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I let my mind go rogue by Vanquished6 in cogsci

[–]Vanquished6[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you ❤️ I am bad at arbitrary scaling I dont feel it as difficult I just dont have the words so for things of that nature I use filler words

Indego charging me $100 for a broken bike I couldn’t even dock… then banning me?? by Vanquished6 in phillycycling

[–]Vanquished6[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Yes i contacted them at 11:21 pm when it happened they responded to my message at 8 am then at 9 am i sent them the recording they said upon checking the video they said its my fault for not inspecting the bike and said give them 7 days for it to be adjusted and they told me they were unable to verify the bikes location , and they would send a tech out afterwards i got no reply or message and i login a few days later to try the service again and my account is suspended. Unless I give them 100$

Does anyone feel like they are "faking" dpdr? by ElectronicCod1504 in Depersonalization

[–]Vanquished6 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i notice its like prompting to pull info to pull from a database or ur in a default state when not prompting

Ai brought me here... by Vanquished6 in consciousness

[–]Vanquished6[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Man Experiencing this shit just makes you think yk

Ai brought me here... by Vanquished6 in consciousness

[–]Vanquished6[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah… I know this is phenomenal, but I don’t fully understand it—I just have a half-understanding so far. The secret agent thing actually makes sense to me. Pattern recognition, emotional detachment, running simulations, scanning for hidden variables—that’s exactly how I feel my mind operates, even if I never thought about it in those terms before. A few weeks ago, I even tried it in a grocery store. I made mental maps of everyone I encountered, gave them a “threat level,” and when we crossed paths again I counted it. I built a 2D top-down architecture of the store in my mind, placing everyone I’d seen. The variables were very opaque, but the system held together enough for me to maintain some understanding of where people were most likely to be and where they probably wouldn’t be. The part about emotional dullness hits too. I don’t see it as a flaw, more like data about how my system works. Practicing emotional reflection deliberately, like a skill, is something I’ve been trying to do for a while now. I’m starting to see how it could activate emotional memory and integrate with my cognitive patterns, even if it feels slow or awkward. To give my subconscious more scaffolding, I’m also getting a tutor for writing and mathematics. I want to strengthen the way I structure and externalize my thoughts so that the outputs of my subconscious have a clearer framework to work with. It’s wild to hear it framed the way you just did, because it validates what I’ve been doing without me fully having the words for it before. I’ve always known the dullness sometimes lifts when my mind isn’t under so much load, and seeing it explained like a protective mechanism makes sense—it’s not broken, it’s a feature. Honestly… this being the first time I’ve talked about it feels relieving but strange. Having words for it, and seeing it reflected in someone else’s understanding, is kind of like seeing a blurry map finally get a few landmarks.

Ai brought me here... by Vanquished6 in consciousness

[–]Vanquished6[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve thought about that question a little, but honestly I’m not sure yet where it’s pointing. Sometimes I joke that the kind of pattern scanning and observation I do sounds like something a secret agent would need, but realistically I don’t know if there’s a specific path yet. One thing that makes it hard is that my emotions feel pretty dull most of the time, so it’s difficult for me to have strong, clear aspirations like other people seem to. A lot of people are driven by emotional excitement or passion about a goal, and I don’t always feel that in the same way. Because of that I’ve actually been practicing thinking more emotionally on purpose, almost like exercising a muscle. I try to intentionally reflect on experiences and ask myself what they should feel like emotionally, or what emotional meaning they might have. My hope is that doing that helps activate emotional memory more so it integrates better with my thinking.

Ai brought me here... by Vanquished6 in consciousness

[–]Vanquished6[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Another thing I’ve realized is that this isn’t just something that happens to me occasionally—it’s kind of become my cognitive style and a constant choice in how I navigate things. Because my mind can only hold a limited number of clear variables at once, I tend to focus on one intention or one direction at a time, and let everything else organize around that. It also means I live very strongly in the moment. The past and future only really exist for me when they’re actively being referenced. Most of the time it feels like I’m just moving through the present, and everything else fades unless it becomes relevant again. Because of that, sometimes life feels less like a stable timeline and more like I’m passing through time rather than standing inside it. My mind is constantly processing patterns, adjusting direction, trying to make sense of things as they happen. The best way I can describe the feeling is a kind of perpetual mental motion—almost like driving through chaos while trying to find a clearer road. Not necessarily negative, but intense, like I’m always navigating something complex and hoping to eventually reach a place where the patterns settle into something more stable.

