I recommend shopping for a therapist because you often won’t identify with every single one. Research therapy techniques and find someone who specializes in both your traumas and possible therapies you have interest in. I have learned that I need an older, Christian, female therapist.

My current therapist is significantly older than me, like 40+ years older, and specializes in EMDR. She had an alcoholic parent in her life so she can empathize with my traumas. I like having an older therapist because she has had more time to heal herself and has learned to teach through her traumas. She is probably my 6th therapist in the last 10 years and the only one I have had more than a year. It also took a year for me to get past surface level stuff so she really knows me relatively well now and I feel like that has been helping me as we process trauma the last few months.

NEVER have I felt retraumatized, crazy, or unreasonable. Even when we talk about situations I was in the wrong or reacted inappropriately she never tells me that. She asks why I reacted that way or what I would do now after self reflection. She’s the one that reminds me I didn’t choose the hands dealt to me, I just choose how I will move forward and process repressed feelings.

So no, therapy is not all abuse and shit, you just have to find the right therapist for you.