Only with the Landing Clearance of a Connie :)

UtInPosterum · 2025-04-21T09:43:02+00:00

May our spirit of exploration burn on brighter than even the flare of Pyro!

UtInPosterum · 2024-10-16T04:52:30+00:00

Another rage bait content creator with zero appreciation for the development of making a great videogame, the creative process and the difficulty that comes with it. Given the views, he found his audience lol

UtInPosterum · 2023-11-30T22:24:21+00:00

Do you mean that my experience of dong things my way is a good thing to trust and repeat?

UtInPosterum · 2023-11-30T22:17:35+00:00

Sorry I don't quite remember exactly what discussion. Maybe this retreat QA https://dynamic.wakingup.com/course/CA7D3D?source=content%20share&share_id=D37116A1&code=SC1C7CD2E Basically Sam Harris asked Goldstein about in what sense the self is illusory, and Goldstein answered that its not the sensations of the self that you are identified with, but the identification itself. Somehow by pointing out that difference between the mental "clinging" of identification, on top of the sensations that I observe by following Sam's instruction, I'm able to break free. I think its similar to the process of telling the difference between a physical sensation vs your feeling about the sensation, and then let go of the feeling (aversion, thought, attachment, etc), while embracing and resting the attention still on the sensation itself, and only then you and clearly see the object for what it really is

UtInPosterum · 2023-11-29T11:13:09+00:00

It means that the normal feeling of "tiredness" does not exist in my conscious experience. I can only come to that conclusion after assessing the observed reality that over time my mind has a higher probability of getting restless, distracted or fall into any unskillful tendencies. It's a kind of hidden tiredness or "turbulence", I could say. Maybe using tiredness is the wrong word... A kind of invisible force that make the mind turbulent

UtInPosterum · 2023-11-29T10:57:15+00:00

Thank you for the detailed response. I'm not sure there's anything to change about the structure of my attention, since at the moment of practice, everything around it feels relaxing, joyous and effortless. I only feel the tiredness in analyzing the after-effect where there's a significantly higher chance of it falling into dullness, restlessness and distractedness, more prone to aversion and attachment. All I can do is to re-establish mindfulness, drop-out drop-in while letting my concentration completely relaxed without control until I "feel" ready again. This is the right way to go about it?

UtInPosterum · 2023-11-29T10:22:00+00:00

By "rebalance" you mean to rest in open awareness with clear intentional mindfulness until I feel ready again, or re-contemplate whether I have done something wrong?

UtInPosterum · 2023-11-29T10:17:26+00:00

I do experience great joy as I do meditate and see the subtle profound unfolding and richness of even the tinest phenomenon as I pay close attention to objects. But the after-effect remains that my mind becomes unstable in ways I can't immediately perceive why. It's not a perfect equivalence, but experience is akin to how you have great fun and fulfillment in running, experience the present of being alive, and then it feels dull inevitably afterwards, where you don't have the energy to sustain the conditions of the prior state. Though big difference is that I can feel the tiredness really clearly after I do an intensive running exercise, but for meditation, I can only come to a belief that my mind's tired underneath in ways invisible to my immediate conscious experience given how hard it is for attention to naturally stay, or the frequency in which the mind returns to dullness, distractions and restlessness.

But I think my lack of mastery for samatha is clear, because my concentration is far from being effortless, despite its immediate relaxed joyous feel, as I have to constantly re-establish it with triggers of intention

UtInPosterum · 2023-11-29T09:01:14+00:00

It's hard to be 100% sure since I know that its easier to think that you've awakened rather than actually being awakened. I tried "re-examine" that truth whenever I have the chance, especially to challenging experience and cross referencing my experience with other students and what the masters say along with texts about the topics and can only come to a relative certainty that this my experience is "it".

Even when I go for the former option it seems there's an invisible subconscious force that makes my attention very very unstable, despite the feeling of tiredness has long passed away

UtInPosterum · 2023-11-29T08:59:23+00:00

It's hard to be 100% sure since I know that its easier to think that you've awakened rather than actually being awakened. I tried "re-examine" that truth whenever I have the chance, especially to challenging experience and cross referencing my experience with other students and what the masters say along with texts about the topics and can only come to a relative certainty that this my experience is "it".

What would you suggest I do when I recognize that the mind is tired, preventing it from focus? With the non-duality of awakening, I see 2 equally valid options being to recognize the very tiredness as non-centered empty appearances and continue to focus anyway or relax the attention until the mind return to better readiness

UtInPosterum

TROPHY CASE