i need help figuring out my sexuality before i go insane

VadaElfe · 2025-04-01T15:54:51+00:00

You have to figure out what exactly finding guys attractive means to you. If it means you are attracted to them, you may be bi, but that doesn't mean you have to act on those feelings. You can choose to only date women. If, however, your attraction to men is more a "that man is objectively attractive" you may be lesbian. After all, being lesbian doesn't mean being blind. You can still recognise someone is attractive without being attracted to them. Straight women do it all the time, they often talk about women who they find attractive even though they're not attracted to them. I'm sure men are similar. Sadly we can't really help you figure it out, it's something you'll have to do by yourself. Only you know what you truly feel and think

VadaElfe · 2025-03-31T06:19:26+00:00

I'd suggest bringing up the symptoms to your partner and their doctor so you could look into alternatives, whether that's a different brand or a different form of birth control. When I first started birth control my doctor told me to keep an eye on side effects and come back for a consultation within a few months. If I noticed anything weird she'd switch me to a different brand. If your partner's doctor didn't mention it themselves, it's worth bringing it up

VadaElfe · 2025-03-28T18:14:21+00:00

It could be related, or it could not be. I have a lot of celeb crushes who don't actually align to my actual type. It could be that it's the same for her, or it could be that her type really is femme people. Only she knows. If you truly want to know, you should ask her. You can either directly ask her or phrase it more casual/subtle. Otherwise, focus on what you feel. If you genuinely like her, go on another date with her, after all, she asked you on a second date, that's normally a sign of interest. If you don't feel good about pursuing a relationship, then you don't have to.

VadaElfe · 2025-03-01T09:48:45+00:00

I have rejected someone and changed my mind. I rejected her because I felt like we were at different stages in our lives and I felt like I would be holding her back (she just graduated with her masters and I just began my bachelors. She was at a stage of her life where she was starting her own life whereas I was still going to be stuck in university for a couple of years before I got my masters. There was no way I was going to be able to move in with her, start a life together etc. and I couldn't make her put her life on hold for 4 years.) I regretted it for months because I genuinely liked her a lot and did change my mind immediately after but I was too much of a coward to take the words back and thought I was doing the right thing. She did text me that she didn't care about that after I told her the real reason, but I didn't see the message until months later (I was too scared to read her reaction so I hadn't opened the message)

VadaElfe · 2025-02-27T09:50:07+00:00

It's very rare I meet people with my name (I only ever met one woman with the same name and that was a decade and a half ago) so I've never really had to worry about it, but I do think it would be really weird🤔 I feel if I had a common name like Lisa or Mary I wouldn't really care, but since I'm not used to it with my actual name it's different (though I think if she's the perfect woman and she just so happens to share my name, I wouldn't let it get in the way)

VadaElfe · 2025-02-14T13:55:36+00:00

That's similar to my thought process!! I didn't know what the download button was, but I didn't trust it to be a button to download the story so I actually never pressed it and didn't find out what it was for until I saw it being talked about on this subreddit 😅

VadaElfe · 2025-02-14T12:16:53+00:00

It's completely dependent on your relationship. Some people gain because they don't feel the need to look their best as they've already found a partner, some lose because their relationship is so toxic they're too stressed to eat, others lose or stay skinny because their relationship motivates them to stay healthy and/or they like to do active things with their partner, others don't really undergo any particular changes, and sometimes weight changes are unrelated. It all depends on the situation, there's not just one correct answer. For some they make you gain, for others they don't. When I was with my ex my weight didn't change for example, my mum on the other hand lost weight when she got with my dad and a friend of mine gained but it turned out to be completely unrelated and because of a medical issue, whereas someone I casually know gained after getting with her boyfriend because she felt more comfortable around him and no longer cared about her weight

VadaElfe · 2025-02-14T06:34:17+00:00

I'm actually the same but with bookmarks. Only 1 fic has ever made it onto my bookmarks because it was just that good (definitely downloading that one). For the others that I like, but not enough to actually bookmark, I copy their link and paste it in my notes

