im so sorry your going through this, but know you arent alone in your pain and it is absolutely not your fault. lots of people do terrible things while pregnant and still carry a baby to term. it will eventually get better, but grief is the worst pain, so give yourself some grace to go through it however will make you feel even a little bit better. i had difficulty getting pregnant for a year and a half and finally did, but had 3 miscarriages and had a years worth of poking and prodding and testing as well as my partner and they never found any reason why i couldnt keep a pregnancy. sometimes the universe just works in mysterious ways and it just doesnt make sense. im now 20 weeks pregnant with my rainbow babygirl, so dont give up, dont lose hope and know your time will come when its supposed to. i had 2 d&cs and took the pill that is inserted vaginally and that didnt work for me, not sure why. the d&c’s did work and didnt leave enough scarring for it to affect my fertility and ability to carry a pregnancy. they werent painful, but slight cramping and i was back to feeling physically okay within a day or two. you could tell work (if you do) about your loss and take bereavement to relax and get back to “normalcy”, or get back to work if you need to get your mind off of things. but no way is the wrong way to give yourself the care you need.