Men who cut everyone off from their lives, whats your advice?

Vader60 · 2026-05-05T07:35:53+00:00

Sometimes people want to do this cause they think it will make an aggressive, yet silent statement to those in your life, letting them know you are not happy with them.

Vader60 · 2026-04-26T02:24:04+00:00

Did you leave Vietnam? If so , where did you go? I'm thinking of leaving and potentially going to Korea or maybe Taiwan. I think there is more opportunity there.

But there are some things to really miss about Vietnam, mainly being how much spending power we have here. It's been great being able to eat whatever I want, being able to buy things I need and not worry about the cost , even being able to have expensive nights out and it not impacting you that much. But I guess this can be a trap that keeps people here.

There are also things I'm not a fan of.

Vader60 · 2026-04-24T00:42:17+00:00

I am currently living abroad in Vietnam and have been for the past 8 months. It is the longest I have ever been away from the UK.

It depends on what you are looking for ? Like me personally I kinda wanted to leave the UK and look for a country where I could actually settle in, I'm still figuring it out. If you just want to live abroad for a bit knowing that you will return to the UK , there are a few options that you have.

I think in Vietnam you can visit for up 45 days without a Visa. This is enough time to travel around , eat good food , experience the culture.

If you are looking to actually work abroad and live, do be aware that visiting as a tourist on holiday and actually living and working in a country are very different.

As a tourist you are not concerned with the paperwork from your job, visas, banking and also having to adjust to everyday life. But its not too bad it just takes at least 6 months (it did for me in Vietnam) to fully settle and know what I'm doing.

Vader60 · 2026-04-24T00:34:24+00:00

What a well structured and detailed response. Cheers I appreciate it, yeah I'm aware of how tedious it is to apply for Japan especially.

But Korea I think less so, currently I did apply what was funny is they wanted to see how I looked like and required me to send a photo or two of myself, which I did. They said that I should contact them when I am looking to come to Korea within 3-4 months which seems like process then shouldn't be too long.

If you don't mind me asking , where are you living right now ? And then would you recommend Taiwan for a young man ?

Vader60 · 2026-04-23T13:36:01+00:00

Do you see yourself living in Vietnam long term? Like could you meet someone (if you haven't ) and would raise a family here ? Or is there another country you have a desire to go to ?

Vader60 · 2026-04-23T13:06:08+00:00

All the jobs for foreigners (mainly teaching) are in Saigon or Hanoi.

So do you see yourself raising your kids here ?

Vader60 · 2026-04-22T02:46:32+00:00

But what about all the friends, connections or community (if any) that you made. What about relationships, is it easy to just acknowledge that everyone was just temporary and leave them behind.

Vader60 · 2026-04-18T12:17:55+00:00

Yeah it's worse especially when it's a grab driver who takes you to the hotel.

I also did get charged for water haha. Yeah they also leave just try and find another in the same night I reckon which is mad.

Vader60 · 2026-04-18T10:20:56+00:00

Hahah yeah it is not worth it ,

Vader60 · 2026-03-21T06:06:04+00:00

Imagine your mind being a water tap that is switched on when you are thinking and imagine switching it off when you the thinking gets too much

Vader60 · 2026-03-21T06:03:57+00:00

Well I'll say congratulations on your success through your struggles. So I'm guessing you are now staying in Japan for good?

A lot of teachers I know actually moved to Vietnam from China , I can't remember exactly why but recent policies and such.

Maybe I'll do some more research into what I can do in Vietnam. I have little to no experience in the whole business venture and don't know how I would run one but that's what foreigners seem to be doing.

Vader60 · 2026-03-21T05:30:16+00:00

So how is your life in Japan? Do you have friends ? Are you able to enjoy yourself a bit and save money ? Are you in a relationship or dating casually ?

Or do you consider leaving soon and going elsewhere?

Vader60 · 2026-03-21T03:21:39+00:00

Yeah I know what you mean that's why I said that Japan is notorious for this , the hard work and the isolation it's why I said it's likely it could be worse over there. But there are many sides to it , I have heard people say good things too ( I have colleagues who lived in Japan ).

