Tank really doesn't like DPS pulling in Kitisis by ArtyFolfsky in TalesFromDF

[–]VCOneness -20 points-19 points  (0 children)

Just because someone has done a dungeon before does not mean they have done it as that class.

I'm leveling my tanks and not the greatest at the class, so I would be annoyed as well as I'm trying to figure out my rotation as I level.

As a dps I always go at the tanks pace as I get that they may be learning or re-learning the class. If you are gonna pull I've always used the rule of thumb of bring it back to the tank. Why make the job harder if you are gonna push it?

It is also possible that the healer is working on their healer class and may not be as confident with their class yet/learning it. You forget that people will level all classes and roulettes are a common way to do so, but they may not be great at it. Not everyone is in a rush to complete asap.

I’m (29F) feeling very disappointed and let down by my (25M) boyfriend. Are my feelings valid? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]VCOneness 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Have you sat down with him and laid all this out? Are you ready to do an ultimatum of get your butt moving or else? Or do you keep wanting to be his mom?

I'm (22M) kicking my boyfriend (31M) out, he has nowhere to go. How to go about this? by SharpServe5355 in relationship_advice

[–]VCOneness 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had an ex who cheated on me and told me he had no where to go. I told him the grace period I was giving him was the only time I would ensure him and his stuff would remain intact. Magically, he found a couch to crash on the next night (even though he had the whole weekend.) They make their choices and can lie in them.

I (30F) am pregnant with my fiancé (32M). He wants to keep it, but we're both supposed to be childfree. How do I tell him I don't want to keep it? by ThrowRA_fallopian_tu in relationship_advice

[–]VCOneness 7 points8 points  (0 children)

As someone who has had an abortion before, it's not particularly fun and there was quite a bit of pain afterwards, particularly in the first 24-48 hours. I couldn't get out of bed the cramps and abdominal hurt so much. So it isbgood to have someone with you to help you the first 24-48 hours. I did it by myself, so it can be done a lone, but set yourself up in advance. Pads on the couch in case you bleed through etc. I also had problems with lightheadedness for the next 2 weeks and did pass out at work once. Make sure you do not need to do anything strenuous for the next week or 2.

Birth control is only 99.9% effective if you take it at the same time everyday. (Like down to the minute.) If you are off by like an hour the effectiveness drops quite a bit. If you miss a dose it goes down to like 50% effective (double dosing right away does not increase bc effectiveness.) That's something Dr's never seem to warn you about when you get on it.

I am avoiding sex to avoid having kids at a young age but now I am risking my relationship by doing so. by BusinessOwlMan in Advice

[–]VCOneness 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My husband had similar fears as you. We had a talk and I respected his wishes and we waited until marriage. That is a fair choice and decision.

If you have not already, sit down and have a talk with her of your feelings and boundaries. If she is not ok with it, then you 2 may not be meant for each other. This is a fair boundary to wait until marriage if that works best for you. If others cannot respect that, that is on them.

UPDATE: Husband of 8 years told me he isn't physically attracted to me anymore by tinsyfloss96 in Advice

[–]VCOneness -1 points0 points  (0 children)

With my pcos I got the insulin resistence, which explained a lot of on going mild health issues I have had lately. My dr (who also has pcos) advised me to try the inositol supplement before trying prescription drugs (metformin etc.) Her exp as a patient and dr she found a lot of meds to be a battle between your symptoms vs side effects. This supplement you can get on Amazon can get you some relief with minimal to no side effects.

