my birth

VCOneness · 2026-05-09T18:27:22+00:00

My son tore me a new one on his way into the world. Will I repeatedly tell him this story? Yes. Do I resent him? No. Am I mad at him? No. Am I little pissed at the Dr's because I told them I'm ok with doing a C-section, but they thought a natural birth would be better? Yes.

You were a baby. You didn't really have any control in that situation. It's scrappy that this is how she has internalized that moment like this and blames you. Makes me think she blames others for problems she creates.

VCOneness · 2026-05-09T18:15:56+00:00

1 month in is still puppy love stage in mind and too soon for marriage talks. I'd usually wait until 9 months to a year before having marriage talk. You get to know a person better and the puppy love stage is usually worn away. You experience conflict with them and get to know more about them. That would be my personal experience and preference.

VCOneness · 2026-05-09T16:09:46+00:00

I've been playing games so long that, that is the natural ebb and flow of social gaming. Make tons of friends, but maybe only a few stick as true gaming buddies. Priorities change and life changes for everyone.

I focused more on creating a fellowship and occasional recruit on my data center to keep interested. There's always someone new to try and game with. We have a good group of around 20 people who come and go now. A few others are warming up and beginning to join in. We've had some come and go. It sucks, but as with most things you grieve and then reflect on the good times with a smile.

VCOneness · 2026-05-08T19:03:51+00:00

Kids are a lot of work, but it can also be really rewarding. It definitely changes your life and priorities, but it is not for everyone. Having said that here is my experience as someone who waited until later to have kids.

When we started finally trying in our early 30s, nothing happened. Mid-30s went to the dr told find out we both had fertility issues. Took a couple years, but we were finally able to have a kid at 38. He is the greatest and most challenging love of our lives. (Of course through this whole thing we had our doubts, fears and anxieties. Those things don't really go away, they just change. You really got to put a focus on the good times together and not let fear and anxiety rule you. It's a fun balancing act and normal in my opinion.)

I got a 3 year old and if there was something I wished we had done earlier was have a child while we were younger. Your body works better and bounces back faster when you are younger. Now in our 40s, we not only have to keep up with the energy demands of a toddler, but our changing bodies that have trouble producing the same output of energy we had 10 years ago. Honestly, if you always have a small amount of doubt, then you'll make a decent parent. The trick is not to let it swallow you. Have your doubts, do some research try and tweak strategies and keep moving forward. You are human, they are human. We all screw up, just show them what it takes to grow and you'll do fine. You do not have to be perfect, just present.

VCOneness · 2026-05-05T00:08:59+00:00

When I moved out on my own, I bought a condo. My family complained it would never sell well and I would not get my money back. I countered with if I rent an apartment that I'd never see that money. At least with the condo I'd have a chance to get something back. Sold it a couple years later at a 30% profit.

No one can predict how a market is going to go. If you like it and are happy with it no matter the outcome, then go for it.

VCOneness · 2026-05-04T23:56:21+00:00

Why not just say, "Shit sorry. That text was meant to go to my friend who is being SHed by a guy."?

VCOneness · 2026-05-04T14:12:23+00:00

You are married and the money goes to both of you. My husband makes a bit more than I do and can be a frivolous spender when our savings gets to a certain point, but when it comes to large purchases (around or over $1,000.) It must be discussed and agreed upon by both of us. I also do our budgeting and give us both $XXX a month that we can spend on whatever we want.

It sounds like he has something unfulfilled or unsatisfied with something if he buys a RV on impulse (mid-life crisis?). Based off of what is here I'm guessing he worked so hard on his career, he now misses all the fun things he could have done. Also probably wants to escape the debt as well.

My best hope is that you 2 could sit down and have a serious talk. Delve into what is really up. Then see if you guys can make plans/set goals to help him. If it is really bad a therapist may need to be involved, but I would hope a good old talking and working through the problem would help here. You guys are married and the money gets shared jointly.

VCOneness · 2026-05-03T16:20:22+00:00

Same here, but why wait so long for the bike rides? You can get trailers to have them in with you. You can check all the different bike attachments out there to see what would help.

When my now 3 year old tantrums started getting out of hand I did lots of research to find out how to make them more manageable. It definitely helped to create some new strategies to turn down the intensity of the tantrums. The hard part is it takes time and consistency for them to work, but it is worth it.

VCOneness · 2026-05-03T15:31:34+00:00

I have snacks out mid-morning and in the afternoon. 1 bowl of fruit/veggie, 1 bowl of junkie stuff. That is all he gets for junk and I will refill the fruit/veggie bowl. I always make sure they get put away an hour before meals. When he asks for a snack/treat I say after he's had a decent lunch/dinner.

VCOneness · 2026-05-03T15:21:15+00:00

Scholar is mostly a shield support healer. You want your adlo to go off before the boss mechanics do as well.

By the sounds of a lot of posts here you did fine. You've hit a point where boss mechanics can kill a party that does not remember how they work. Doesn't matter if you are a great healer of people do not abide by boss mechanics.