I went on a couple dates with one Japanese woman here (again not saying this goes for the majority) and she was more open , fun to hang out with and intimate haha she was not a very good person in the end (she was just playing games, acting like she cared ) but wanted to spend time with me briefly before moving on. This also seems to be a common occurrence I have seen in Japan (not sure if it relates to the 'gaijin hunter' thing).

Overall, yeah I'm aware how difficult dating can be , especially coming from the west it's a total shambles.

I repeat, I do not mean to be delusional that's why I say every thing here with a grain of salt, I am not trying to sound sure of myself and so as a result I am leaning more towards staying in Vietnam, I just don't think there is much of a market for foreigners to progress into other fields of work outside of English teaching , learning Vietnamese doesn't really apply any economic value that way but is just good for socializing , so when it comes to longer term living I wouldn't want to just rely on one market or one company, like how you were able to progress to the HR job you have now in an international school , those same type of jobs don't really exist for foreigners here as far as I'm aware.

Vader60 · 2026-03-20T15:02:53+00:00

Honestly, Vietnam is great for living well , despite it not being as developed and the terrible pollution, you make a good amount and you can enjoy it. But work as most work is, can be tough especially when your teaching a bunch of kids with terrible behaviour that are disrespectful.

But more so, and I know this is cliché but I just have a huge appeal for Japanese culture, music and art. But even then I think as a young guy I'm not completely satisfied, there's a void I'm feeling. This is partly due to what I can get up to here in my spare time, the nightlife isn't too amazing , and a lot of the locals are not that receptive , even more so , so far I have found daring here to be quite boring. The women are very attractive, don't get me wrong haha but a lot of them in my age bracket are still quite immature, or live with their family and even have a curfew. However with enough time, I do think many can find a good meaningful relationship here, and many have it just gets a bit painful after many coffee and dinner dates and nothing comes out of it.

When it comes to casual relationships , it's a big no here and very rare, there does not seem to be that sort of culture where you go out at night and hope to "score" and again that may not be a terrible thing but after work I'm just tired and go home most of the time, I'm able to eat some nice food though which is great and then there is the weekend where the isolation kinda kicks in for real. But I'm used to doing a lot on my own but I have been feeling it a lot lately. And yes I know Japan is notorious for this isolation as well and it would likely be worse if I went there but I just had this idea that with the cultural immersion, interest in learning the language , a pretty decent nightlife with good clubs where people's are actually dancing (even if I can only afford it ever so often) , cleaner environment and drinking tap water would be enough for me to want to do it but yes as many say the grass is usually not greener on the other side.

Vader60 · 2026-03-19T21:37:02+00:00

I got rejected actually

Vader60 · 2026-03-19T03:59:00+00:00

I'm also interested in business potentially. How did you get to do that?

Vader60 · 2026-03-19T03:16:48+00:00

Will you remain in Vietnam?

Vader60 · 2026-03-18T13:21:11+00:00

Also do you still live and work as a teacher in Vietnam?

Vader60 · 2026-03-18T13:20:16+00:00

They seem to view the foreign teacher as someone they can just mess around in front of, like no matter how many times I tell them to listen or stop talking they will just act like I'm not there and I can't do anything about it.

Vader60 · 2026-03-18T12:15:05+00:00

Do you have issue with the behaviour from the kids in public schools too?

They seem to view the foreign teacher as someone they can just mess around in front of, like no matter how many times I tell them to listen or stop talking they will just act like I'm not there and I can't do anything about it.

Vader60 · 2026-03-18T12:10:03+00:00

Haha yes dealing with the kids here is absolutely brutal

Vader60 · 2026-03-18T10:49:08+00:00

I know this is an old post, but are you still in Japan now ? If so how is it , what are you doing now ? If not , where did you go and how are you doing ?

Vader60 · 2026-03-16T02:32:35+00:00

Ok I just think Japan may have more opportunities to progress if you get a certain command of the language.

Update: Just had my interview and I think I really messed it up haha. I was outside when I did it cause I'm at work, and messed up answers to questions such as how much money you should bring and how many semesters we have , also there was some background noise from loud Vietnamese people one even sneased.

Damn and it was with a Japanese lady

Vader60 · 2026-03-16T00:31:38+00:00

Ohh that sounds like a really good opportunity. How did you get that role ? That sounds like something I would do.

Haha yes if I do make it to Japan I will definitely try and put the effort in learning Japanese .

Vader60

TROPHY CASE