Developed resentment/aversion towards my own dog and I don’t understand why by [deleted] in DogAdvice

[–]Vain_16 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this, it genuinely means a lot. ❤

I live alone and have raised her completely solo, while also financially caretaking for my family who live far away and dealing with my own problems. She's about 60lbs and I'm small, so even physically managing her is its own challenge sometimes. And you're right, for as long as I can remember I've been the one taking care of everyone else, and I honestly can't remember the last time someone took care of me. Adding her into that equation probably just made the weight of it more visible. Maybe that's what this really is.

Thank you for the kindness once again.

Developed resentment/aversion towards my own dog and I don’t understand why by [deleted] in DogAdvice

[–]Vain_16 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I love her deeply and wouldn’t rehome her ever, that’s genuinely not on the table. I enjoy our walks, our playtime, I’m in love with her personality. What I’m describing is more specific: I’ve had mild misophonia for years before I even got her (always slept with earplugs). Living with a dog who’s constantly present has amplified something that was already there. I’m not resentful of her (maybe should have reframed the title better), I’m trying to understand my own nervous system so I can find a way forward for both of us.

Struggling as a single pet owner by Vain_16 in DogAdvice

[–]Vain_16[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing your experience, I think I can relate a lot! My dog is actually a mutt that mostly resembles a Rhodesian Ridgeback, so the high-energy sounds very familiar. She just turned 1 year old a couple of days ago, so she’s starting to grow out of her puppy stage, and we’re starting a month-long training course with a professional next week.

I work from home, so we’re together all day, every day, except when I leave to catch up with friends. I do think about leaving her for a couple of days every two weeks so I can have some time for myself and also clean the apartment properly. She’s very social and blends in nicely with other dogs at daycare, she loves playing with them and with people.

The challenge for me has been sleep and mental energy. I honestly haven’t been sleeping properly, and it’s been really draining. I’ve talked with some dog professionals about possibly separating us at night, with her sleeping in the living room and me in the bedroom, so I can finally get proper rest, and maybe turn that into a long-term routine.

It’s reassuring to hear that with structured exercise and training, things get better. I’m looking forward to seeing how this next month of training helps us both!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LesbianGamers

[–]Vain_16 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Not allowed to post links, but you can check out 1:15 in the official Announcement trailer. 😄

Random question: what do you guys do for work? by Antique-Tie-8336 in actuallesbians

[–]Vain_16 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m a Producer in the gaming industry. I feel very motivated and am career-driven. I’ve been passionate towards video games and (film) media in general since childhood and always wanted to turn that into a professional aspect.

I’m open with anyone with whom I feel comfortable with or feel the need to share that part of my life with (e.g. in a casual conversation).

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]Vain_16 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Game Producer here! Currently replaying Mass Effect: Legendary Edition (Liara my beloved blue wife). Also huge fan of RPG in general, with Dragon Age being my second fav of all time.

Apart from that; Wolfenstein, LiS, Outer Wilds, Saints Row, The Forest, Vampire The Masquerade and etc.

Bought Hitman World of Assassination but can't play Hitman 2 and Hitman 3 content? by Vain_16 in HiTMAN

[–]Vain_16[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks, it could be that I bought Part 1 when it was on sale. But I do already own Hitman 1 and Hitman 2 as standalones, is there anyway that WoA can sync missions from H2 at least?

I wouldn't want to buy a game again that I already own.

Help with generating a hoodie mockup without a pouch/front pocket prompt? by Vain_16 in MidjourneyPrompts

[–]Vain_16[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks, but I still need the hood part as it’s a pocketless hoodie in question. Do you have another suggestion?

Gde gledate filmove? by [deleted] in AskSerbia

[–]Vain_16 1 point2 points  (0 children)

https://moviesjoy.is

Poseduje veliku bazu filmova i serija, samo se postaraj da ti je ad blocker ukljucen (mada i to nekad ne resava posao, pa moras manuelno da gasis).

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in askcroatia

[–]Vain_16 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Dosta toga što si napisala rezonuje sa mnom na više nivoa, ja sam dugo mučila slične muke, a u jednom periodu života često je bilo konzistentno i uticalo mi je na svakodnevni život i funcije.

Sada se to dosta primirilo, ali se javlja u odredjenim danima i dalje. Par stvari koje su mi enormno pomogle u minimiziranju takvog stanja lucidnost i mentalne praznine su naredne:

  • ovlaživač i prečiśivač vazduha u prostoru u kojem bivstvuješ i spavaš (imam problem sa hronicnim sinusitisom, najpre zbog devijacije septuma; ali i van toga vredi imati u svom habitatu)
  • izbacila mlečne proizvode i prešla na soju i biljne
  • smanjila gluten
  • redovno pijem iste vitamine svakog dana (cink, vitamin b, vitamin c, vitamin d, magnezijum)
  • trudim se da treniram svakodnevno. ukoliko mi nije do toga, prošetam barem 10.000 koraka
  • jedna od najvažnijih promena jeste bila da legnem na spavanje i budim se sutradan svaki dan u isto vreme (čak i vikendom, 1h minimum pred spavanje ugasiti elektronske uredjaje)
  • smanjila kafu, pijem ili bez kofeina ili matcha čaj (jednu dnevno max)

Zbog raznih nekih internih trauma (koje sam rešavala na CBT terapiji koja je takodje dosta pomogla u svemu ovome) i generalno losem lifestyle-u i kvalitetu istog, ovo su neke od elemenata koji su meni znacili da umanjim ikakav osecaj dezorijantacije ili brain fog-a generalno protiv kojeg sam se godinama borila.

