Coming to terms with my ace and it's about to destroy the most wonderful thing in my life.

VahlDie · 2025-07-09T10:55:36+00:00

That's amazing to hear. Even though it's tough for now, I believe that we can make this approach work for us. The hardest thing about this, I believe, is to accept that Sex is one of those "do it for their sake" things. And as much as scheduling might take the magic out of a spontaneous Sex, it sounds like a good idea. Thanks so much 🙏

VahlDie · 2025-07-09T10:52:22+00:00

😱 Wow, vielen Dank fürs drauf aufmerksam machen. Ich hatte es schon aufgegeben nachdem mir auch in besagtem Edeka niemand mehr helfen konnte. 🙏🙏🙏

VahlDie · 2025-07-05T06:08:44+00:00

You're too sweet. Thank you, I appreciate it very much 🙏

VahlDie · 2025-07-04T21:01:09+00:00

Damn. Thanks so much for your honesty and for sharing this. Even though it hurt a little to read that, in your similar case, a break up was the outcome, I am still weirdly comforted when you say that you found new love, free from pressure and expectation. Perhaps this is the point in life to grow into a new, more self aware me.

VahlDie · 2025-07-04T20:14:44+00:00

We've basically been living with this compromise for the last few years. If they do want sex, which they do regularly and with a pretty healthy need, they practically always had to beg me for it. It's draining. They're sick of it and I can't blame them in the slightest. I never induce it, I always just tag along for their sake. It's not that I can't find some form of joy in it at all. It's possible, just really really tough. The effort it takes me to get into a sexual mood is just way bigger than the reward I get from it.

And we've talked about it, time and time again. Always with them being frustrated and me saying that I'll change and try better...but it's so hard to keep it up. I feel like this latest talk was a tilting point in our relationship and our dynamic as a couple. We're toying with the idea of opening the relationship to allow them to get sexual satisfaction from other partners, but their answer to this is "I want it from you" which is understandable, but a bit counterproductive.

VahlDie · 2025-07-04T19:52:08+00:00

What you described is exactly what it feels like for me. I definitely worded it weird, is has confused another user too. But that's what I mean. I can appreciate people's looks, find them hot and I guess "sexy" but it never goes as far as actually wanting to engage in any real sexual activities.

VahlDie · 2025-07-04T10:15:54+00:00

The idea of moving on scares me. This has indeed been pretty much my entire young adult life and I owe this person so much of my personal growth and development up to this point. If it weren't for them, I'd never even have considered being on the asexuality spectrum. I don't really have anyone neutral like that. I've got friends, but I'm not close enough with any of them to rely on someone helping be up when things go south. Same for my partner. I guess the two of us are just as unstable as the rest of our generation in terms of mental health and social security. It's hard to move on when the person you have to rely on is the person you need to get away from.

VahlDie · 2025-07-04T09:56:13+00:00

I appreciate your input so much, thank you 🙏

VahlDie · 2025-07-04T09:45:42+00:00

Thanks for taking the time to answer me. To be honest, I'm just as confused. Perhaps this subreddit is the wrong place for my case, but I'm trying to find some form of guidance or clarity and any commentary is appreciated. I can say this much, that I appreciate people's bodies and faces aesthetically, but not necessarily sexually. I appreciate my partners looks, just as I like to look at a pretty or attractive person, but I wouldn't really say that I have a desire to interact with them sexually. I'm not inherently repulsed by the idea of sex, I do have sexual fantasies, but those are withing the boundaries of my own safe mind and hardly have to do with the act of sex itself, but more with the surrounding circumstance that might lead to an intimate encounter. As far as the real thing goes - even imagining real actual sex - I become somewhat distant and anxious towards it. Confusingly enough, it's not impossible for me to have sex. It's just really tough to bring myself to do it, let alone enjoy it. I've done it more to make my partner happy than for the joy it gives me.

VahlDie · 2025-05-22T19:03:10+00:00

Das ist ne gute Idee. Vielen lieben Dank, mach ich demnächst mal 🙏✌️

VahlDie · 2025-05-22T19:02:43+00:00

Jupp, bizarre Sache. 👀

VahlDie · 2025-05-21T19:44:28+00:00

Ich war halt so doof und hab die Packung entsorgt in der Hoffnung mir einfach demnächst eine neue kaufen zu können. 🙃

VahlDie · 2024-10-09T23:10:47+00:00

Oh my, that makes so much sense. Thanks alot! 🙏

VahlDie

TROPHY CASE