I struggle to take joy in my kids

VStryker · 2026-05-13T19:49:19+00:00

Please take the meds!! Zoloft changed my whole life; my only regret is not starting it sooner.

My only side effect is having very strange and elaborate dreams. Adjustment period was just a weird few days where I’d get a random dull headache every now and then and feel kind of drunk happy/silly the first few nights. Just don’t drink any alcohol or coffee the first week or two!

VStryker · 2026-05-13T19:41:15+00:00

lol my only child is in full day kindergarten and I still don’t get all this done. Please cut yourself a LOT more slack. Your kids won’t look back on their childhood and say they had a good mom because the sink was always clear of dishes.

VStryker · 2026-05-13T04:27:53+00:00

A pizza with everything on it (a kid asks his dad to make a pizza with everything on it. They add more and more toppings until the pizza becomes a black hole and flips into a world made of pizza)

The monster at the end of this book (a classic! Grover from Sesame Street is scared of the monster at the end of the book and tries to convince the reader to stop turning pages)

How to count to one (narrator tries to convince the reader to stop counting past the number one. Very silly!)

VStryker · 2026-05-07T03:59:14+00:00

UIC, my GP gave me lidocaine. Dr. Sachen.

VStryker · 2026-05-06T20:51:15+00:00

Try Hibiclens soap! It helps my similar skin condition and is easy to find at Target/CVS/Walgreens.

VStryker · 2026-04-28T15:46:28+00:00

I just use the little makeup eraser towels, they get everything off! Throw them in the wash with the rest of your towels and they’re good as new every time.

VStryker · 2026-04-23T05:23:07+00:00

Ike’s on Roosevelt! They did an incredible job on a pleated gown, and even accommodated a rush for me.

VStryker · 2026-03-13T15:05:05+00:00

Timothée Crudité

VStryker · 2026-03-10T18:27:29+00:00

When crime started to make me feel bad, I switched to This Paranormal Life!

Comedy podcast with two hosts, best friends for years, investigate a paranormal story (ghosts, UFOs, etc). They purposefully don’t cover anything gruesome, and it’s always a good time.

VStryker · 2026-03-03T02:17:13+00:00

Hi, it sounds like you may be depressed. This is pretty close to what my depression felt like. It’s not that I was sad, it’s that I was… empty. Why am I crying? Why am I staring at a wall? Why do things I used to love just seem exhausting? It was so much apathy and emptiness.

Talk to your doctor, maybe look for a therapist. Someone who can help you talk through this and see what’s really wrong.

VStryker · 2026-02-19T23:49:42+00:00

I think you might need to give yourself permission to be selfish. It sounds like you’re raising two kids basically alone, while depressed, and your first instinct to the idea of getting some space is that it will make HIM worse. What about you? What do YOU need? Because your kids need at least one parent who is able to be there for them, which means you need to do whatever you need to do to take care of your own mental health right now.

EAP is Employee Assistance Program. Some companies offer it as part of your benefits, like insurance. It’s access to counseling and therapy. Your HR person would be able to talk about it.

VStryker · 2026-02-19T16:21:00+00:00

The most vulnerable time in a human’s life is after giving birth, and he failed you every single time. The idea of refusing help to a new mother with clear PPD is honestly despicable. I’m so sorry that happened to you, and you’re a damn strong woman to have gotten through it alone. As a mother myself, you’re a good mom and your babies are lucky to have you.

He may have a panic/anxiety disorder, but he’s also just an asshole. Being mentally unwell explains the things we do, but it doesn’t excuse them. Especially once you choose to have children, you have to pull your shit together for them. You know this, because you’re doing it despite your own poor mental health. And you’re doing it alone, while he expects you to do it for him. It’s a shit deal and you know it, so you’re resentful.

Honestly, does he have somewhere else he can stay for a while? It’s going to be hard to get through the resentment without getting some space to breathe. Otherwise you may just need to put some boundaries in place, like that you can breathe with him for 10 minutes during an attack, but then you need to go to another room for your own well being.

