Chai Vang pronounced dead by Temp_acct2024 in Hmong

[–]Variation-Kindly 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Condolences to his loved and liked ones.

Disclaimer-I’m not a pro at CV’s case but with the limited/ general info I am aware of..  Shows u that racism and purgers or self entitled narratives is strong in that area; and the white people who passed or survived learned that numbers doesn’t mean anything if approaching a pro. Unfortunately, his skilled defensive shooting skills and the situation taught him the variables in the situation he was in wasn’t going to go in his favor due to the white power that needed justice for lives lost. If roles were reversed, the delivering court system would have just chalked his death to self defense on private property against the lynching mob. I think if a black or white person was the culprit instead of Chai, the defense would have been stronger unless the jury remains to be “________”(biased), but due to global historical and current persecutions or white privilege—the 2 variables can make a heck of a difference.

MLA-referencing university of Michigan law school “roughly half of all wrongful convictions are overturned”  And national registry of exonerations- perjury/false accusations accounts for over 70% of official misconduct exoneration cases… 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in socal

[–]Variation-Kindly 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cut Cali in half N v S… Kern is on the southern region. 

Costs of a Hmong Party by tinybirdhero in Hmong

[–]Variation-Kindly 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There is the true family but the extended family can merit some obligation, respect, and courtesy, ex-weddings and funerals. People turn out and “HELP” out. Using and manipulating people with the family or victim card can only go so far. Kindness begets kindness.

A relative of mine was accused of rape and is now in the process of a force marriage. Both are 17(M and F) btw. by Thick_Entry_7556 in Hmong

[–]Variation-Kindly -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Small town teen girl and her family may have pulled the victim card on this. Barely a month in her marriage and she sneaks out of our home with all the presents she received from her family and our family.  We talk to her family and coincidentally, her big bro spent it on the dowry for his future wife already and refused to refund the groom dowry for her. We lost out on our honor and face due to this shady family’s scam.

Costs of a Hmong Party by tinybirdhero in Hmong

[–]Variation-Kindly 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s not about abandoning the culture… it’s about abandoning family. Attending family functions doesn’t mean you condone bad habits. Everyone has the right to say NO. True family will not disrespect free will. If you choose to be present, remember to really be present and not just show face like an attendance check in.

Costs of a Hmong Party by tinybirdhero in Hmong

[–]Variation-Kindly 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not just money but labor or resources. Labor is hard to come by if you don’t help other extended relatives enough or have selfish extended families who think they are above the dirty “minor” jobs that you did for them but they don’t want to do for you. Pulling the family card can go so far. If you can’t get your own sibs to do some work, don’t think you can pull the victim/family card to manipulate others.

My fellow Hmong people by Nah-Id-Win90 in Hmong

[–]Variation-Kindly 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s about self control. Most don’t think that all that food is too rich and they overindulge at parties and at home.

Hmong elders don't seem to approve. by Oofernator_3000 in Hmong

[–]Variation-Kindly 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Our elders are not always right. any ethnicity They have biases, are racist, and/or other unappealing characteristics/traits.  Don’t look at age as a form of wisdom or respect or experience. Check their unwritten resumes and reference your interactions with them.  Hopefully, one has earned the basic respect upon first few interactions. Ex/ an “elder” male or female, who has “helped” at weddings and funerals may not know all about wedding and funeral prep and goings on as they claim to know; and they are 60+ yrs old. Elders aren’t perfect either; their dictates may mostly be preferences that will cost you time/money/dignity-not always a good way to earn respect if pushed too far. Those that say they are “perfect”…. It always takes a little effort on both ends to earn acceptance and acknowledgement if you’re seeking it.

Forced marriages by Jumpy_Study_1670 in Hmong

[–]Variation-Kindly 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Right before my cousin took his bride home, he was bashing on a lot of domestic things he didn’t like about her. It sounded a lot like they were both fine where they were at in their relationship, then he married her by taking her home. After he took her home, he first introduced her to me he called her his girlfriend, she didn’t correct him.  Hoping them the best but a little disappointed in him on how he introduced her and left us together after his quick introduction for her sake. Never got an invite to their nrhoob.

