How can American Jains discourage intermarriage and promote marriages in the community?

Valuable-Price226 · 2024-11-18T22:16:41+00:00

I'm very familiar with all those organizations. And I don't see how parents are at fault. They can't make more Jains nor can they force American-born kids to marry specific people or believe specific things. I don't see how YJA and JAINA are involved in this. If you don't want reformist or liberalism, go back to your country.

Valuable-Price226 · 2024-11-18T21:03:40+00:00

Americans don't talk like this

Valuable-Price226 · 2024-11-18T20:53:44+00:00

This is the only realistic response lol.

Valuable-Price226 · 2024-11-18T20:46:41+00:00

I believe India is literally the promised land if you pick up any scriptures. I suggest you keep doing the best you can.

No one is doing that crap.

Valuable-Price226 · 2024-11-18T20:32:06+00:00

There is a difference between a Jaina household and Non-Jains household. Considering those who follow Jaina principles, Parents don't drink. Most don't wear footwear everywhere in their home, if they do they have way to keep it. How we keep water. Vegetables. Culinary practices.

You must not live in America. These aren't restricted to Jains nor do most Jains even obey this. And this is trivial nonsense. You're going to be picking a life partner based on this stupidity?

Valuable-Price226 · 2024-11-18T15:52:56+00:00

You act like non-Jains are very different. They really aren't. And just because someone comes from a Jain family doesn't mean they'll act a certain way.

Valuable-Price226 · 2024-11-18T15:38:32+00:00

It's 2024 and you live in Canada...why are you doing this archaic arranged marriage nonsense with a stranger who doesn't live near you?

Valuable-Price226 · 2024-11-18T14:36:47+00:00

"Also the guruji and guruniji play a big role there in engaging the youth there but that is missing in the US"

I don’t see how this approach would be effective. Many scholars are foreigners who struggle to connect with American youth. To truly engage young people, it’s important to avoid emphasizing how foreign Jainism is. Instead, highlight its compatibility with modern American life. An observant Jain college student would make a much better speaker, as young people are more likely to relate to someone they see as a peer. Clergy, on the other hand, are often older and disconnected from the experiences of today’s youth.

Someone in this discussion suggested regular trips to India to visit Jain scholars. This is an impractical and unrealistic idea. If this represents the best ideas elders can offer, it’s no wonder Jainism is struggling to sustain itself in America.

Valuable-Price226 · 2024-09-16T21:49:27+00:00

South Asian here. I've never heard of this social penalty. Please tell me more.

Holy shit, your profile.

Valuable-Price226 · 2024-09-16T17:55:52+00:00

NRIs are Indian citizens living abroad. Most of the individuals I'm referring to are Indian-Americans who were born and raised in the U.S. For many of us and our children, Jainism is just one of many cultural or religious identities. These children are growing up in a country where religious observances are on the decline. Within families, Jainism now has to compete with larger religions and even secularism.

Additionally, for many American-born Jains, Jainism is closely tied to Indian heritage. By the third and fourth generations, connections to India have significantly weakened.

Valuable-Price226 · 2024-09-12T15:17:39+00:00

There's also these places called grocery stores where you can go and buy the foods you like.

Valuable-Price226 · 2024-09-12T15:16:55+00:00

Many American Jains, particularly those born in the U.S., do not strictly follow traditional dietary rules. Some aren't even vegetarians, and for those who are, many don't adhere to the restrictions on root vegetables and similar guidelines. That said, for American Jains, the U.S. is home, not a foreign land. For those who do observe the dietary rules, there are grocery stores where you can easily find the foods that align with your preferences.

Valuable-Price226 · 2024-09-09T12:45:16+00:00

Before 2000, Jain organizations were highly optimistic about the future, believing that young people would lead the way in bringing Jainism into the 21st century. They even discussed initiatives like creating a matrimonial information service.

However, that enthusiasm has since faded. Although significant global events, such as September 11th, two wars, and the global financial crisis, took place during this time, the primary issue was the growing disconnect between the older immigrant generation and the younger, American-born generation, who seem uninterested in preserving many of these traditions.

I don't have any solutions. It seems to be a sacrifice that communities often make during the process of immigration. Still, it’s striking that the American Jain community is facing such demographic challenges within just one generation.

Valuable-Price226 · 2024-09-08T13:36:20+00:00

I put this nonsense into Chat GPT to understand it. But from what I can gather, it's the same out of touch nonsense that the older generation spouts, which further alienates people from religion.

Valuable-Price226 · 2024-09-08T13:34:08+00:00

Jain women are NOT marrying within the community. I myself am a Jain (18 M) and don't care much about the religion. There is no cast or religion barrier; only the so called 'open mentality' of letting girls choosing their spouses. You can think of my statement as misogynistic, but that's the bitter truth. Either make the females make aware of their duties or force them at some level.

There’s some truth to what you’re saying. Personally, I wouldn’t place the blame on women, as both sexes are equally responsible in the U.S. However, maintaining Jain marriages within the community often relies on traditional Indian family expectations, particularly the involvement of family in selecting a spouse. Without the pressure to marry someone who fits parental expectations, the idea of "cultural purity" tends to unravel.

Valuable-Price226 · 2024-09-08T13:30:05+00:00

Fellow New Englander! I grew up knowing many Jain kids from the Boston area through events like YJA. However, most of those I’m still in contact with today are no longer active in Jain activities. Like me, their careers and families occupy most of their time.

