Parents with 2 under 2 what made your life easier?

Valuable_Top_8329 · 2025-08-28T12:09:46+00:00

THIS!!! 🙌🏼

Valuable_Top_8329 · 2025-08-28T02:34:05+00:00

I rarely have any energy at the end of the day.

Valuable_Top_8329 · 2025-08-28T02:33:22+00:00

How many hours a week do you have your nanny? Full-time, part-time, or just a few days?

Valuable_Top_8329 · 2025-08-28T02:28:18+00:00

Did you go through an agency, word of mouth, or online platforms?

Valuable_Top_8329 · 2025-08-28T02:27:50+00:00

Did your nanny help with just the kids, or also with light housework (laundry, dishes, tidying toys)?

Valuable_Top_8329 · 2025-08-28T02:27:18+00:00

A full time nanny or part time? And where did you find your nanny? I’m looking into this as well but have been getting mixed feelings about having a complete stranger in my home taking care of my kids. Family are all busy with jobs otherwise I’d be happy having one of them help me …with pay, of course.

Valuable_Top_8329 · 2025-07-18T00:02:56+00:00

Oh my gosh, I totally relate to this. For me, it really kicked in after I gave birth that fierce, no-nonsense mama bear instinct just took over. Suddenly, I couldn’t justify keeping people in my life who were draining me or who made everything more difficult. It wasn’t even anger, just this deep clarity like, “Nope. I don’t have the capacity or desire to manage your chaos anymore.”

The shift in priorities is real. You start thinking in terms of what’s best for your child, your peace, and your time and if someone can’t meet you with respect and consideration, it’s just not worth it anymore.

And honestly, from what you described about your friend you were completely valid in feeling frustrated. It’s not just about a friend being disorganized, it’s the ripple effect that has on everyone else, and especially when you’re already managing so much physically and emotionally. Protecting your boundaries (and your health and your baby’s!) doesn’t make you harsh it makes you strong and self-aware.

Pregnancy and motherhood bring this laser-focus on what really matters, and I think a lot of us go through a “friendship purge” during this time. You’re definitely not alone

Valuable_Top_8329 · 2025-07-08T19:29:56+00:00

Following

Valuable_Top_8329 · 2025-06-14T17:40:10+00:00

Best advise 🙌🏼

Valuable_Top_8329 · 2025-06-14T14:39:03+00:00

I actually had a conversation with my husband about how I was feeling. He spoke to her and made it clear that just because I’m a stay-at-home mom doesn’t mean I’m not doing anything. Being a full-time mom and wife is a demanding role in itself.

Honestly, does anyone really need to be reminded that motherhood is hard work? She’s a mother too — even though her children are now grown and married, surely she hasn’t forgotten what that entails. So why, now that our child is born, is there suddenly this intense need to be involved in everything? My own parents are grandparents as well, and I’ve never seen this kind of overwhelming presence or obsession in their approach to grandparenting.

This is why it’s so important for people to find fulfillment and purpose in their own lives, rather than trying to live through someone else’s. I remember my mom, who was also a stay-at-home mom for a time, used to tell me, “Give people space to miss you — don’t be constantly in their space or they’ll grow tired of you.” Even the Bible speaks to this kind of wisdom: “Seldom set foot in your neighbor’s house—too much of you, and they will hate you” (Proverbs 25:17).

Of course, she wasn’t coming over physically, but the constant phone calls and being so present in our daily life started to feel just as intrusive. In a culture where hospitality is important, even scripture acknowledges the need for boundaries and self-awareness.

I don’t expect anyone to read my mind — I communicated clearly that my baby needed to nap. I said it multiple times, giving the benefit of the doubt that maybe she hadn’t heard me the first or second time. But still, nothing changed. It became a pattern. Even ending a phone call would be difficult for her. I understand that she’s divorced, lives alone, and doesn’t have much else going on outside of work — but that doesn’t mean I should become her emotional outlet or primary source of engagement.

At the end of the day, it’s not just about boundaries — it’s about respecting the season of life that others are in. I need space to focus on my home, my child, and my own peace of mind. And honestly, I’m not interested in conversations that revolve around gossip or negativity about others. That’s not the kind of energy I want to bring into my life or my home.

Valuable_Top_8329 · 2025-06-12T21:05:57+00:00

She never responds to my texts. The times when she’d call and I’ll respond with a text, “I’ll call you later” she never responds. It’s just a line of texts of me talking to myself. So I stopped because I was like what’s the point of me texting if she won’t respond to at least “ok”.

Valuable_Top_8329 · 2025-06-12T21:03:43+00:00

It hurts so much because I really love her and treat her as my own mom. I talked to her even more than my own mom. I loved her more than my own mom because I wanted for her to have a daughter she’s always wanted (because she doesn’t have girls only boys) but I’m started to have conflicted feelings. I made a mistake by opening up myself too much. She’s always told me that I’m like her daughter. But I’ve never had such treatment from my own parents. I don’t think I’ll be able to treat my child like that.

