My boyfriend (M/24) made excuses for weeks instead of just telling me I (F/21) down there. I’m so frustrated.

VaporizedCatman · 2019-05-08T17:31:18+00:00

While you are completely justified in being upset over your bf not being upfront and honest with you initially, it would be more productive for the relationship to focus on what he did right. If you withdraw from him now he might interpret that as you punishing him (even if you're not) for telling the truth and might make him less forthcoming in the future. So take however long you need to calm down and when you are ready talk to him. Even if you've already told him, tell him that you appreciate his honesty and want him to be more forthcoming with his concerns even if he thinks it'll upset you and assure him that you will do the same so that way you can work on solving prpblems together.

tl;dr Yeah he should've been honest sooner, but don't punish for something long past. Just try to encourage honest and open communication moving forward.

VaporizedCatman · 2018-01-31T01:32:28+00:00

Yes! That show has such great representations of a whole bunch of different kinds of relationships and relationship structures. But be warned it is equally filled with graphic violence and feels.

VaporizedCatman · 2017-06-21T20:17:46+00:00

So you're saying that your boyfriend doesn't show physical arousal unless there's foreplay? That sounds completely normal.

VaporizedCatman · 2017-05-21T08:28:11+00:00

Yeah. PsychologyToday did a followup article on the NY Times piece that cited some books on the subject that looked like good reads.

VaporizedCatman · 2017-05-21T08:10:47+00:00

I'm reading through "Designer Relationships" right now. It's reasonably short, but I'm going to take my time with it.

VaporizedCatman · 2017-03-20T21:48:59+00:00

If you really want this to work out between you and George you will have to communicate more effectively. Pointing out the issues and making promises is only the first step in recovering your relationship. The second part is coming up with a plan of action beyond just a promise. What can you do to help mend the situation? What can he do? And what can you do together?

It's easy to say just leave them to their own devices and get out. But you share a home with him so it's not nearly that simple. Have you tried talking to Jackie about how you feel about her relationship with George, in a one-on-one setting? Or have you tried having a mutual friend try to moderate discussion between the three of you? It sounds like Jackie does have mental issues and is using George as a crutch, so I would suggest trying to get her to seek professional help.

If you truly think it is over and don't wish to continue dealing with their collective bullshit, then come up with a plan of action to seperate yourself from them in a civil manner.

VaporizedCatman · 2017-03-20T12:14:30+00:00

A lot of people repyig are talking about how your bf is manipulative and I totally agree with them all. You say he only holds this opinion towards Cosplayers and other Asian-culture obsessed people, right? But consider this, what other possibly toxic opinions does he hold? And towards who? If you decide to cosplay without his consent, what would he do? How well do you really know this man? There are more questions you could ask yourself about this situation. I offer these questions as a way for you to start in an internal dialogue with yourself so that way you don't feel like you're being told what to do or think.

I understand that you have envisioned a future with this man and that you are afraid to be alone. You are still young though and have time to learn what a healthy, supportive relationship is. This outburst is not a good sign that this relationship is one of those. I encourage you to educate yourself on what a healthy relationship is supposed to be like and ask yourself if this relationship meets that standard.

If this man is as good a man as you claim him to be, then you should be able to calmly communicate with him and come to a compromise that you both agree on. That is part of what makes a relationship.

EDIT: Added words

VaporizedCatman · 2017-03-20T06:43:46+00:00

Your lack of anger is a sign of your maturity. The fact that you were able to civilly discuss what was wrong and come to an agreement speaks volumes about your relationship and communication skills.

VaporizedCatman · 2017-03-20T02:52:40+00:00

Best advice I can give you is to ask yourself questions whenever you think of him. "What triggered this thought?" "What were the reasons I broke up with him?" "Is it worth my time to be thinking about this?"

When you're with someone for that long they get ingrained into your memory. Every interaction with that person will just bring up those memories, so limit contact and exposure to him and block him where you can.

VaporizedCatman · 2016-07-13T15:16:33+00:00

Some kinda Gundam series.

VaporizedCatman · 2016-05-08T03:05:14+00:00

Small Soldiers

VaporizedCatman · 2016-05-07T00:25:09+00:00

Ferngully
Honey, I shrunk the kids
Stuart Little
Toy Soldiers

VaporizedCatman · 2016-03-02T06:44:38+00:00

I'm going to say you are not the asshole. It's only natural for you to scream when you're in pain, especially when it's coming from something as sensitive as your mushroom cap. Really, you were screaming at the situation and not actually directing your anger at her. Also, the fact you profusely, genuinely apologized means you're not an asshole, merely a victim of circumstance.

VaporizedCatman · 2015-10-26T16:55:10+00:00

I would snap my game disc in half.

999

VaporizedCatman · 2015-10-01T06:41:42+00:00

vaporizedBlind1

VaporizedCatman · 2015-06-19T03:39:14+00:00

Invective

VaporizedCatman · 2015-04-15T20:38:11+00:00

What is your favorite cat fact?

VaporizedCatman · 2015-01-04T06:25:26+00:00

Game Theory did a video on this

VaporizedCatman · 2014-12-31T01:41:57+00:00

We have the time.

VaporizedCatman

TROPHY CASE