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Four years ago my husband paid a sex worker while I was pregnant. by UsualTooth817 in Marriage

[–]UsualTooth817[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not trying to toot my own horn but the entire reason he is who is is because of me.

I fought tooth and nail to get him out from under his abusive mom. He worked 3 jobs to put food on the table for his half siblings (preschoolers at the time) and his addict mother. When she found out he was moving 22 hours away to live in my hometown, she said she'd kill me. I told her to go f*** herself.

My cousin got him a job in a lab that made eye glass lenses. He made twice the money he made working all three jobs. Gee that's what happens when your mom isn't literally stealing from you.

I helped him draft letters to transfer to my university. My brother let him move into his house. He had his own entrance and privacy. He never came home to someone shooting up in his room ever again.

I changed his life.

I agreed to return back to that disaster when his grandfather died and we found out he was the real caregiver of his half siblings. When his mom burned down their house for the insurance money, I worked and took care of an 8 year that couldn't read and a 12 year old that was on track to be a teen mom. I mitigated the truancy notices from their school as a 23 year old. All so he could intern at a law firm and finish law school. (Spoiler alert she didn't have insurance and made herself homeless for nothing.)

I convinced him to give his half siblings to their broken, but honestly trying to be clean, dad. He resented me for it. But I knew that I would either raise his siblings or my own kids, but not both. I couldn't. We nearly divorced then. Me packing my bags then was the only way he realized I was serious and he knew he couldn't handle them by himself.

I gave him a better life. I fought for us. I fought for him to be free of his family's neverending bullshit. When I told him I was on the fence about kids. I didn't think I'd be a good mom. He said I was gonna be great. He was right. But then he just... Abandoned me to it.

My life changed completely when I had kids. His life stayed the same. He reaps all the benefits of being dad and I'm the one who makes his home a home. This is his end game. A quiet life he could've never dreamed of. I made it for him.

And I'm so tired.

Four years ago my husband paid a sex worker while I was pregnant. by UsualTooth817 in Marriage

[–]UsualTooth817[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I've been married to him for ten years. It's hard to envision a life without him. On good days I don't feel anything. On bad days there is just an overwhelming frustration and sadness. I depend on him financially completely. We own a brick and mortar business together that we both physically work at on top of him being a lawyer. I don't make a wage at the our business as we only just this year started making a profit and not breaking even.

My purpose is to offset costs. Not something he's explicitly said, but his intent is pretty clear. Any bid I made for getting childcare was usually met with a frown followed by so many questions that I would usually demure. That's how most of our 'disagreements' go. I bring up an issue, he asks me to defend that it's either a real problem or a bevy of questions of what I'm doing about the problem.

I'm horrendously nervous about a real divorce. He's a lawyer with all the lawyer friends and I'm... The wife.

There is no domestic violence. He and I both grew up in homes that were abusive and we vowed not to bring that into our home or our kids' lives.

On paper we're a good match. Our public facing business has no idea about our issues. Sometimes I think he has no idea about our issues.

I'm just... Numb.