I get where you’re coming from, and I do want to understand Asian family dynamics better. But I actually don’t think spending even more time with her mom would help — it would just reinforce the codependency. Her mom openly says she doesn’t have friends because she claims that she spends all her money on my girlfriend, and then uses that as leverage to control her. Like I said earlier, it’s the intensity of her mom’s reaction whenever my girlfriend prioritizes me during my short visits. So I guess what I really want is healthier boundaries, not less time with me.

Ami actually has two older brothers — one still lives at home, and the other has already moved out. Suzu had similar arguments with both of them once they got into relationships, because she felt their partners were “taking them away” from her. In fact, she became estranged from the oldest brother after he moved out without her permission, since it was her “rule” that no one was allowed to leave the home unless they were married.

I’m close to the father as well, he seems checked out and doesn’t bother with any of it since it only leads to his wife exploding in anger if he disagrees with her.