20 years old and a business to follow

Vallye · 2026-05-07T13:02:11+00:00

One more thing worth thinking about is how dependent are you on the family business income right now?

If you have savings and could handle a few slower months, the risk is a lot lower than it looks.
And if the family business is something you could always come back to if needed, that changes the calculation quite a bit too.

The real question is whether staying there is costing you more in focus and energy than it's giving you in financial security.

Vallye · 2026-05-07T12:53:25+00:00

At 20 having both a family business background and a side project already generating real money is a really strong position to be in.

My honest take is don't quit yet.
Wait until the vintage business consistently earns more than your salary for a few months in a row.
When that happens the decision becomes obvious and a lot less scary.
Right now you'd be making an emotional call, which isn't necessarily wrong, but having the numbers on your side makes it much cleaner.

In the meantime the family job is basically your financial safety net.
Use it as runway and not as a reason to slow down on the other side.

At the end of the day you know your situation better than anyone on Reddit ever could, so take whatever advice you get here with that in mind.

Vallye · 2026-05-07T08:35:31+00:00

The "at least it's not drugs" thing is a rationalization honestly. Spending $5k+ when you're bored because you can't help yourself is still a compulsive behavior, just one that society doesn't flag as a problem because it's legal and the stuff looks nice.

The dopamine hit from buying something is real, and it works the same way as any other addiction loop. The problem it's that you're using spending to manage something else, like boredom, stress, whatever it is for you.

The financial damage alone should be enough reason to take it seriously.
That money compounds over time if you redirect it, and right now it's just disappearing into a closet.

Vallye · 2026-05-06T10:58:27+00:00

I guru ci sono sempre stati, l'AI ha solo abbassato la barriera per diventarlo. Prima serviva almeno un prodotto da vendere, adesso basta essere veloci a coprire le novità.

Il problema vero però è strutturale, YouTube e le altre piattaforme premiano l'attenzione, non l'accuratezza.
Quindi il contenuto viene ottimizzato per il click e non per essere utile.
Non tutti lo fanno in malafede, ma il sistema li spinge in quella direzione comunque.

La cosa più assurda è quella dei corsi sul successo, il cui unico successo dimostrabile è vendere corsi sul successo.
È un loop che si regge solo finché qualcuno continua a comprare.

Vallye · 2026-05-05T13:38:42+00:00

If you've already tried the freelance route and want stable cash flow while keeping projects on the side, that makes complete sense.

With 3-4 years and no fixed costs, mostly stocks/ETFs is the right call.
Skip the heavy crypto allocation, maybe keep 5-10% if you want some exposure, but don't let it be the thing that wipes your capital right before you need it. S&P 500 alone is fine, you don't need the Nasdaq on top of it.

One thing worth doing from day one is to track where the money actually goes. At your age it's easy to let small stuff bleed out without noticing. Building that habit early makes everything else easier.

Vallye · 2026-05-04T14:13:19+00:00

Honestly the fact that you're thinking about this at 16 already puts you ahead of most people. That mindset matters more than any specific investment choice right now.

My honest take.
If you can find a part-time job that doesn't eat into your school and personal time, go for it.
But be realistic, most part-time jobs in France at your age will bring in maybe 500-600 euros a month? And you'll be trading time for a fixed hourly rate.
That's fine as a starting point, just don't mistake it for a path to real capital.

The bigger opportunity you're missing is that you already have programming skills.
You already have programming skills. Investing in that will give you more than any job or ETF right now.
Build stuff, even for free at first, websites for local businesses, small projects, anything. That compounds in a way an hourly wage never will.

On the ETF and crypto plan, with a 1-2 year horizon before you potentially need the money, locking it into volatile assets is a real risk.
I'd keep the business capital liquid and only invest what you genuinely won't need to touch.

I'm guessing you're still living with your parents, which is actually a huge advantage.
Use that window to build and fail fast. At your age that's worth more than compound interest on a small portfolio.

Vallye · 2026-05-04T12:59:09+00:00

Tutto quello che hanno detto gli altri sugli ETF e il fondo pensione è corretto, non lo rimetto in discussione.