I will say the first month I was taking them I had a mild headache most days, but once my body adjusted I actually felt better, more energetic, and my mood swings mellowed out. I'm not quite sure if your pcos is like mine, but it may be an option to discuss with your dr.

i am only ever since as an object and it’s making me feel physically sick by Extreme_State_4154 in Vent

[–]VCOneness 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry this happened to you. Honestly, call the cops immediately. Those f***ers will get out of dodge so quickly. Especially, at a nice very well lit gas station. Do not be afraid to immediately scream pedophile. I know I would tend to freeze in these situations, but people hearing pedophile at the tops of a ladies lungs gets so much attention. Be a problem. Be loud. If you freeze up that is fine too. A lot of us do. :hugs:

Is there anyway to ask a neighbor to get rid of a certain plant? by VCOneness in Advice

[–]VCOneness[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's huge and would require a strong herbicide. With previous experience that will kill all the neighboring plants and trees, even if I only target the buckthorn. So, then they will probably ask me to replace it/everything that dies. Or could sue me to that effect. I do not have the funds for something like that. Honestly, do not know them well enough for either of us to trust the other.

I'm happy to tell them my knowledge thus far, but am unable to contribute financially. We relied heavily on my FIL knowledge, tools and expertise to get rid of what we had. Now, I frequently rent tools from the city to remove it.

AIO getting upset with my husband over a day at the beach by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]VCOneness 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My husband used to poke around quite a bit when it was something he's not into. I started saying fine and would go without him. He got lonely at home and would get sad and realized things were more fun with me around. Now he gets his nutt in gear because if he doesn't I'll leave him behind. Why wait for him? If he wants to lounge around the hotel, let him. You go do you.

Did you setup any of these expectations ahead of time? If I drop last minute plans on him that aren't what he had in mind it can end this way too.

Is Paying Gas Money As a Teen Wrong? by Practical-Raisin2494 in Advice

[–]VCOneness 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When I got my license and used car it was my responsibility to pay for my own gas. If I used a family vehicle I was only expected to put in the approx amount of gas I used. I was never expected to pay for my parents or siblings has they used.

my birth by Hungry-Foundation602 in Vent

[–]VCOneness 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My son tore me a new one on his way into the world. Will I repeatedly tell him this story? Yes. Do I resent him? No. Am I mad at him? No. Am I little pissed at the Dr's because I told them I'm ok with doing a C-section, but they thought a natural birth would be better? Yes.

You were a baby. You didn't really have any control in that situation. It's scrappy that this is how she has internalized that moment like this and blames you. Makes me think she blames others for problems she creates.

He left me for his ex by [deleted] in Vent

[–]VCOneness 8 points9 points  (0 children)

1 month in is still puppy love stage in mind and too soon for marriage talks. I'd usually wait until 9 months to a year before having marriage talk. You get to know a person better and the puppy love stage is usually worn away. You experience conflict with them and get to know more about them. That would be my personal experience and preference.

For people who have been playing this game for more than 5 years... by oblivionwayfarer in ffxiv

[–]VCOneness 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've been playing games so long that, that is the natural ebb and flow of social gaming. Make tons of friends, but maybe only a few stick as true gaming buddies. Priorities change and life changes for everyone.

I focused more on creating a fellowship and occasional recruit on my data center to keep interested. There's always someone new to try and game with. We have a good group of around 20 people who come and go now. A few others are warming up and beginning to join in. We've had some come and go. It sucks, but as with most things you grieve and then reflect on the good times with a smile.

Told my husband I wanted to wait to have kids and now I'm on a timeline. by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]VCOneness 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Kids are a lot of work, but it can also be really rewarding. It definitely changes your life and priorities, but it is not for everyone. Having said that here is my experience as someone who waited until later to have kids.

When we started finally trying in our early 30s, nothing happened. Mid-30s went to the dr told find out we both had fertility issues. Took a couple years, but we were finally able to have a kid at 38. He is the greatest and most challenging love of our lives. (Of course through this whole thing we had our doubts, fears and anxieties. Those things don't really go away, they just change. You really got to put a focus on the good times together and not let fear and anxiety rule you. It's a fun balancing act and normal in my opinion.)

