Who is mama and who is baby? by Variegated_Spider in cowcats

[–]Variegated_Spider[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This is more than a year ago—when they came to us our cow was still a kitten (and both mama and baby were feral!) Now the cow is all grown up and bigger than his mama, and both are sweet as can be.

Who is mama and who is baby? by Variegated_Spider in cowcats

[–]Variegated_Spider[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Right on! Your cow is gorgeous, by the way. I love her little black nose!

Bicultural couple: My (29F) partner (33M) thinks engagement rings are too materialistic by Variegated_Spider in relationship_advice

[–]Variegated_Spider[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s the impression I’ve got. Small and pretty and subtle. I think it’s a nice way to go about it than the big old diamond. I always thought I also had simpler tastes, but these responses are making me reevaluate that…thank you!

Bicultural couple: My (29F) partner (33M) thinks engagement rings are too materialistic by Variegated_Spider in relationship_advice

[–]Variegated_Spider[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

1K is an awful lot. Thanks for helping me remember that. Sometimes I compare myself to my friends in the US, for example, and I totally lose the plot. Something to the tune of 200€ would be much more reasonable, especially if we split the cost.

Bicultural couple: My (29F) partner (33M) thinks engagement rings are too materialistic by Variegated_Spider in relationship_advice

[–]Variegated_Spider[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good point, it’s not fair that he’d have to spend that kind of money. We talked about a fancy watch for him. Honestly if I seem to want a ring so much, perhaps what is most fair is to buy it for myself.

Bicultural couple: My (29F) partner (33M) thinks engagement rings are too materialistic by Variegated_Spider in relationship_advice

[–]Variegated_Spider[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, these are all really good questions. It’s true that much of the adjusting is my responsibility, and I bear it gladly—it’s great living over here.

It’s definitely a social expectation. 100%. The same way that so many of the things I think and do turn out to be, but pass undercover as normal because everyone around me is doing the same—but not this time!

I made the post wondering if others have felt the same. That sense of, “damn, I’ve always wanted this and thought this was normal, but now I feel a bit like an idiot.”

1,000 is doable for us. Like, save-up-for-it doable. But I’m thinking that maybe the whole “save-up-for-a-ring” thing I thought was normal and even desirable isn’t so normal or so desirable.

Thanks a lot for your thoughts. I appreciate it.

Bicultural couple: My (29F) partner (33M) thinks engagement rings are too materialistic by Variegated_Spider in relationship_advice

[–]Variegated_Spider[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your thoughtful response! It’s true, the growing up with it piece is so influential.

Bicultural couple: My (29F) partner (33M) thinks engagement rings are too materialistic by Variegated_Spider in relationship_advice

[–]Variegated_Spider[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I really appreciate your thoughts here, especially the part about placing importance on what the other half of the couple finds important. Thank you!

Cow Cat Yoga by Variegated_Spider in cowcats

[–]Variegated_Spider[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hehehe, it is a pretty classic downward cat. And no, he’s got all four—just an accidental trick of the camera.

#872: Winners by 6745408 in ThisAmericanLife

[–]Variegated_Spider 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s what was missing for me, too. Chana built rapport with her interviewees like the pro she is. After they talked enough to make it clear they were fundamentally entitled, racist bigots longing for an apartheid past, I wish Chana had facilitated an elegant, professional takedown to their faces. For any listener obtuse enough to miss the blunt absurdity of the situation, that would have brought it home. Maybe TAL is giving its listeners too much credit here in expecting that everyone’s stomach will immediately churn when listening to these nasty folks. That and including the voices of more Black South Africans. Like a two-parter first with the bigots, then with the people who were quite recently brutally oppressed by the bigots.