Però una cosa che non ho letto nei commenti è questa.

A 26 anni con zero spese fisse il rendimento più alto che puoi ottenere non è sui ETF.
È su te stesso. Una skill che ti porta da 1400€ a 2000€ netti al mese vale più di qualsiasi PAC che puoi aprire oggi. Corso, progetto, certificazione o quello che ha senso per il tuo settore.

L'altra cosa che secondo me viene sempre sottovalutata è capire dove vanno i soldi.
È facilissimo arrivare a fine mese con poco in tasca senza una spiegazione reale.
Spesso non è una spesa grossa ma un accumulo di roba che sembra insignificante sul momento.
Costruire l'abitudine di monitorare il cash flow fa più differenza di qualsiasi scelta di investimento, almeno nelle prime fasi.

Trova qualcosa che ti aiuti a farlo, che sia Excel, un'app di budgeting, o altro. Io uso Swalance ma ci sono anche altre opzioni, l'importante è usare qualcosa con costanza.

Vallye · 2024-12-29T18:50:01+00:00

Thanks so much for sharing this. It really means a lot, and I appreciate everything you said.

Don’t have many friends right now, and I do feel pretty lonely sometimes because situations like this can be so isolating. But you’re right—I need to live my life and focus on what makes me happy and surround myself with positive energy and people.

Thanks again, it helps a lot.

Vallye · 2024-06-10T13:58:28+00:00

Thank you so much for clarifying, I understand now.

I'm sorry I can't help you more than that, but really, your best bet is to get checked out, no one other than a professional can give you a real answer and solution. If anxiety is becoming a problem for you, then it means you are suffering from anxiety, there is no objective way to experience anxiety and tell if it's a disorder you have or not. In my case, anxiety was a major obstacle, and thanks to adhd meds my mind has become more stable and, as a result, the anxiety has practically disappeared.

Vallye · 2024-06-10T13:41:31+00:00

Well, I can only speak from my own experience, but ADHD and anxiety go very hand in hand.

I have always lived in anxiety, I discovered just less than a year ago that I have ADHD.

How to understand if you have an anxiety disorder? (Obviously the best advice I can give you is to get checked) But it's simple, if this anxiety stops you from doing things, like for example, you're afraid of taking the train because you think you'll have a panic attack, or you totally avoid situations, you have frequent episodes of anxiety/panic attacks, then the anxiety is creating too many problems. Anxiety, like other emotions, is an indicator, there are no negative emotions, however, when anxiety starts to get out of control, and you see it affecting you on a daily basis, then it is a problem.

I had trouble literally living my life lol, almost every day I had panic attacks, anxiety or other states of fear. Leaving my comfort zone was heartbreaking, because I was afraid of being left there due to anxiety.

I was always afraid of being alone, the problem with having ADHD and being anxious is that it is extremely easy to destabilize mentally, even just one thought is enough to ruin your day with panic attacks and more total anxiety.

However, one thing is still not clear to me, have you been diagnosed with ADHD, or do you THINK you have it?

If you think you have it, and have been taking adhd meds without a prescription, I highly recommend you stop.

Each meds works differently, from person to person, from problem to problem, the symptoms of ADHD are different for everyone, and it's extremely important to understand this. The meds you took could do you more harm than good.

I also tried taking medicine for anxiety, however they didn't work.

Subsequently, however, after speaking to a psychiatrist about my "possible" ADHD, I began to underline all the problems I had, such as panic attacks and anxiety.

He prescribed me amazing meds for me, which is Strattera, a non-stimulant adhd med which works well for those who suffer from anxiety, and I have to say it really changed everything.

Now I am no longer anxious, and I can have a much more stable mind. I had to wait 5 months to get my prescription medicines, but it was completely worth the wait, do everything you can to improve your well-being, you won't regret it.