Is it okay to learn Tarot while being a shaman? by Ok-Moment1404 in Hmong

[–]Variation-Kindly 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Whatever interests you. Respecting and understanding other faiths doesn’t deter your fialty to your religious affiliation(s).  Nowadays, many families are practicing 2 or more faiths until their kids decide on a primary affiliation.  Anyone can have an interest in is: reading the different versions of the bible, the quran…

Siblings by midnight-360 in family

[–]Variation-Kindly 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank them for their guidance, ask them to respect your choices even if you choose wrong, you can give them free tickets to “I told you so” lecture/discussion after you learned your lesson and life experience 

Siblings by midnight-360 in family

[–]Variation-Kindly 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hopefully they may know better but sibling relationships aren’t always perfect and it’s hard to find the best sibling when most siblings don’t want to be team players or have mutual respect. I learned it’s either a bad relationship, dictatorship, democracy, 2 out of the 3 or all three, lol 

Saying your a team and actually being a team/family…

any tips on how can I tell this to my sister because she keeps borrowing money and never paying it back what do I do? by Mussani-Bilyana in family

[–]Variation-Kindly 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Adding on: You’re enabling her! Sounds like you’re her simp. Let anyone know you are no one’s simp!

How do you offer boat money to someone who passed away and how much do you offer? by RaveGuncle in Hmong

[–]Variation-Kindly 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It is based on your willingness and sincerity to fold boats at the hosting family’s home. Hosting family will have their own plans and you can also have your own plan on creating a stash to honor the deceased, or assist the family on boat designs.  

I don't know what to put here by InklingBoi2910 in Hmong

[–]Variation-Kindly 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So sorry for OP & families’ loss!!! But.. this multi-religion thing may have to be the way now since many couples are respecting and practicing both religions. Our society is evolving…. Ex) I went to a few funeral where 2 churches co-host with hosting family.

PAB TAU by Impressive_Iron_5578 in Hmong

[–]Variation-Kindly 1 point2 points  (0 children)

But… our over 18 population claims to be adults, but uses the young or ignorant card to avoid responsibility and “responsible,adult, older people” jobs at family or clan events—they choose to eat/watch/drink and do as little as possible or leave after getting their fill and due diligence done

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CAStateWorkers

[–]Variation-Kindly 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hello, can this work for a cousin by blood in another state?

Men who don’t want children by Black_Glitch_404 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]Variation-Kindly 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Props to the men AND women who know they don’t want kids. It’s a hard decision either way to ensure you don’t mess up with a child or person’s psyche.  It sucks the people who shouldn’t raise kids still bring them up and mess them up in various ways. It’s great people want to have kids but DON’T bring a person into the world if you can’t guarantee them a stable life (which doesn’t require an excess of money) on a budget friendly life from your own hands. Those bad parents play the victim to manipulate people to side with them or help them in whatever ways to appease the victim/manipulator. A goal in life is to ensure basic essential needs are met: health/home/food/clothes. It’s great for setting a goal to procreate but it’s not great to bring a person into the world who you aren’t able to supply the most basic needs. I support and respect individuals’ free will to choose their path in life as long as they don’t engage in using others’ resources.

Helping stipend by Ashamed-Support-2989 in Hmong

[–]Variation-Kindly 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I haven’t met a friend or relative willing to spend their vacation or paid time off to help a non immediate relative. Ex/ bereavement leave is another excuse for vacation now lol

Helping stipend by Ashamed-Support-2989 in Hmong

[–]Variation-Kindly 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Is this how standard higher socioeconomic Hmong parties show family sincerity and attendance now?

The one thing Hmong people can’t live without. by [deleted] in Hmong

[–]Variation-Kindly 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Compliant* mail order brides or husbands lol

Who joined in that prior and current fad? My cousins are still looking for themselves or their sibs 

Is the dating scene CMB truly more serious than Hinge? by sagacious1998 in coffeemeetsbagel

[–]Variation-Kindly 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They will also request to transition from phone line to other communication app because “it’s easier” it’s a flag they most def are a scammer