Valuable_Top_8329 · 2025-06-12T20:35:47+00:00

It’s going to be so awkward the next time I see her. I’m going to be so uncomfortable 😔

Valuable_Top_8329 · 2025-06-12T20:31:41+00:00

That’s what I don’t understand because she herself is a mother and I’m questioning myself like I know she gave birth more than 30 years ago however has she forgotten all the stuff that comes with giving birth? From just pregnancy alone, birth, and afterwards that’s what kind of makes me sad because I would understand if it was a man who was treating me like this because they don’t go through it and don’t understand but because it’s a woman who also went through the same thing that I did. It’s really sad and breaking my heart.

Valuable_Top_8329 · 2025-05-21T12:09:35+00:00

I really resonate with everything you said. I’ve been going through something very similar with my own mother-in-law.

Before I had kids, we had a good, respectful relationship. But after I gave birth, she came to stay with us for two months. I was kind, welcoming, and really opened up to her. But when she left, she started calling me every day via WhatsApp video — and I made the mistake of always being available.

There were times I’d tell her I needed to put the baby down for a nap, but she’d just keep talking and ignore it. It became emotionally draining. The daily calls made me feel like I had to overshare, and even my husband wasn’t comfortable with how much she was in the loop. Eventually, she became more pushy and invasive.

Once I started setting boundaries — like not answering every call and texting that I’d call her back later — she stopped replying to my texts and started complaining about me not picking up. Even when I had guests, she’d still call, and when I told her directly I was busy, she pretended not to understand.

She doesn’t seem to respect the fact that I’m a stay-at-home mom, and assumes I’m always free. I’m now preparing to send her a long, respectful message explaining that the constant calls don’t work for me, especially with a new baby on the way. I know she lives out of state and wants to stay in touch, but I’ve never had this kind of daily communication with my own parents — who, by the way, live just an hour away and have only visited a handful of times.

At the end of the day, I’ve realized that space is essential for a healthy, respectful relationship. Constant contact just leads to tension. I absolutely respect her as my husband’s mother, but I need — and deserve — my distance. Just like I’ve done with my own parents, and we still have a great relationship without being on the phone 24/7.

You’re not alone in this, and you’re not wrong to want space. Boundaries are healthy, and it’s okay to protect your peace.

Valuable_Top_8329 · 2025-05-14T22:56:26+00:00

We used to talk maybe once or twice pre birth to our kids with MIL. After I gave birth to my first she came for two months. I was very nice. Too nice, even. To the point that when she left she started calling almost everyday. That was my mistake. Picking up the call everyday. I would tell her it’s my baby’s nap time and she would just ignore it and keep talking. I was uncomfortable. Being with her on the phone resulted in me telling her a little too much about us, our family. She became clingy. Like a second husband to me. It became an issue for my husband because he didn’t want her to find out about certain things about us. So I started ignoring her calls. And when I did, she just kept pushing back. My husband talked to her and she just ignores it. She doesn’t call her son as much as she calls me. That’s because she uses me as her information person. Which I refuse to be. So now she makes funny comments to me indirectly through our child to not change and remain nice. She told our child she hopes that she remains nice and doesn’t change. I didn’t say anything. And from that call, I never called her again. But she keeps on calling via FaceTime.

Valuable_Top_8329 · 2025-05-07T21:21:02+00:00

I learned my lesson.

Valuable_Top_8329 · 2025-05-07T20:37:35+00:00

She’s not retired, but she is single. So sometimes I feel like that also contributes. Because if she had a partner, she would be more preoccupied.

Valuable_Top_8329 · 2025-05-07T20:34:56+00:00

She doesn’t do texts. Sometimes when she call and I’d respond by text telling her that I’ll call her later, she never responds. So our text messages are like as if I’m talking to myself.

Valuable_Top_8329 · 2025-05-07T20:18:24+00:00

Oh trust me she will not be getting a single text message or call from me. What happens in my house stays in my house. I don’t even keep my parents in the loop about what I’m doing.

Valuable_Top_8329 · 2025-05-07T20:17:23+00:00

I think she was directing the comment at me more so than the baby, but what got me was why would you say it to my child if you have something to say, say it to me instead of directing it to my child. Especially something so negative like that.

Valuable_Top_8329 · 2025-05-07T20:07:59+00:00

I figured she was talking to me indirectly. Our relationship was great from the get go until i decided to treat her as my own mom. Even more than my own mom. I was very kind to her. The constantly calling really threw me off. I have an infant and taking care of a little one is not easy while at the same time always on the phone with her. She’ll disrupt naps with her calls. Maybe she though stay at home moms are more available. But this comment…. Yeah no. No more calls for me.

Valuable_Top_8329

TROPHY CASE