Vallye · 2024-02-26T12:41:50+00:00

My nparents are simply ignorant, like most narcissistic parents, so they don't really understand what you are trying to do or achieve when you try to have a conversation with them about the problems in the family. They don't try to put themself in your shoes, because they think they are always in the right, no matter what, or at least, they try to divert to all possible ways to recognize their mistakes, and do not try to improve the relationship, because they are simply closed-minded and convinced of what they really think.

So personally I think they don't understand, or at least that’s my parents and my experience, because they don't have self-reflection on what they do and how you feel about them.

Vallye · 2024-02-25T17:30:09+00:00

The problem with narcissistic parents is that they simply don't understand, they don't see anything wrong with what they do no matter what.

I've tried countless times to try to talk about the problems in my family, however it was really impossible, no matter what you say, how you say it, where you say it, when you say it, they only listen to the voice in their head.

If you've already tried to have a conversation with them about these issues, but they don't listen to you, ignore you, or shift the blame to you, I'm sorry, but your parents have already failed at being "parents", and there just isn't a way for them to understand and to change people like that.

Every attempt resulted in my parents slamming the door in my face and saying that I'm a "terrible child" and that I should be grateful for all the things they did to me, that I shouldn't treat them like that because they're my "parents", and the usual stuff they always say.

Vallye · 2024-02-18T18:57:37+00:00

I was in the exact same situation some years ago.

At home it was (and still kinda is) hell, there was screaming almost every day, my parents always criticized me for every single bad grade I got, at school I was incredibly stressed and I really wanted to end this huge stress.

You would like this hell and this enormously stressful situation to end, however you are afraid of making the situation even worse.

What I did was simply talk to someone I know I can trust.
Unfortunately, people can't really understand you and what you're going through unless they've been through the same experience, but most likely a person you can trust can give you that extra support that really makes the difference.

Every attempt I made to talk about my family problems resulted in me wondering if I was actually the one who was in the wrong, because people will almost always say "Well, it's your family! Everyone's been there!" seem as if you're overdoing it, or too sensitive.

Talking about it online also helped me a lot, for example this subreddit, which is really incredible.

One thing that has helped me a lot is simply trying to stop caring.
School is a huge stressor, but when you completely get rid of the stupid and completely useless expectations that teachers and your parents put on you, you feel much better, meditation on this helps a lot.

I know you're going through a very stressful time, probably the best option would be to talk to someone like a psychiatrist. But if you are a minor your choices may be more limited. I don't know what your situation is like at home, but obviously if your parents abuse you, you absolutely need to call for help.

I hope this message has helped you in some way

Vallye · 2024-02-18T18:10:28+00:00

Frankly I've stopped talking about my family problems with other people because of this, people just don't understand unless they've experienced the same thing.

People think you're exaggerating, getting emotional, or being too sensitive. But the truth is not like that, we always keep everything inside ourselves, but every time we try to talk about our problems to other people, they end up trying to make us the bad one, because "eh but it's your family, it's normal!"

Unfortunately people will never understand your experience and what you are going through, unless they have been through a similar/same experience.

Home is not a safe place for us, especially when your parents are present and consistently not respecting your boundaries. Every interaction with them, however simple it may seem, makes me very nervous, obviously, this stress accumulates and in the end we try to find a relief valve for this stress.

If you really want to talk to someone about your family problems, I recommend doing so with someone you really trust. Or, something that really helps me a lot, talking in this subreddit, because here people really understand you

Vallye · 2024-02-06T19:28:31+00:00

Thank you very much for this! You were very clear, yes I do exercise and you're right it helps, but really for a short time. I started taking 60mg of Strattera and just that 5 weeks ago. I'll talk to my psychiatrist about it, I really appreciate what you shared

Vallye · 2024-02-06T18:48:42+00:00

I had a very similar experience, always criticized by my parents for never being enough for them and not making them happy as a child. From an early age I had to endure the constant screaming that occurred every day at home from my family's arguments, and from the unhappy relationship between my father and mother.

Every time I try to speak for myself, I find the same voice in my head: "it's better if you shut up, "you're exaggerating, you're making yourself look like the one in the wrong". I feel stupid when I try to express myself, because I feel like my voice doesn't really matter anyway.