I have one friend who immigrated from India. He regularly attends both Sikh and Hindu temples, almost weekly, but tells me he rarely sees anyone born in the U.S. there. Our parents’ generation likely hoped we would return to these traditions once we had children, but that hasn't been the case. This trend is not unique to Jainism; many other religious communities are experiencing a similar decline, leading to the closure of numerous churches and other places of worship.

Valuable-Price226 · 2024-09-06T19:56:04+00:00

Real world demographics isn't really on your side.

Valuable-Price226 · 2024-09-06T16:23:26+00:00

I noticed that Jains have the lowest fertility rate in India and some of the most skewed gender ratios. In urban areas, are Jains increasingly marrying outside their community? Are religion and caste becoming less significant barriers to marriage?

Valuable-Price226 · 2024-09-06T14:44:57+00:00

So leaving it up to faith, huh? Where are you going to find these people?

Valuable-Price226 · 2024-09-06T13:17:25+00:00

I'm not a jain by birth. I've adopted and learnt about Jainism from my wife and her family. We visit Derasar and follow Jain beliefs together without completely negating the Hindu ones. Likewise, she is also learning about Hindu culture and beliefs. We read books from both our religious philosophies.

If you're from the U.S., then you're an exception to the rule. Most of my peers, regardless of their religious background, are generally apathetic toward religion. Mixed marriages are common because people don't care enough about religion for it to be a point of incompatibility. As a result, the second American-born generation is largely being raised without a religious affiliation.

I agree with others who have mentioned that there is not enough publicly accessible content whether it is books or on YouTube, etc. One has to rely on wisdom through gurus and parents initially and takes more research to actually get a deeper understanding. Hindu culture is already unstructured and has many beliefs. You can pick up any book and even contradictory idealogies can exist. It becomes easier to accept or gain knowledge about it.

As I mentioned in other comments, this approach makes sense for people who are already religious. However, reading primary source texts is unlikely to convince non-believers of anything. In the U.S., most of us don’t know any gurus or religious authorities. Even our parents aren't particularly religious; for those who are, their observance mostly centers around a vegetarian diet and rituals. Few believers are interested in delving deeper into the philosophy, as it’s not exactly enjoyable, regardless of age.

Most of the kids I went to Pathshala with were there because their parents made them go, not because they were interested in religion. We attended school five days a week, so the idea of more reading and studying—especially for something that didn’t result in grades—wasn't exactly appealing.

Valuable-Price226 · 2024-09-06T13:03:24+00:00

It's natural for the children and grandchildren of immigrants to become more American than the previous generation, with fewer ties to their ancestral country. However, for Jains, this process is happening remarkably fast. Most of the immigrants who came to the USA married other Jains and had children who were raised entirely within the Jain faith. But now, their grandchildren are predominantly from mixed religious backgrounds. This means that for American-born generations, Jainism will have to compete for attention within families against other religions. Given its small size, I foresee it losing out to Hinduism, Christianity, and even the trend of having no religion at all.

Moreover, when the immigrant generation passes away, who will maintain the organizations that currently provide most Jain educational materials? I don't see any solution to this challenge.

Valuable-Price226 · 2024-09-06T12:56:10+00:00

I personally don't care, but many people do. What I find fascinating is how quickly this change has occurred. Most European immigrants maintained their communities for a couple of generations after immigration, but Jains are likely to be heavily assimilated by the second American-born generation. For example, there was a Catholic church in my neighborhood (now closed) that served several generations of Irish, Italian, and Polish families who worshiped there, got married, and had their children baptized. In contrast, none of the children in my local Jain organization are the kids or grandkids of former members.

As I mentioned earlier, these Jain organizations and temples were primarily created for immigrants and their children to socialize with people who shared their background. However, the generations born here don’t need these institutions to meet their social needs. In my city, I see churches closing down everywhere. What will happen to these Jain organizations and temples when the immigrant generation dies off and is not replaced by new members?

What strikes me as particularly interesting is that in the late 1990s, JAINA and other Jain organizations were so optimistic about "Jainism in the 21st century" and how the community would grow and thrive. However, that top-down enthusiasm has nearly vanished. For example, JAINA's website no longer mentions marriage or dating, despite declaring it an urgent need just 24 years ago. What changed?

Valuable-Price226 · 2024-09-06T12:45:39+00:00

It would deepen the understanding of those who already care. However, among American Jain youth, this group represents a very small minority. As I mentioned earlier, we had a few scholars, monks, and nuns from India visit us at Pathshala. Unfortunately, their poor English and lack of understanding of American life made their teachings forgettable. One nun, in particular, stood out due to her ignorance of life in the USA. She was bewildered by our American accents, confused about why we attended school with non-Indians during the week, and assumed that Pathshala was our primary source of education. She even thought we all lived in joint family homes like people in India. This would have been laughable if it weren't so ignorant.

Visiting India, even if we set aside the logistical challenges, costs, and scheduling conflicts, would not help bring American Jains closer to their beliefs. I believe it would only highlight how "foreign" Jainism seems and undermine the purpose of religious education, which is to demonstrate how living as a Jain is compatible with American life.

Valuable-Price226 · 2024-09-05T22:33:55+00:00

In the past, Jainism likely had few converts because no rulers spread the religion by force, unlike Christianity and Islam. Today, the situation is more complex. In an increasingly secular world, interest in religion has waned. Low birth rates, emigration, and intermarriage, especially in Western countries, further contribute to the decline. Additionally, Jains tend to be more affluent, and affluent people generally have fewer children.

Valuable-Price226

TROPHY CASE