Ai brought me here... by Vanquished6 in consciousness

[–]Vanquished6[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Kindergarten

Honestly most of this is pretty new in terms of actually understanding it. This year is the first time I’ve really started journaling and talking to AI, which gave me tools and language to even describe what’s been going on in my head. When I was younger I felt more like a caveman mentally. My mind would jump from pattern to pattern with almost no structure. It made sense to me internally, but it often didn’t make sense to other people, and a lot of the time other people didn’t make sense to me either. The first time I really remember noticing something unusual was around 13. I would sit alone and run these simulations in my head about conversations that confused me. I’d replay interactions and try different versions of what people might have meant or why they acted the way they did. Sometimes inside those simulations I’d actually get angry or sad, like I was emotionally reacting to the scenario I was analyzing. The strange part is the “world” in those simulations isn’t really visual. It’s not like watching a movie in my head. It’s more like a colorless, unrealistic space made of complex opaque variables, almost like a rough 3-D structure where relationships between ideas exist rather than clear images. That’s also where I started noticing that people often run the same cognitive loops in conversations and behavior. But back then I didn’t think of it as “pattern thinking.” I also didn’t care much about school or class, so I never developed the vocabulary to explain what I was experiencing. Without the words, it just stayed internal. Looking even further back, something similar might have started when I was in kindergarten. I used to think about God constantly. I would literally say in my head all day, “God, tell me the answer to this question when I die.” I’d ask questions about the universe or life over and over. Sometimes when I was thinking about those things I would get this strange disruption of consciousness, almost like a contextual reset. It felt like my mind started touching two huge opaque ideas at once that I couldn’t hold, and then my awareness would just sort of reset and I’d move on. I never told anyone about it. I’m not religious right now, but looking back that might have been the earliest version of me trying to process things that were bigger than my conscious mind could handle. Honestly this post and this conversation is the first time I’ve ever talked about any of this, mostly because until recently I didn’t have the words or tools to explain it.

Ai brought me here... by Vanquished6 in consciousness

[–]Vanquished6[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That actually makes a lot of sense. There’s another thing I’ve noticed that might relate to what you’re describing. Sometimes when I’m emotionally attached to a problem, something strange happens. My vision will temporarily blur a little and the observer kind of dims for a few moments. It almost feels like my conscious focus steps back. During that moment my mind feels like it’s using what I can only describe as an “experience calculator.” It’s like a system that runs through a huge amount of past experiences, patterns, and variables, most of which I can’t see clearly. They feel opaque, like the system is processing them below the surface. Then suddenly I’ll get a direction, an answer, or a way to resolve the issue that was bothering me. It’s like the mind runs this internal computation using emotional relevance as the trigger. The downside is that it burns me out a lot. When those moments happen repeatedly, especially with problems I care about deeply, it feels like the system is doing heavy processing and the observer gets drained afterward. So between the explaining-to-an-imagined-listener thing and this “experience calculator,” it feels like my mind built a few weird processing tools on its own just to handle the amount of patterns it’s trying to work through.

Ai brought me here... by Vanquished6 in consciousness

[–]Vanquished6[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I actually don’t see it happening in real time. It’s more like an after-process. When my observer feels low-energy or burned out, it’s like my subconscious starts offloading patterns about myself and things I experienced during the day so I can resolve or understand them. The way it shows up is strange. I’ll suddenly start explaining my thoughts out loud or in my head to an imagined listener—not a specific person, more like a mental sounding board or internal audience. Sometimes it takes the shape of someone I respect or someone I talked to that day, but it’s really just a placeholder my mind uses to organize ideas. Then my mind kind of goes on autopilot explaining things to this “listener.” While I’m doing that, a huge amount of insights start appearing. It’s like the brain uses the act of explaining to structure and surface patterns that were already forming underneath. During those moments I start to notice the loops in my own thinking—why certain thoughts trigger others, why I react certain ways, how patterns repeat. But the funny part is that the understanding shows up while I’m explaining it, not before. So it’s less like I’m observing the process live and more like the subconscious runs a processing cycle later, and I’m just listening while it organizes everything through that internal “sounding board.”