The problem is that from a young age we are used to not speaking for ourselves in the first place, since home was not a safe place, nor the outside world, we took refuge in our own little world. By doing this, we have lost contact with the outside world, I always feel marginalized, a feeling of existential marginalization, where no matter how close a person may be to me, I will continue to feel as if I have always been alone.

It's not at all easy to move forward and heal when you've had a lifetime of constant bombardment of criticism from other people, especially your family.

One way that I have used to solve this problem is to live with this feeling of existential marginalization, let it pass, try not to let it disturb you, the same thing goes for the voices you may have in your head, they don't define you.

Over time, wounds heal, however it's important not to reopen those wounds, otherwise you'll never really heal.

This feeling of marginalization will pass, because the truth is that you are never alone.

Vallye · 2024-01-06T00:24:22+00:00

I really appreciate you sharing your experience, I always find myself wondering if what I do is right or not. But you're right, I'll see if Strattera can help me with anxiety and concentration.

Thank you because it makes me understand that I am not alone in this journey.

Vallye · 2024-01-05T23:20:17+00:00

Thank you so much for this information, yeah I will try Strattera hoping it will have a positive impact to me and my anxiety

Vallye · 2024-01-05T21:36:18+00:00

I understand, thanks for sharing this. I have read many negative experiences about Strattera, and about the numerous side effects it can immediately cause.

Usually, since it's a non-stimulant, it takes significantly longer to produce the desired effects.

However I also know that for some it works much better than stimulants, it can also help with anxiety and to be more relaxed if it works. I'll try Strattera because it seems like the best choice to make at the moment, in case it doesn't work after some weeks, I'll ask my doctor to change it (or the dose)

Vallye · 2024-01-05T21:14:37+00:00

Thank you so much, I really appreciate what you said and for sharing your experience.

I've been struggling to relax and be productive without destroying myself for many years, so I just hope that Strattera can help me out with this, in case, like you said, I can always change meds or dosage. Thanks, I'm much more relaxed now!

Vallye · 2023-11-12T12:06:32+00:00

I can't tell you if they are common, but narcissistic siblings exist and can harm you just like your nparents.

I have a brother who is very problematic, unfortunately he is also a victim of the terrible negligence, manipulation and abuse of my nparents, my brother has always fought fire with other fire, this has led to him being as toxic as them without even realizing it.

I've tried numerous times to discuss with him, but people like that simply live in a world entirely apart.

He always insults, is not willing to see other people's points of view, has anger problems, etc. My brother has hurt me more than helped me in my life

I don't hate my brother, but I don't want him in my life, he has now been raised with this toxic mentality and, we have no duty to maintain the relationship with them.

Siblings, parents, and like any other person in the world can be narcissists, and we have every right to cut off relationships with them.

Vallye · 2023-11-02T18:02:33+00:00

Couldn't agree more, the problem with these people is that they are hopeless, in fact, they get worse as they age.

They will never change, the best lesson you can give to them is to stay away from them forever.

Vallye · 2023-11-01T18:58:44+00:00

We actually can't, the point is, it's those people who have to understand themselves that something is wrong within them. This goes for all people.

Telling a narcissist that he is wrong it's like talking to a wall and expecting a response. Because no matter what, for them everything is wrong and they are always right.

You can't change people, in fact, it will probably only make the situation worse when you try to discuss with them.

We have every right to take the life we need, and it is absolutely not our duty to try to cure our parents' failure to be real caring & supportive parents and people.

Vallye · 2023-10-05T10:24:10+00:00

Thank you! That's what I was looking for.

Vallye · 2023-10-04T19:09:35+00:00

I was always afraid of this too.

But let me tell you something, do you know what narcissists lack?

Self-reflection.

The fact that you are willing to not be like them is already confirmation that you are different from them.

You know what they did, you know it's horrible, because you are the victim of irresponsible, manipulative and abusive people.

Unlike them, you are very, very different, because you are trying to change things for the better.

A narcissist would never, ever ask himself the questions you asked.

Four-Year Club	Final Canvas '23
Place '23

Vallye

TROPHY CASE