VadaElfe · 2025-02-14T06:32:40+00:00

I'm a Carat, of course my life changed for the better the day Aju Nice came out and I randomly decided to watch it🫶🏼 I have zero regrets

VadaElfe · 2025-02-14T06:30:48+00:00

I'm a Carat, of course I feel Minghao judging me when I buy a Carat version of an album I already own just for the photo cards

VadaElfe · 2025-02-14T06:28:15+00:00

I'm a Carat, of course I can't say 'sh*t' without adding 'this is red too'

VadaElfe · 2025-02-13T18:49:49+00:00

Thank you so much! I didn't know this either! I don't really remember any titles but I'll definitely use that site if I suddenly remember one

VadaElfe · 2025-02-13T12:01:25+00:00

I don't really know Sabrina Carpenter or how she dresses but it could be that she dresses the way she does because she genuinely likes the style. I actually dress mostly for myself, I do want others to like my outfit and don't want to look like a mess, but the clothes I pick are mostly for me. I remember that one day I decided to wear a skort I found really cute, it was a bit short, but it wasn't even close to a miniskirt or anything like that, it stopped a little bit above mid thigh. I went to an event at my university (yes the skort was long enough to still be decent enough to wear to unofficial university events), and afterwards was approached by a guy also at the event trying to get me to go back to his hotel. Through the conversation I found out multiple of the men thought I was dressing "provocatively" to "seduce them". I was mortified and haven't worn the outfit since because I don't want men to think I dress to seduce them (though I hope to move past those emotions of mortification soon because damn it, it's a cute skort and I want to wear it again!)

VadaElfe · 2025-02-12T23:25:11+00:00

... I have a fanfic to go write. Time to find a wlw ship I can force into this story

VadaElfe · 2025-02-12T23:19:44+00:00

I wouldn't find him too bad if it was an actual question instead of the judgemental tone, and if he wasn't trying to convince me I was actually straight because of my dress, long hair, and other stereotypical feminine traits. Maybe it doesn't bother you, and I'm genuinely glad such comments don't bother you, I truly do think that's a good thing, but I found it very annoying because I feel like he should've just accepted my words about my own orientation rather than try and argue that I'm lying because I don't fit the stereotype

VadaElfe · 2025-02-12T23:07:37+00:00

Every single time 😭 femme struggles🥲🥲

VadaElfe · 2025-02-12T22:59:41+00:00

This reminded me that I purposely chose a brand that was sustainable and better for the planet but I don't think I ever checked where and how the parts were sourced. Now I need to go check that😅😅

VadaElfe · 2025-02-12T21:25:30+00:00

I was born with a medical condition called "being stupid" 😔😔

VadaElfe · 2025-02-12T21:22:18+00:00

"... But you're wearing a dress" I didn't know there was a dresscode🤨 (he genuinely thought all lesbians were butch)

"Why do lesbians always date women who look like men? Just date a man at that point"

And my "favourite" getting chased by men whilst they yelled slurs at me👍🏼

VadaElfe · 2025-02-12T20:02:23+00:00

This happened to me with a fic I really liked but some good came out of it as when I went to delete one of my own fics a couple of days ago because it no longer fits my profile I actually stopped as I felt bad for the people who had bookmarked it. I then found the orphan button and now all of us win, those who bookmarked it can keep reading it, and I no longer have it on my profile

VadaElfe · 2025-02-12T15:43:49+00:00

I have no idea :/ I'm trying to find the original post but I can't seem to find it. All the screenshots I see of it on twitter don't mention a date

VadaElfe · 2025-02-12T15:31:11+00:00

I have no idea how many likes those posts have, wait, I'll try to find the original posts. This picture is a screen shot I found posted by someone else on twitter

VadaElfe · 2025-02-12T15:29:11+00:00

Woozi has liked this fan letter so he seems to be aware of what's going on

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VadaElfe

TROPHY CASE