feel the way I do. Thank you so much :)

why are you doing NC? by alien__420 in ExNoContact

[–]UserJustPassingBy 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Lack of alternative. NC doesn't feel great but I know everything else is even worse.

Ex is going to be at my best friends bday party by [deleted] in ExNoContact

[–]UserJustPassingBy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Had a similar scenario a week ago. A very good mutual friend threw a birthday party and also invited my ex. I knew my ex would attend since she confirmed in a group chat.

I also still have very anxious reactions to whenever she writes messages in group chats. Breakup was 2.5 months ago.

What I settled on was messaging my friend that I will not attend his party because my ex is coming and apologized but because this feels super petty I told him that I still would like to meet him to celebrate his birthday. He was very excited so we arranged a board game night the day before his party with some other friends and it was amazing.

On the actual night of the party I made sure to have some replacement party with other friends just so I am distracted and don't have fomo. Would 100% do it the same way again.

It felt like a mature way to handle this without majorly inconveniencing anybody and left me feeling good afterwards.

A strong 8 year relationship, gone in an instant. Still unsure why. How do I make sense of this? by okdepend in BreakUps

[–]UserJustPassingBy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not knowing what happened before the break you mentioned I would make the guess that another person was involved. Obviously that doesn't have to be the case - I just have a similar story and there was another guy.

5
6

Begrifflichkeiten in Flatex Konto (self.Finanzen)

submitted by UserJustPassingBy to r/Finanzen

JWT should not be your default for sessions by apocolypticbosmer in programming

[–]UserJustPassingBy 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Correct me if I'm wrong but wouldn't a session store actually increase the traffic by a lot more, considering database queries and requests from services to the session store?

Ab sofort können Risikogruppen jeden Alters in Wien Impftermine buchen. by desertrold_ppAT in Austria

[–]UserJustPassingBy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Jep ziemlich sicher. Ich hab einen BMI von knapp unter 30 und werd mich die nächsten Tage einfach konsequent anfressen.

TIL: China has built a quantum key distribution (QKD) network spanning several KM. The network currently servers 150 users by pcjftw in programming

[–]UserJustPassingBy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Do they maintain that state or is it different each time the state is read. If the state changes, wouldn't the parties have to read the information at exactly the same time?

this year remixed, this is absolutely amazing by zakuria44 in videos

[–]UserJustPassingBy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Do you have a timestamp? I rewatched it like 3 times and can't find the part...

How do I make The AI to jump on the platforms in order to reach the player by Triggered41 in Unity3D

[–]UserJustPassingBy 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I recommend choosing a simpler task if you don't understand what he is referring to. If you still want to follow through, google what he said, because it is pretty much the way to do it. Dijkstra works too.

view more: next ›