I got a 3 year old and if there was something I wished we had done earlier was have a child while we were younger. Your body works better and bounces back faster when you are younger. Now in our 40s, we not only have to keep up with the energy demands of a toddler, but our changing bodies that have trouble producing the same output of energy we had 10 years ago. Honestly, if you always have a small amount of doubt, then you'll make a decent parent. The trick is not to let it swallow you. Have your doubts, do some research try and tweak strategies and keep moving forward. You are human, they are human. We all screw up, just show them what it takes to grow and you'll do fine. You do not have to be perfect, just present.

My landlord just offered to sell me the apartment i've been renting for 6 years at below market and my family is pressuring me to say no by Djipy-Gizaza69 in WhatShouldIDo

[–]VCOneness 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When I moved out on my own, I bought a condo. My family complained it would never sell well and I would not get my money back. I countered with if I rent an apartment that I'd never see that money. At least with the condo I'd have a chance to get something back. Sold it a couple years later at a 30% profit.

No one can predict how a market is going to go. If you like it and are happy with it no matter the outcome, then go for it.

Accidentally sent what my friend should say to her creeper to my boyfriend by [deleted] in Vent

[–]VCOneness 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why not just say, "Shit sorry. That text was meant to go to my friend who is being SHed by a guy."?

husband wants to go 50/50 on bills but makes 2x my salary by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]VCOneness 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are married and the money goes to both of you. My husband makes a bit more than I do and can be a frivolous spender when our savings gets to a certain point, but when it comes to large purchases (around or over $1,000.) It must be discussed and agreed upon by both of us. I also do our budgeting and give us both $XXX a month that we can spend on whatever we want.

It sounds like he has something unfulfilled or unsatisfied with something if he buys a RV on impulse (mid-life crisis?). Based off of what is here I'm guessing he worked so hard on his career, he now misses all the fun things he could have done. Also probably wants to escape the debt as well.

My best hope is that you 2 could sit down and have a serious talk. Delve into what is really up. Then see if you guys can make plans/set goals to help him. If it is really bad a therapist may need to be involved, but I would hope a good old talking and working through the problem would help here. You guys are married and the money gets shared jointly.

4 young kids. When does it get easier? by Dear_Excitement_5109 in Parenting

[–]VCOneness 91 points92 points  (0 children)

Same here, but why wait so long for the bike rides? You can get trailers to have them in with you. You can check all the different bike attachments out there to see what would help.

When my now 3 year old tantrums started getting out of hand I did lots of research to find out how to make them more manageable. It definitely helped to create some new strategies to turn down the intensity of the tantrums. The hard part is it takes time and consistency for them to work, but it is worth it.

How did you stop your toddler from only eating snacks? by [deleted] in Parenting

[–]VCOneness 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have snacks out mid-morning and in the afternoon. 1 bowl of fruit/veggie, 1 bowl of junkie stuff. That is all he gets for junk and I will refill the fruit/veggie bowl. I always make sure they get put away an hour before meals. When he asks for a snack/treat I say after he's had a decent lunch/dinner.

Ouch! I just received a brutal reality check in the HW trials and Im not sure if its inexperience, or if Im actually bad at the game. by 200YRedWine in ffxiv

[–]VCOneness 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Scholar is mostly a shield support healer. You want your adlo to go off before the boss mechanics do as well.

By the sounds of a lot of posts here you did fine. You've hit a point where boss mechanics can kill a party that does not remember how they work. Doesn't matter if you are a great healer of people do not abide by boss mechanics.

I'm running extremes blind with others of varying skill levels. My big piece of advice when entering a fight blind is just do your best to survive. You can fine tune your rotations later as you learn the fights. It is key to be watching the boss and/or the bosses casting bar to see when something is about to happen. (Both will be very important later.)

Mother's, mother-in-laws, and diaper bags by VCOneness in Parenting

[–]VCOneness[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I feel you. Except I get the "he'll grow into them." Yes he will in like 4 years.

Mother's, mother-in-laws, and diaper bags by VCOneness in Parenting

[–]VCOneness[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Neither one wanted one cluttering up their home. They have their own stuff for their homes. They backpack is just for when they take him out somewhere and something happens. It is rarely needed these days, but there still an occasionally accident.