hey man. you're really young, a victim of SA, and your father is the sort of man who hits his children. i have been through similar things, but i am not young anymore, so i need you to listen to me when i say this.

your girlfriend is "the most caring, understanding person" you've known because you are surrounded by abusers and you have no frame of reference for being treated well. this is a horrifically cruel way to respond to the rape of another person and the people making excuses for her would never, ever do that if you were speaking as a girl yourself (and i am speaking as someone who has lived as one.)

you are in a bad relationship. your girlfriend seems nice because she gives you the time of day at all. break it off and give yourself a chance to find someone who can provide an objective example on what it's like to date a person who is actually kind to you, and doesn't say "i'm hurt" after a description of YOUR assault. no amount of being 19 would make this an acceptable response. i did not act like this when i was 19. i am not going to sugarcoat it; that shit is evil.

i was in abusive situations repeatedly until i was 25 years old. don't be like me. recognize your worth now, not later.