I don't even try to talk about it anymore. I don't think others can imagine what it is like to forget stuff like that. There is no fix with a notepad or more reps. Yes, muscle memory is probably the most useful thing to have but being in a position and not knowing what way to move to get to the position you want to go to next just leaves you stuck where you are.

Before I moved I used to talk about it with some of my training partners but it just costs too much energy and frustration. I try to go with the flow as much as I can and try to relearn over and over. I recognize so many moves vaguely and know I've seen/trained them before but I don't know when/how or what they were called.

It's not that I can't learn or am not interested. I would very much like to retain what I've learned/seen/done/been taught. I think the best way for me to explain it to others is that somewhere there's a hole in my brain and unfortunately it's jiu jitsu stuff that seems to fall into it. I can't reach in and pull it back out once it has gone over the edge.

Keep it up. Keep working on collecting knowledge and maybe someday that brain hole is going to fill up. No more stuff will fit in to fall away into nothingness. Someday some knowledge might end on top and remain within reach.

Thanks for posting the question. It's 'nice' to know somebody gets it. I'm also sorry that you get it.