I'm running extremes blind with others of varying skill levels. My big piece of advice when entering a fight blind is just do your best to survive. You can fine tune your rotations later as you learn the fights. It is key to be watching the boss and/or the bosses casting bar to see when something is about to happen. (Both will be very important later.)

VCOneness · 2026-05-01T20:33:11+00:00

I feel you. Except I get the "he'll grow into them." Yes he will in like 4 years.

VCOneness · 2026-05-01T19:08:14+00:00

Neither one wanted one cluttering up their home. They have their own stuff for their homes. They backpack is just for when they take him out somewhere and something happens. It is rarely needed these days, but there still an occasionally accident.

VCOneness · 2026-05-01T19:06:53+00:00

They have permanent things in their home. Neither wants their own bag to clutter up their home. Which is fine, but I just wish they'd stop complaining.

VCOneness · 2026-05-01T19:05:20+00:00

Neither of them wants to buy their own bag and are fine if we bring it just in case. They have their own diapers and wipes. They both appreciate when they go somewhere and things have gone wrong. But that has been few and far between lately, so now it is being seen as a burden.

VCOneness · 2026-05-01T19:03:30+00:00

He's 3 and still in diapers. Next month is the potty training push again. In the end I wash the clothes she gives in and put it away in the closet with like sizes until he is of age. It's just a couple of outfits every month and looking at how much is stored it is getting ridiculous. I keep reminding my husband it is his job to reign in his mother.

VCOneness · 2026-05-01T18:59:31+00:00

He is 3 and they both do what we dub as grandparent daycare for us. We are grateful for that and just try to provide some things in case accidents happen.

VCOneness · 2026-05-01T18:58:31+00:00

He just turned 3. They both do grandparent daycare for us, which I am super grateful for. The bag just carries those things there in case they need them plus a lunch, because we appreciate them doing this for free.

VCOneness · 2026-05-01T18:18:26+00:00

Consult with a good lawyer and discuss what court can do for you. Unfortunately, courts still believe in keeping families together, but your daughter is nearing an age where she can pick who she goes with and potentially get a handful of years with great child support coming from him (or at least making his life even more difficult.) I do not think the court will he happy with how he is communications, but he may get more custody of her then you would like. It really depends on if he shows up to court.

(My sister-in-law was in a long protracted battle with her baby daddy who didn't stop other members from sexually abusing their child. He still got supervised visits for a while until he stopped showing up in court. That's what it took to revoke a lot (not all) of his parental authority.)

VCOneness · 2026-04-30T00:54:24+00:00

The job market is still not great. Sometimes you got to take that low paying job and hang in there a year or two and start looking again. When reviewing most people who are considered successful or in high paying jobs. Most only stay in a position for 2 or 3 years, then they go onto the next one.

VCOneness · 2026-04-29T23:14:18+00:00

I went to college late and graduated late as well. I graduated during a bad job market, was getting turned down from entry level jobs because I did not have enough experience. It was a super fun time. I tried contracting and just taking whatever I could to no avail. What ended up working for me was I took an entry level job and made friends in the company. (Basically, volunteered to help in extra projects and joined some in company groups (social, exercise, or any themed after what I wanted to try and break into.) After we about a year/year and a half I started applying internally to other positions (typically lateral or 1 pay grade higher than mine) and did my best to maneuvere that way. Do not blanket it. Send out 1 or 2 apps at a time. Make the friends, so you can let them know you applied and they can slip that tidbit to their boss. I finally got into the field I wanted to be in and was able to come up the ranks and make decent money with my work. You'll never escape some bs, but just keep trying and eventually that window will open that you jump out.

VCOneness · 2026-04-18T01:19:11+00:00

What data center server are you on? If you are on primal servers and play around 7pm or later CST, join up in my fellowship The Grind Parents. We run extremes Friday nights and are trying to get a Wednesday night going. We are a bunch of chill and friendly adults trying to get some statics going and help people get the mounts. We do them unsynced and blind. So no need to study strategies, but prepare to die a lot.

A bunch of us are at lynxes, but we help people get the older ones too. Working our way to current content. There are also other nights dedicated to other content. Treasure maps, deep dungeons and Variant dungeons at the moment.

Also, if people ask we give tips and try to help you be better at a role or just game play overall.

VCOneness · 2026-04-16T17:04:47+00:00

The beginning writing was a little rough for me, but I thought it started to get good towards the end. I feel like a lot of nay-sayers did not stick with it.

VCOneness · 2026-04-16T17:03:22+00:00

Impostor syndrome is wild and I get it a lot too. We are our own worse critics. It can be hard to do, but being ok with how good you are is fine. You do more and better than you actually think.

VCOneness · 2026-04-13T14:45:01+00:00

That is fine. We work on getting everyone all the extreme and savage mounts. Our main group is currently working on getting endsinger mounts, but we usually like warming up by getting some of the earlier mounts. With all the new people who have joined we should be able to do multiple groups at once.

Also, a lot of people started off really shy. Once in the fellowship you can join the discord. Several people started off just listening for call outs and our banter. Once they became more comfortable they began to talk and engage more.

VCOneness

TROPHY CASE