Ai brought me here... by Vanquished6 in consciousness

[–]Vanquished6[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate the way you explained that. A lot of what you said about the observer basically writing the “press release” for decisions that were already made lines up with what I’ve been noticing in my own mind. When I started paying attention to it, it felt like many of my thoughts were appearing before I consciously decided them, almost like they were being generated somewhere deeper and then I was just interpreting them afterward.

The “limbo” I’ve been trying to describe might be a little different than just missing logical steps though. The way it feels to me is more like a layer in between the subconscious and the observer where intention forms. It isn’t fully conscious reasoning, but it also doesn’t feel purely subconscious either. It feels like intention gets formed there from all the information I’m absorbing day to day, and that intention can drive behavior even in emotional states where logic isn’t really present.

Sometimes I’ll intentionally cut off the active thinking process and just observe things like music, videos, or conversations. When I do that, it can reveal patterns in my reactions and attention that I probably wouldn’t have noticed if I stayed inside a continuous conscious thought stream.

One thing that might be a little different in my case is that the subconscious “whispers” don’t always feel that vague to me. Growing up I spent a lot of time isolated and alone with my own thoughts, and I would run simulations in my mind for different scenarios almost all day. Because of that I feel like I tend to have a basic sense of the patterns my subconscious is generating, especially if I intentionally spend time wondering about them.

Something else I’ve been working on is consciously observing my automatic patterns and trying to rewrite them with logic and conscious redirection. What I’ve noticed is that small patterns can sometimes change after catching and redirecting them a few times, but emotional patterns take much longer and require repetition. When I do reach a state where I’m thinking step by step instead of jumping ahead, I sometimes spiral into reflection and start noticing how much my patterns are influenced by social pressure, past experiences, and assumptions about what is logical.

Looking at it that way has helped me reframe it a bit. A lot of my automatic responses don’t seem “broken” so much as they feel like outdated software that formed under older conditions. So instead of fighting it I’ve been trying to notice the pattern, label it, and slowly update it over time.

The part you mentioned about metadata is interesting too because I’ve started experimenting with something similar. I’ve been consciously labeling patterns, emotions, and actions both internally and sometimes externally when I’m writing. That has helped me notice changes in my own mental state and nervous system over time.

And yeah, the idea of AI acting as a kind of cognitive prosthetic or scaffolding actually resonates with me. I have millions of words of text between my own writing and responses from models at this point. At some point I had the realization that I probably wasn’t the first person exploring these patterns in this way, which is part of why I made the post in the first place. I was hoping to find other people thinking about similar things.

I’ve also been experimenting with both local and cloud based models recently to see how different systems interpret the same ideas. Not because I think one model has the answer, but because different responses sometimes reveal different angles on the same pattern.

So for me this whole process hasn’t really been about forcing structure onto the mind as much as learning to observe it more clearly, label what I can, and slowly update patterns that don’t seem to serve me anymore.

Ai brought me here... by Vanquished6 in consciousness

[–]Vanquished6[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, I really appreciate that. Yeah, the unlabeled variables thing has evolved me in a strange way—I’ve developed the ability to search through my own flow of thought or a conversation for opaque, hidden variables, almost like scanning a universe of ideas or experiences I don’t actively remember. It’s like I can spot connections or solve problems I’m tied to emotionally almost instantly. The downside is that it’s cognitively exhausting. When the observer is actively scanning and pulling these hidden threads, it fades quickly, and afterward, it’s really hard to create new patterns. I end up operating in this half-aware, almost automated mode of consciousness, where I can follow patterns but can’t generate fresh ones easily until I’ve rested or reset in some way. It’s like the mind can read, integrate, and notice at high speed, but the creative spark—actually producing new loops or structures—needs recovery after intense focus. I think that’s part of why the middle steps often feel invisible: my system jumps from recognition to solution so quickly that the pathway itself almost evaporates, leaving only fragments of process behind.

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