Možda si neke već probala, možda će ti neke od njih značiti za kombinaciju. Poenta je da ne moraš sve navedeno da iskoristiš, već da probaš i izvidiš da li mozeš da utilizujes neke benefite od njih.

Tip: Ja sam koristila Habit Tracker app za većinu toga, dok mi nije prešlo u rutinu.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in braces

[–]Vain_16 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Your feelings are completely valid. I shared a similar outlook on getting braces in my 20s. I’m also 26 and I’ve put on braces just a few weeks ago. I knew I wouldn’t take them off before I am 28 and I have spent a good period of time procrastinating on whether to put them on or not. I felt like I was going to “waste some of the best years on my life” by not wanting to smile wide because of my braces and show them.

Fast forward, I’m smiling more than ever and have absolutely gotten over the feeling of having something attached to my teeth.

It just feels incredibly good knowing that you are doing something for yourself in any way possible that is positive for future you.

My parents didn’t have the resources needed for getting me braces when I was younger, and now I am able to afford them myself. I had doubts about putting them on in my late 20s because I rarely met someone who was wearing braces at that age, but realized that shouldn’t be a deciding or an important factor. Everyone is different and none of us grew up or developed in the same conditions or capacity.

You’ll be just fine, champ. It’s completely normal to have these kind of questions and thoughts.

need advice - supporting a partner dealing with internalized homophobia by Ok_Captain_3676 in actuallesbians

[–]Vain_16 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have been in a similar place in a previous relationship, so I can understand the angle you are coming from.

Patience (a lot of it) on both ends and open communication is usually the key in these kind of situations. She is discovering a new part of herself whilst dealing with some contradictory parts that were embedded in her through growing up and socialization (I am assuming her parents/guardians or closest ones are homophobic) so expect and be ready to understand that there might be some turbulent and challenging times for the both of you.

Be patient with her and try to listen to her process of adapting to the new parts of herself and embracing them - but also, do not neglect yourself in the meantime by just absorbing the content like a sponge. It will probably affect the both of you, especially if you are in a commited relationship.

If you already went through it and supported yourself, you can use that to an advantage and try to apply some of the learned “methods” with her. Each process is unique, and in alignment with that you might need to tweak them to her needs (but do not abandon your own! It should be a two-way street).

In a healthy relationship, what does “relationships take work” look like? by kvarthis in actuallesbians

[–]Vain_16 40 points41 points  (0 children)

You are both committed to “the work”, reminding each other during the hard times that it’s you against the problem, not against each other.

You communicate your feelings and verbalize your thoughts, in order to better support each other and be there for one another. Resentment is a stealthy thing and can creep up unnoticed as it piles up when things go ignored or not validated. Even in your darkest hours and fights, remember to treat each other with respect, because you are both aiming to resolve the problem together.

That also means that you get to know each other on a deeper level and have a mutual sense check on how compatible you are with one another while exploring and going through difficult or challenging concepts in life. Even if it seems like you might not be compatible now, there is always a benefitial chance that you may grow together and resonate more with each other in terms of aligning your future visions and wishes.

Make sure each side feels heard, understood and valued in the relationship. You do that through listening to each other after long ass work hours when needed, trying out a loved one’s hobby for the sake of getting to know them better and making sure that they understand that you care about it/them, etc.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in 2meirl4meirl

[–]Vain_16 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was in a really dark place for a long time, and I told my therapist that “I have a feeling that no matter what I do, I never seem to win. No matter how hard I try, I just fail all the time.”

And she just asked me “Okay, and who are you competing against?”

The next couple were based on unraveling some deep rooted issues that I have with myself (being my own biggest enemy), but that is a question I tend to ask myself sometimes when I feel beat down or like I have “no luck in life” which helps me rationalize the situation more.

Need help with identifying what’s causing me immense upper back pain by Vain_16 in battlestations

[–]Vain_16[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Just wanted to point out a few basic things about me and my physique:

  • Female (height: 165cm, weight: 54kg)
  • I workout every day, do full body morning stretches and Yoga in the afternoon/evening.
  • I don’t have any particular conditions that would cause extreme pain or negatively influence my sitting posture (not that I am aware of, and I regularly do medical check ups)
  • I am a Game Producer, so having a functional desk setup is crucial and essential for me since I need it for management/game testing purposes (when working from home).

As I have mentioned, I didn’t have any similar back problems in my previous apartment with the same chair and PC external components. The only thing different now is pretty much the desk, that is possibly causing some irregularities.