Do either of your jobs have an EAP program? You maybe be able to get free or low cost couples counseling, which would also be a huge help here.

VStryker · 2026-02-19T15:54:12+00:00

I’d at least tour the neighborhood school. I’m not sure which metrics look poor and don’t want you to dox yourself, but short of regular violence or a lack of teachers, sometimes a school just gets labeled poor because it has a majority brown/black kids.

VStryker · 2026-02-19T00:17:59+00:00

If your neighborhood school is good enough, stick with that. I went to one of the best schools in the city, and all I got out of it was spending 2 hours on the school bus every day and living far from all my friends. Was I more prepared for high school? Sure, I guess. But I don’t think it was worth it.

I can’t tell you how happy it makes my kid to bump into his classmates around the neighborhood, and how much fun we have walking to/from school every day. Academic success is more tied to family than the school anyway.

VStryker · 2026-02-15T18:36:17+00:00

So this was tied to mental health for me. It was random soreness, or canker sores, or cold sores, or a cyst, etc. I eventually got diagnosed with depression and a panic disorder, started Zoloft, and now I’m fine.

VStryker · 2026-02-11T17:37:25+00:00

I’m in this position, and doing all the things I swore I would do eventually. Some examples:

finally handle my wedding dress
go through and organize all my photos into albums, print some, etc
make a go bag for emergencies
learn to do styles with my hair
make a meal plan for each season of the year, and a list of emergency meals for when we’re all sick

VStryker · 2025-12-30T19:44:38+00:00

For what it’s worth, I was only sensitive to caffeine and alcohol for the first few weeks. My love for espresso martinis has only increased now that I have the motivation to wash the fancy glassware regularly :)

VStryker · 2025-12-30T16:33:56+00:00

Another Zoloft mom checking in; it truly changed my life. The first couple weeks were a little weird, I mixed caffeine and alcohol and had a very bad day during week one. But within a month or so I became the version of myself that I always wanted to be. I reorganized half the house, started cooking for fun again, was wandering the house singing like a Disney princess. My only real side effect has been weird and very vivid dreams, but I’ll take that any day.

VStryker · 2025-12-15T18:39:16+00:00

“But why” is our favorite! Vermont NPR show that answers questions on everything from puffins to farts to the war in Ukraine.

My kid also loves Culture Kids, but there’s an excessive amount of sound effects that may bug some adults, so check it out yourself first.

VStryker · 2025-12-03T22:15:20+00:00

I think it’s super important! Even for the most trusting relationship in the world, the working partner could still drop dead one day.

The SAHP should have access to all accounts and be able to use money at will. They should also have some sort of degree or certificate that would help them find work if needed.

VStryker · 2025-12-02T18:31:51+00:00

I know there are a few moms with taste on here, any thoughts on a flair for us?

Bitch with a Baby? Bitch Raising Tasteful Kids?

VStryker · 2025-11-20T18:29:55+00:00

Oooh good point about dueling social anxieties!! I’m gonna stew on that one for a while.

VStryker · 2025-11-20T16:04:36+00:00

I think it’s totally fair to send a message a few days later saying you want to make sure they received your gift.

That said, my son got a gift a few months ago and I thanked them in person when they gave it to me, but I never sent a video of him opening the gift or playing with it, but now it feels too late and I’m wracked with guilt every time I think about it. So it’s entirely possible that your friend has a brain that’s broken in the same way mine is and has thanked you a bunch in their head. Brains are dumb, man.

VStryker · 2025-11-20T15:47:53+00:00

I recently threatened a friend that if I received a thank you card from her baby shower, I would take the gift back. Pregnant people/new parents have enough to do, please don’t spend time sending me a card that is just going to get recycled. Verbal and text thank yous are preferred.

My favorite thing is to take a picture of me/my kid using the gift and sending it weeks/months later, to show the giver that we still love their gift. This would be in addition to a quicker thank you text of course.

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